Page 18

I squeeze my eyes shut, afraid to answer him. When I open them, it’s eerily quiet around us except for our breathing. He’s waiting on my answer and it will dictate not only the rest of my night, but everyone around me.
I swallow, again, wishing it didn’t hurt. Without warning, he takes my face in his hands and kisses me. Long and passionate, a kiss I forget someone like him was capable of. I don’t kiss him back. I remain frozen, unresponsive. His mouth stops moving against mine.
When he pulls back, his eyes find mine. I don’t try to erase the look on my face. He needs to know that there’s nothing here. Not anymore. While my expression tells him it’s over, his are telling me he doesn’t care.
He backs up a step, letting me go. I move away from him, from the shadows.
Grayson comes into view. “Evie, are you okay?” he asks, Josh standing stoic next to him, their eyes on Shane.
By the time I look up, I can’t even process what I want to say to him.
Shane snorts, his eyes on mine, waiting for my answer. He rubs his thumb over his bottom lip, a smirk present. Grayson saw the kiss. And maybe Shane meant for that to happen, but whatever the reason, it’s evident that if I say no, this ends in a fight.
Laughter in the distance draws my attention to the parking lot and then back to Grayson. I stare at him. Unsure. Hell, unprepared. He tilts his head and leans forward. “Are you okay?”
I watch his face, his eyes. He glances away for a second, but I know he sees the tears in mine. My heart feels like it climbs up my throat and I can feel my pulse beating in my neck.
“You’ve been gone a while.” Shane twists from me and faces Grayson, a wicked smile on his face. I eye Shane, but he doesn’t skip a beat when he says, “But in case you’re wondering, she’s fucking me now.”
I sigh, knowing exactly what he’s doing. “Shane, stop it.”
Grayson’s entire face collapses into a grimace, as if that’s the worst possible thing to think about. And then it happens in an instant. Grayson lunges toward him only to be caught by Josh. “Easy there. He’s not worth it.”
Grayson snaps his head in my direction and he runs his hand over his face. Realization finally dawns on his face. He left, and now the love that he wanted to be waiting for him, didn’t, couldn’t. He pushes himself away from Josh. “He’s not worth it, but she is.” His eyes focus on Shane. His words are harsh, but there’s a calmness I hadn’t expected from him. I can see the veins in his neck bulging when he spits out, “Evie can do what she wants but have some fucking respect for her.”
I turn my head and squeeze my eyes shut, wishing I was anywhere but here. Shane reaches for my hand and draws me toward him. I shake my head and push back against him. “Let me go.”
He glares and leans in, his words tearing open the wounds he’s constantly giving me. He buries his head into my neck and shoulder and mutters, “You either take my fuckin’ hand and follow me, or I take this knife in my pocket and slit your boy’s throat in front of you.”
There’s the Shane I know. The one done with apologies and threatening.
Knowing salt will fester in my cuts he’s sliced through my heart, I unwillingly take his hand. With the shifting of his stance, Grayson’s head tilts to the side and his eyes narrow on my hand in another’s. He swallows, like he’s attempting to be okay with it.
“Come on, buddy, we need to catch up.” Josh yanks on Grayson’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around him.
Shrugging them off, Grayson twists sharply and drives his fist into a speaker to his left. I jump at the sound and notice his scowl on Shane.
I see the temper is still there.
“Hey, you’re paying for that,” Ethan teases, trying to ease the tenseness of the mood.
Shaking out his hand, Grayson cracks a smile but the air remains electric around us. He nods to Ethan and turns his back on me. “I will.”
I shake my head, frustrated and utterly annoyed at that point. Luckily, Ethan and Josh have dragged Grayson far enough away that he doesn’t hear what Shane says next, his voice not as composed as it had been earlier. “Maybe I haven’t proved to you how much I love you. Is that it?”
Deep down, I think Shane knew that if Grayson ever returned, I wouldn’t give Shane a second chance. Not that I am now. I can’t figure out what the hell I’m doing. So for now, I try to keep the peace and calm down this insane lunatic before he does something stupid. “Can you take me home?”
I don’t leave with him because I want to. This is not me accepting his endless apologies. I leave to protect those around me. As much as I hate what he does to me, I hate even more what he’s willing to do to those I love.
Without looking back, I follow Shane to the parking lot. He opens the door without a word, and then stalks around the front of the car, watchful of my every move, the door slamming shut behind him. He sits in the seat, his hands shaking on the steering wheel. With a sigh, he turns the key, the engine in his Mustang roaring to life with a rumbled jolt. No words are said to between us.
Controlling the sigh that wants to escape, I know this is the point I need to act civilized. I need to be careful of what I say. Shane doesn’t know the truth about Grayson and me. I never told him that he took my virginity, or what he meant to me. That part of my life, I kept it to myself. I didn’t even tell Frankie. Butit did happen. My unforgettable heartache. A night I will never ever forget. Never want to forget.
Nothing I can say will make Shane calm down so I remain quiet. I fidget with my dress and fight back tears. I tell myself it’s okay, he won’t hurt me too bad. I make excuses and sadly, most of them, I convince myself in believing. Isn’t that what we do when we’re in a toxic situation we can’t get out of? We find ways to justify it to ourselves until we’re ready to make a change.
I think about Grayson again. I analyze every expression he gave me tonight. Does he feel the same? Surely he doesn’t. Part of me thinks that night we were together was a pity fuck. He hadn’t stayed, so clearly it meant very little to him. For so long, I had always been just Evie to Grayson. The one who had always been there for him whenever he needed. His sister’s friend.Hisfriend. I was the one who always remembered that he was allergic to tomatoes and picked them out of everything for him so he didn’t get sick. I was the one who knew he couldn’t play baseball unless he had his lucky socks and made sure they were in his bag before every game. I took care of him. Until he left.
Shane turns onto the road that leads to his house, away from town. “Shane.” I sigh, knowing he’s heading the wrong direction. “Can you take me home? I’m tired.” I rest my head against the window, staring at the passing cars, each headlight burning bright. My eyes burn trying to hold back tears, both from the light and the pain. My situation is frustrating and no matter how much I justify it, I know it’s wrong.