Page 163
Story: All I Have Left
And I think, though I’m not sure, Wesley flips his dad off and takes off toward Grayson’s piano.
Frankie frowns. “I hope your kid is nicer than mine.”
“At least you have a girl on the way.”
She frowns, again. “Try a boy and a girl.” My eyes widen. “I blame Ethan for this one because twins are on his side of the family,not mine.”
“You’re having twins?” I gasp. Frankie and Ethan found out they were having another baby four months back.
Frankie touches her expanding belly. “Yep. Twins. They already fight constantly.”
I don’t think Frankie or Ethan were ready for another baby, but as Grayson and I found out, babies are never planned. I got off birth control two weeks before our wedding and got pregnant that same month. I thought it would take longer but nope, and as Grayson says, “Got her on the first shot.”
Pretty sure that was accurate because it wasn’t three weeks after our wedding night that I started feeling sick and stayed that way throughout my entire pregnancy with Taliyah.
Sighing, I look around our home that’s filled with laughter, family, and babies.
Kelly hands me a plate of food, her eyes on Taliyah. “I’m thinking I might want babies now.”
Josh pipes up with “You have to marry me first!”
Kelly is anything but traditional. She doesn’t want to get married and up until now, she claimed she didn’t want kidseither. I can tell by the way she’s eyeing her newborn niece that’s changed.
The night moves slowly, my heart never so full as it is now. Frankie refuses to let anyone else hold the baby and constantly has to tell Wesley no when he tries to push Taliyah away from his mom.
The laughter, the little boy giggling, the softness of my daughter’s cry, it’s perfect.
Later that night,when Grayson and I are finally alone with our daughter, we stare at her tiny features and pouty lips as she sleeps on Grayson’s chest. We refuse to put her down. That’s when I notice tears in his eyes.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, sitting up beside him on our bed. “Please don’t tell me you’re second-guessing all this because my hormones are off-the-charts crazy. I cried cutting a cucumber earlier because it made me sad to know the seeds could have been babies of the cucumber.”
Grayson’s eyebrows pull together as he rubs Taliyah’s back slowly. “I don’t know much about the reproduction of cucumbers, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way.”
I roll my eyes, touching my hand to Taliyah’s baby soft cheek. “You know what I mean.”
“Actually, I don’t.” He shifts underneath me. “I’m confused. We might have to google it.”
“Shut up.” I rest my chin on my knee as I sit next to him. “What’s really bothering you?”
He blinks away the tears and breathes in deep. Taliyah stirs with his movement but doesn’t wake up. “How is it that two years ago…?” He sighs, unable to finish his words as he presses his lips to Taliyah’s forehead, much like he does to mine.
He doesn’t need to finish. I know exactly what he’s talkingabout. How was it that she was born exactly two years from the day? I touch my hand to Grayson’s cheek, to his temple, the scar. I run my fingers over the bumps the stitches made, reminded that just because his scar healed, doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten. I try to imagine what he must feel like, to have this day hold so many different memories for him. I know what it holds for me, heartache, love, and so much more.
I think about that night more than I’d like to admit. And it’s then, two years later, I repeat the names in my head. I can’t forget them. I don’t think I’m meant to.
Lance Wheeler.You’re serving ten years. Your mama passed away last year, and you couldn’t attend her funeral because of what you did to us.
Colt Adams.You got eight years at a local correctional facility. I saw your dad last week. I couldn’t look him in the eye and he walked right by like he didn’t know me. But he does.
Baron Culter.You got a harsher sentence because you held Grayson down. Attempted murder. Your daughter, she’s turning two soon and you haven’t met her yet. I wonder if that eats at you? I wonder what you’d do if when she’s older, a man rapes her? Will you let him?
Travis Miles.Your parents haven’t talked to you since that night. They haven’t visited you in prison while you serve your ten-year sentence. Does it bother you? Do you replay in your head what you saw that night? I do. And your face is one of them.
Kaiden Krammer.You were released last Tuesday because of a plea bargain. You gave them Shane. And maybe you did that because you knew you’d be in more trouble if you didn’t. Or maybe, you were one of the good ones and in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ll never know. You’re nineteen years old and already have a felony on your record. I haven’t seen you around town yet, but it might be because you moved away. I can’t say I blame you on that one. Because I know, had Grayson ever seen you again, you wouldn’t have made it to twenty.
Andyou, Shane Larson.I hate you. I hate you so much it’s raw and consuming at times to the point I break out in a cold sweat. I saw you three months ago. Grayson didn’t know I went, but I wanted to hurt youlike you hurt me and I knew how. I showed up at the prison with my very pregnant belly and not a stitch of makeup on. I said to you, “I never have to hide my face again. I don’t wear makeup because I don’t have to hide bruises. And this baby was conceived from love. Her daddy, my husband, he’s a man who would never lay a hand on me in anger.” And then I left when tears fell down your cheeks. I don’t know why you cried, maybe because you knew your forever changed that first time you hit me, and that you sealed your fate when you swung that bat.
I remember that day. When I saw his face again.
Frankie frowns. “I hope your kid is nicer than mine.”
“At least you have a girl on the way.”
She frowns, again. “Try a boy and a girl.” My eyes widen. “I blame Ethan for this one because twins are on his side of the family,not mine.”
“You’re having twins?” I gasp. Frankie and Ethan found out they were having another baby four months back.
Frankie touches her expanding belly. “Yep. Twins. They already fight constantly.”
I don’t think Frankie or Ethan were ready for another baby, but as Grayson and I found out, babies are never planned. I got off birth control two weeks before our wedding and got pregnant that same month. I thought it would take longer but nope, and as Grayson says, “Got her on the first shot.”
Pretty sure that was accurate because it wasn’t three weeks after our wedding night that I started feeling sick and stayed that way throughout my entire pregnancy with Taliyah.
Sighing, I look around our home that’s filled with laughter, family, and babies.
Kelly hands me a plate of food, her eyes on Taliyah. “I’m thinking I might want babies now.”
Josh pipes up with “You have to marry me first!”
Kelly is anything but traditional. She doesn’t want to get married and up until now, she claimed she didn’t want kidseither. I can tell by the way she’s eyeing her newborn niece that’s changed.
The night moves slowly, my heart never so full as it is now. Frankie refuses to let anyone else hold the baby and constantly has to tell Wesley no when he tries to push Taliyah away from his mom.
The laughter, the little boy giggling, the softness of my daughter’s cry, it’s perfect.
Later that night,when Grayson and I are finally alone with our daughter, we stare at her tiny features and pouty lips as she sleeps on Grayson’s chest. We refuse to put her down. That’s when I notice tears in his eyes.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, sitting up beside him on our bed. “Please don’t tell me you’re second-guessing all this because my hormones are off-the-charts crazy. I cried cutting a cucumber earlier because it made me sad to know the seeds could have been babies of the cucumber.”
Grayson’s eyebrows pull together as he rubs Taliyah’s back slowly. “I don’t know much about the reproduction of cucumbers, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way.”
I roll my eyes, touching my hand to Taliyah’s baby soft cheek. “You know what I mean.”
“Actually, I don’t.” He shifts underneath me. “I’m confused. We might have to google it.”
“Shut up.” I rest my chin on my knee as I sit next to him. “What’s really bothering you?”
He blinks away the tears and breathes in deep. Taliyah stirs with his movement but doesn’t wake up. “How is it that two years ago…?” He sighs, unable to finish his words as he presses his lips to Taliyah’s forehead, much like he does to mine.
He doesn’t need to finish. I know exactly what he’s talkingabout. How was it that she was born exactly two years from the day? I touch my hand to Grayson’s cheek, to his temple, the scar. I run my fingers over the bumps the stitches made, reminded that just because his scar healed, doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten. I try to imagine what he must feel like, to have this day hold so many different memories for him. I know what it holds for me, heartache, love, and so much more.
I think about that night more than I’d like to admit. And it’s then, two years later, I repeat the names in my head. I can’t forget them. I don’t think I’m meant to.
Lance Wheeler.You’re serving ten years. Your mama passed away last year, and you couldn’t attend her funeral because of what you did to us.
Colt Adams.You got eight years at a local correctional facility. I saw your dad last week. I couldn’t look him in the eye and he walked right by like he didn’t know me. But he does.
Baron Culter.You got a harsher sentence because you held Grayson down. Attempted murder. Your daughter, she’s turning two soon and you haven’t met her yet. I wonder if that eats at you? I wonder what you’d do if when she’s older, a man rapes her? Will you let him?
Travis Miles.Your parents haven’t talked to you since that night. They haven’t visited you in prison while you serve your ten-year sentence. Does it bother you? Do you replay in your head what you saw that night? I do. And your face is one of them.
Kaiden Krammer.You were released last Tuesday because of a plea bargain. You gave them Shane. And maybe you did that because you knew you’d be in more trouble if you didn’t. Or maybe, you were one of the good ones and in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ll never know. You’re nineteen years old and already have a felony on your record. I haven’t seen you around town yet, but it might be because you moved away. I can’t say I blame you on that one. Because I know, had Grayson ever seen you again, you wouldn’t have made it to twenty.
Andyou, Shane Larson.I hate you. I hate you so much it’s raw and consuming at times to the point I break out in a cold sweat. I saw you three months ago. Grayson didn’t know I went, but I wanted to hurt youlike you hurt me and I knew how. I showed up at the prison with my very pregnant belly and not a stitch of makeup on. I said to you, “I never have to hide my face again. I don’t wear makeup because I don’t have to hide bruises. And this baby was conceived from love. Her daddy, my husband, he’s a man who would never lay a hand on me in anger.” And then I left when tears fell down your cheeks. I don’t know why you cried, maybe because you knew your forever changed that first time you hit me, and that you sealed your fate when you swung that bat.
I remember that day. When I saw his face again.
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