Page 31 of A Very Happy Easter

“You’re such a dolt.”

“Tonight, I’m your dolt, so you’d better drink that coffee and find a pair of shoes. And I should mention that some folks from work will be there. Blackwood has a charitable arm, and they often take tables at events like this one.”

My chest tightened. “Do they know we’re going? Have you told them we’re not really dating?”

“Yes and no. I just said things are casual between us, which isn’t far from the truth. They might wander over to say hello, that’s all.”

“Thanks for the heads-up. Forewarned is forearmed at these things.”

That way, I could ration my energy. Big events with hordes of virtual strangers drained me like nothing else, and I took ages to recover. Salma had blocked out tomorrow morning in my schedule so I could sleep, and at least tonight, Heath would help to carry the load.

Eight

Oh, hell.

“Nobody told me he was going to be here,” I whispered to Heath.

The Renner Foundation had booked tonight’s table, but instead of Gerald, my first-cousin once removed, and his wife, my cousin Robert was sitting there along with a blonde I assumed was his new girlfriend. Uncle Dennis was there—he showed up to literally everything—plus two family friends, Freddie and Petunia, and their teenage daughter, Verity. Verity looked bored out of her mind.

“Who is that?” Heath asked. “I saw him at Eisen and Janie’s wedding.”

“My cousin Robert. He cheated on his wife with my brother’s assistant. Well, Bex didn’t work for Eis at that point, but after Robert got her pregnant and then left her destitute, Eis hired her.”

“So we don’t like Robert. Got it. Good thing you wore the frog dress. Who’s the woman he’s with?”

“No idea. You already know Dennis. Freddie, Petunia, and Verity are fairly innocuous.”

Dennis greeted Heath with an enthusiastic handshake, and Robert’s slimy gaze slithered over my skin as he checked us out from head to foot. His girlfriend offered a condescending sneer. Good. Great. This was going well. Why hadn’t anyone warned me of the switch?

“I thought Gerald and Elspeth were coming tonight?” I said.

“Gerald fell down the stairs,” Dennis informed us. “Terrible shame. Broke a hip. Elspeth was going to come without him, but the doctors thought it might be better if she stayed at the hospital.”

“How long ago did this happen?”

Dennis glanced at his Rolex. “About three hours. One of his shoelaces came undone, he tripped, and crack.” Dennis’s chortle was hardly appropriate. “Luckily, young Robert and his lady friend were able to fill in.”

“Coco,” the woman said. “My name is Coco.”

Opposite me, Verity rolled her eyes.

“Ah, yes,” Dennis said. “Like the drink.”

“There’s no ‘a.’”

“Like the cereal, then?”

“No, like Coco Chanel.”

“Never heard of it. So, Heath, how’s that horse of yours doing?”

Before Heath could answer, Robert got in first and reminded me just why I couldn’t stand him.

“So, Heath? You’re the latest rent-a-boyfriend?”

What? Fuck. How did he know? I mean, why would he even suspect? Heath hadn’t put a foot wrong. Now, he squeezed my hand under the table and stayed calm in the face of impending disaster.

“I’m sorry?”