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We lie like this for a moment, both silently coming down from our high. He nuzzles his head into my neck. “Holy shit, I can’t even tell you how badly I needed that.”
I laugh, heat burning my cheeks as my tears finally dry. “I know what you mean.”
He lifts his head. “Did you…?”
I nod, smiling up at him. “Surprisingly, yes.”
He smirks. “At least I did something right tonight.”
I smile. “You got more than this right.”
Letting out a heavy sigh, his weight collapses against mine, our bodies remaining connected for the longest time. He slides off eventually, but we remain tangled around each other without speaking.
Instead, I watch him, fearing this might have hurt him, but he makes no outward sign that he’s in pain.
I try to pull away from him but he shifts and holds me closer, his arms wrapped around my chest. “Don’t go.”
I press my head back against his shoulder, listening to his breathing. “I won’t.”
It’s crazy how coming together like this was exactly what we had been missing.
66
EVIE
Darkness envelopes Grayson’s room. The only sound’s our light breathing. We have sex once more, because he claims once was not enough, and I’m happy to help out. This time it’s slower, his kisses deeper, and there’s more emotion behind every bit of it.
It’s when we’re lying here the second time, I think about what led us here, and the ugly parts surface. The secrets we’ve kept from each other and though he knows mine now, I still don’t know the truth about what he went through.
“Tell me what happened to you in Iraq.”
Immediately, his breathing changes. Reaching down, he yanks on the sheets at our feet and covers his waist. “Why does it matter?” He isn’t looking at me but I feel his body tense and go rigid beside me.
“Because if we’re going to move forward, I need to know, Grayson,” I tell him softly, and roll onto my side to face him. “It’s the only way this is going to work. No more secrets.”
Turning his head, his guarded, tormented eyes meet mine. “A lot of shit happened over there.”
“I know you were captured and held prisoner,” I admit. “Wyatt told me.”
He blows out a breath. “Figures.”
“Just tell me,” I beg. “Please. I need to know.”
He’s breathing heavy but his jaw relaxes a little, rubbing his hands over his face, his words void of emotion when he says, “My training in the Army was in Special Forces, specifically in counter-terrorism. In November, my team was shipped to Iraq on a mission. Me and another guy, Matt, were out one afternoon a couple weeks after we got there on clean up as we called it. It’s just combat search and rescue. We would go out and look for other soldiers who hadn’t returned to the base. About an hour into it, we came across a deserted town about twenty miles from the base.” He pauses, a deep sigh rolling through him.
I draw in a breath myself, unsure where this is heading and fearing this might bring up unresolved pain for him that’s not necessary.
“It was a set-up from the beginning,” he mumbles keeping his eyes on the ceiling. “To make a long story short, we came under attack and were captured. Matt and I were stuck down in an underground bunker.”
“What did they do?”
“Nothing at first. I don’t think they knew what the fuck to do with us. But we heard them. I mean, the shit we saw even before being captured was crazy. Rape, murder, I couldn’t believe that kind of bullshit that went on and the cops there didn’t even bat an eyelash.” He turns his head and looks over at me, our faces inches apart. I hold my breath for what’s to come. “I started to think we were going to die in that place. Every night I would lay awake and hear the sounds of bombs going off, accompanied by constant machine-gun fire. I was in hell. Right in the middle of it, the worst place on earth fighting someone else’s battle, in a fucking hole in the ground, left to die.” He stops, seeming to struggle for a moment, his voice beginning to shake around every word. “I told myself that if I ever got out of there alive, I would come home to tell you how I felt. And never let you go.”
Well he did, and it nearly killed him again. Regret washes through me. “How did you get out of there?”
Turning his head, he stares at the ceiling again, the weight of his story heavy. I run my fingertips over the gunshot wound on his shoulder.
“When we didn’t tell them anything, they threatened to kill us. We didn’t even know why we were there and the Army kept it that way in case something like that happened. We were search and rescue. We didn’t know shit.” He blows out a heavy breath. “I’m not even sure how long we’d been there, but one night they led us to a field where a group of men were. They had baseball bats in their hands.”