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“That might be worse,” she notes, straightening her dress where her boobs are practically falling out.
I quickly look the other way. I don’t care to see my sister’s tits. “For Wes, yeah. Kid can’t handle his sugar.”
She points to Jameson who’s now asleep under a table, lying on a dirty floor. “He’s no better.”
True.
Kelly disappears and I’m left holding Roman. He smiles at me. “Hi.”
Hi is his only word. At nine months old, I’d say that’s actually pretty good. Don’t tell Kelly. She thinks he’s going to be a genius someday and brags that he’s the smartest kid in the family.
A waft of stench hits me and I realize why Kelly handed me her kid. “Roman, buddy. You stink.”
He scrunches his nose and stares at me, as if he’s asking what I’m going to do about it. I hand him off to Frankie. “Here, take him.”
She does and immediately frowns. “Grayson. You did that on purpose.”
Ignoring her, I turn to Taliyah and scoop her up. She cackles, her laughter infections and music to my ears. “I got you something.”
I set her down and she picks her wedgie out in front of everyone. “Can I open it?”
I wait for Evie to come over and together we hand her the guitar. “I was your age when I got my first guitar.”
Taliyah’s eyes light up and I remember Evie sitting on the counter in my parent’s house, clinging to my body the day we found out she was pregnant with Taliyah. Watching my daughter tear open that box and seeing the pure excitement on her face, I’m reminded of the promise I made to Evie.
“I love you, daddy,” Taliyah cries, holding me tighter.
My eyes meet Evie’s, smiling at me holding our daughter.
I made a vow, right then and there in the midst of a bar and way too much fucking pink. Seven years ago I died. At least part of me did. But seven years ago is where this had to end. I had to stop searching for answers because I wouldn’t get them. Today would never be about Shane again. And not for my own sense of whatever. It wasn’t closure. It selfish, in part. I don’t regret it, but in that moment with Taliyah, the second she lunges herself at me, wrapping her arms snug around my neck and squealing with joy, that’s when it hits me. I don’t need closure.
I have forever and always.