Page 32 of A Very Happy Easter

Robert gave an irritating heh-heh-heh as Coco smiled triumphantly. I didn’t like her on instinct, but I had to admit she was perfect for Robert.

“Well, everyone knows Edie doesn’t date. The last bloke she dragged along to sit beside her at one of these things was an actor.”

My blood turned to ice cubes and clack-clack-clacked slowly down my spine. How on earth would Robert— Oh, wait. Yes, I could absolutely see him watching a movie titled Gangbangs of New York, and now he’d saved up that snippet of information just to embarrass me. Shit. I wanted to crawl under the table and die, but Heath didn’t back off.

“Oh, really? Stage or screen?”

“Screen.”

“What’s he been in? Maybe I’ve seen it.”

Please, don’t go there…

“It was slightly adult in nature,” Robert said in a mock whisper, and Coco giggled. Thank goodness Dennis had started talking to Freddie and Petunia about ground conditions at Ascot.

“Like The Shining?” Verity asked oh-so innocently, and I could have kissed her. “That’s a real classic.”

“Not quite. I hear it’s called Gangbangs of New York.”

Damn, he’d definitely seen it.

Verity looked him dead in the eye and raised her voice. “What’s a gangbang, Uncle Robert?”

Again, not an uncle, but our circle was keeping the tradition of imaginary relatives alive and well. Well, perhaps not quite so alive. I was currently witnessing a murder. Freddie’s head snapped around, but Heath stepped in first.

“Mate, do you seriously think this is an appropriate subject when there’s a child present?”

“Who the hell is talking about gangbangs in front of my daughter?” Freddie asked.

Verity pointed at Robert. “I’m just waiting for him to explain what that is. He said there’s a movie about it.”

Freddie stood up, and people from neighbouring tables were starting to stare.

“Get out of here.”

“It was a joke, pal.”

“Look, I don’t care what you do in your own time, but you do not discuss porn within earshot of my little girl.”

“I wasn’t?—”

“Quite frankly, I don’t care what excuse you’re about to make. Verity is fifteen years old.”

“You think I’m the only person who watches porn here? You probably jerk off to anal while your wife sleeps in another room.”

Gasps came from all around as Robert grabbed Coco by the wrist and marched off with her stumbling along behind him. But only for a second. She wrenched herself free, and when he turned to snap at her, she slapped him. Security moved in their direction, no doubt shocked to have something to do before everyone was well and truly plastered at the end of the evening.

I got up and hurried to Verity. “I’m so sorry you had to see that.”

She gave me a hug and leaned in to whisper, “He’s such a weasel. And I totally know what a gangbang is.”

So did I when I was her age. Before Neil Short happened, I’d been more promiscuous than I cared to admit, but that one night had changed everything.

“Don’t tell your dad that,” I whispered back. “And don’t let boys push you into things you don’t want to do.”

“I won’t, I swear.”

A tall, dark-haired man took Coco’s vacated seat, and a pretty blonde plopped down next to me when I returned to mine. The guy looked vaguely familiar—maybe I’d seen him at an event before?—but when he nodded a greeting to Heath, I realised they knew each other.