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“Moving on,” I attempt with a smile anyhow.
“Aw, come on! We’ve waited our entire lives for this, Little J,” Elijah says.
“Yeah, let us have it,” Thomas chimes in.
Forget the fact that they’re thirty-one and twenty-six, having never brought a girl home themselves. Something tells me Eli might be close, though, with all the time he’s been spending with his shop manager, Bee.
“Alright. That’s enough embarrassing stories for one night,” my father cuts in, but then he goes on to say, “Like the time Jude thought he could findPlatform 9 ¾at the subway station when he was eight,” and everyone busts up in laughter, Declan’s the loudest from where she sits beside me.
They continue on, handing her more stories to keep, her attention rapt and eyes glittering with amusement the whole time. She shares a handful of embarrassing stories of her own, and it makes it all worth it. My brothers howl in laughter, her giggles vibrating against my chest, and the reality strikes hard—how she fits in here with my family as easily as she did with my friends. As if she were always meant to be right the fuck here. Planted firmly within my life.
______
It’s hours later when Declan is browsing through our family photos, book in hand and my mom sitting next to her on the living room floor. She feels the full weight of my stare, but when her gaze finds me from across the room, mine has climbed to the ceiling, my head resting at the back of the couch.
I mumble an incoherent string of words under my breath. Something along the lines of,Little D, you’re fucking perfect. I’m done for, aren’t I? Fucking done for.
I need to get her out of here. Spend some time alone with her. Have her to myself. And I need—fuck, I need… I come to a stand, slapping two palms to my thighs as I rise to my feet. “Alright. It’s getting late. I think we should head home,” I interrupt their conversation, signing to my mom, too.
The latter stifles a laugh. “But the fireworks don’t start for another few hours,” she signs back.
“I’d rather beat the traffic back home,” I respond with a shrug. It’s a shit excuse, and the three of us know it, but my mom only smiles in return.
“Okay, but one more thing before you go?”
Ah. “Of course.”
“Will you come outside with us?” Mom asks Declan.
Her eyes meet mine, curiosity sparking. I walk over to her and hold out my hands, pulling her from the floor and into myembrace. With my fingers at her chin, I tilt her head back until her gaze meets mine and press a kiss to her soft lips. She chases my mouth for another when I pull away, and the grin that tips my lips melts against her own.
When we step out onto the back deck, Mom proceeds to explain our ritual to Declan. “When we all get together, with our family or with our friends, we always make sure to set our worries free by the end of the day. So, we sit here.” She gestures for Declan to sit at the edge of the porch beside her. I occupy Declan’s other side, lowering down onto the deck next to her. Dad, Elijah, and Thomas take their seats as well. “And we breathe our worries into our hands like we’re filling a balloon, and then we let them go, where God, or the Universe, can take the burden of them off our hands for a little while.”
Declan nods with a swallow, a sheen of moisture rising to the surface of her gaze.
Mom leads, and we all follow.
I blow any anxiety I might be holding onto, any negativity residing within my thoughts, into my hands acting as a balloon, and let them go.
Declan does the same, taking it as seriously as I knew she would.
I wrap an arm around her, watching intently as she breathes and lets her balloon go, as she closes her eyes and a smile blooms to life on her lips.
“Some people have found it a bit weird,” I say quietly, though I’ve never found the ritual strange myself. Only different. Unique. Something my friends always got a good chuckle out of but participated in anyway, forced to under the intimidating stare of my father. It doesn’t matter how amusing they found it, though, they could never deny leaving my family’s home feeling somewhat lighter.
Declan shakes her head with watery eyes. She opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. And then she tries again. “Weird is the furthest thing from my mind,” she whispers. “Jude, this is… your family… this blowing our worries into a bubble thing—it might be the most normal, beautiful thing I’ve ever seen a family do. And being a part of it is something I’ll never forget. So, thank you.”
Wrapping both arms around her now, I drag her closer and press a kiss to her temple. “I’m really happy you came home with me,” I respond with a thickness in my throat, knocking my forehead down into hers.
“I’m really happy I did, too.” Blue eyes swim into the depths of my own.
And the moment alters something within me, irrevocably.
A feeling I’ll never forget, either.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jude