Page 25 of A Very Happy Easter

“Rest assured, I have no intention of doing that.”

“Is your mama gonna be there tonight?” she asked me.

“Unfortunately.”

Jerilyn snorted a laugh. “Good luck to ya, boy.”

“Please don’t make him jump out at a traffic light,” I begged her. “We’ll be in and out as fast as possible. Chug a drink, buy a painting, dodge the family members who want to give us the third degree.”

“I’ll try to stay close by,” she assured me.

“You know I’ll pay for the parking ticket.”

Mama pounced three seconds after we walked in the door. Clearly, she’d been lying in wait. After she kissed me on both cheeks, there was a moment of delicious confusion as she took in Heath, studying him with the subtlety of a hungry dog looking for bacon. Yes, I’d actually brought a man with me. No, he wasn’t one of her chosen ones.

Finally, she managed, “You look vaguely familiar?”

“We met last weekend at Eisen and Janie’s wedding.”

“This is Heath Carlisle, Mama. Janie’s sister’s fiancé’s brother.”

Her brow might have furrowed, but she’d just had her Botox topped up. Her usual lady had moved to Spain, and the replacement wasn’t so good, Mama said. She’d spent a week freaking out that her face was lopsided before getting her stylist to redo her fringe. I thought it looked fine. I mean, she’d been every bit as beautiful with no Botox at all, but she didn’t look any worse this week.

“Yes, now I remember. And you’re an art collector?”

“Never put down roots long enough to collect any art.”

“Then why are you here?”

I gripped his arm tighter. “Heath’s here to keep me company.”

Papa was standing behind Mama, and he joined in with a suspicious glance. “You’re not a banker, are you?”

“No, sir.”

“The last chap Edie got involved with was a banker, and he upped and left for New York after six months.”

“London is my home now.”

“Heath was in the Army; that’s why he used to move around,” I explained. “Now he works for a private security company.”

Mama passed a hand over her brow. “Heavens above, he’s one of those mercenaries?”

Heath’s lips twitched as he struggled to keep a straight face. “I’m on the investigations team, and occasionally, I do some bodyguard work.”

“What unit were you in, son?” Papa asked.

“I joined the Parachute Regiment when I was sixteen.”

“Why did you quit?”

Oh, for goodness’ sake. “Papa, we’ve only just got through the door. Can you save the interrogation for our third date, at least?”

“This is a date?” Mama didn’t sound happy. “But Jeremy Cuthbert and Rufus Smyth-Corbin are here.”

“Fabulous—we’ll be sure to say hello on our way around. Oh, look—there’s the Huntingdons.”

I steered Heath away from my parents towards the Earl and Countess of Westwick. I’d attended primary school with their daughter. Philomena was several years younger than me, but at the time, we’d both had ponies, so we used to talk sometimes. Now Phil was a successful international event rider, and I was a borderline misanthrope.