Page 22 of A Very Happy Easter
“You’d pay half my rent in exchange for a few hours of my time each month? That feels as if I’d be taking advantage.”
“You like to google things, and my net worth is regularly speculated about online. I won’t go into exact figures, but I will say that if you took one of the higher estimates, you’d be in the ballpark. Not to be crass, but I could pay half your rent every day for the remainder of my life and not even notice.”
“Well, okay then.”
“That sounded arrogant, didn’t it? I didn’t mean to sound arrogant. And maybe I’m being too cheap—I could pay all your rent if that would sweeten the deal.”
“No, half is fine.”
“Then you’ll do it?”
“Yeah, Edie, I’ll do it. But I still think I’m getting the better end of the deal.”
“Good. I mean, phew. Are you available tomorrow night?”
“Do I have to wear my good suit?”
“It’s actually a smart-casual affair. Chinos and a button-down shirt would be appropriate.”
“And I just need to make small talk and guard you with my life?”
I smiled at that. “Yes, precisely. Be ready to throw yourself in front of any speeding bullets that fly in my direction. Dennis will be there, so you’ll know at least two people.”
“Shit, does that mean I actually need to buy a racehorse now?”
“Don’t worry about that. Just be at my house by six thirty, and bring a rental agreement for me to sign. Tax purposes and all that.”
“Are you sure about this?”
The last fake boyfriend I’d hired had caused me many sleepless nights—and not in a good way—but recruiting Heath for the position felt right. It was a win-win for both of us. He wouldn’t need to find a roommate, and I wouldn’t need to come up with increasingly outlandish excuses to avoid the rest of the men around me. Heath and I got along okay. I didn’t feel nervous being stuck in a car with him, and after his effort with the mugger, I was confident he’d stand his ground if a particularly persistent wannabe suitor showed up.
“Yes. Yes, I’m sure.”
Six
“I was worried you wouldn’t come.”
Heath stood on my doorstep in dark-blue chinos, brown leather brogues, and a crease-free pale-blue shirt under a soft brown leather bomber jacket. The faint aroma of aftershave wafted towards me, something citrusy. I wasn’t quite prepared for the flip my heart did at seeing him again.
“I’m a man of my word. You’re going barefoot? If you want a piggyback, I’ll need a contribution towards the electric bill too.”
“I have shoes, and I also have a small surprise for you.” I opened the door wider. “The car should be here any minute, but come in.”
I’d left it until mid-afternoon to tell Mama that I didn’t need a ride to the event because I was bringing someone. My text had, of course, been followed by a phone call from her, which Salma had answered in order to explain that I’d gone into a meeting and wouldn’t be available for several hours, maybe more.
“A surprise? Is it any kind of food product?” Heath asked.
I picked up an envelope from the table in the hall. “Nope.”
“An NDA?”
“Shit, I didn’t even think of one of those.”
“Well, consider it, and I’ll sign if it helps to put you at ease.”
“Thank you.” How would I even begin to explain this to my lawyer? “I do appreciate that, but it’s not an NDA.”
“Edie, you don’t have to keep buying me stuff. I was joking about the electric bill.”
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