Page 17

Lucky for him, I don’t hear any shots being fired, so Cal must not have seen it.
Pretty ballsy move, though,is the thought crossing my mind, the one tipping my lips in an amused grin, when I’m caught by Jude’s stare. He stands at the edge of the Masons’ porch, the storm of his gaze calm for maybe the first time since I ran into him in the hallway the other night, and it’s glued to mine.
It’s only a quick blip of a moment that we share.
A smile, on my end. A dip of his head in my direction, on his—with that Ithinkmay have been a smirk but could have just been a play of the sunlight dancing on his face, but he retreats into the house before I can be sure.
I let out an involuntary sigh.
That was… better than I could have hoped for, I guess.
Addy scoots closer. “Be careful with that one,” she says.
I roll my head on the float to face her. “What? What do you mean? Why?”
She shrugs. “He’s… He’s…”
“What?” I laugh, even though her demeanor is leaving me feeling uneasy.
“It’s just that—well, he’s real secretive, that one. And he can be a little mean. It worries me, for you.”
“For me?” I attempt to brush off her seriousness with my light tone. “Addy, I’ve shaken the guy’s hand one time—have hardly even had a conversation with him. And he doesn’t seem to like me all that much, so I really don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
Her smile is a careful, knowing one. “Sure. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you. And more than that, I’ve seen the wayyoulook athim,and I have never in all my years of loving you, seen you look at anyone like that, Declan. Like you might be interested. I think you could grow to like him, and I just want you to be careful.”
Careful.Careful, careful, careful,her word weeds through my mind. Careful is exhausting. Careful is navigating invisible bounds, walking on eggshells, and holding words inside until they knot like a fist in my throat. Careful is holding myself back from the things I want and playing it safe. Careful is one of the many things I promised myself I would try to leave behind.
And maybe that’s the draw. Nothing about Jude screamscareful.
“He doesn’t seem all that bad,” I find myself saying. “Intimidating, sure—with one hell of a scowl. But maybe just a bit… misunderstood?” Truthfully, I wouldn’t have expected him to help me out last night—not just once, but twice—and it was a kind thing to do, even if his demeanor doesn’t necessarily oozekindness,either.
“No—no, you’re right. I’m sorry,” she apologizes. “I didn’t mean to insinuate that he’s a bad guy. He’s not. He’s actually really…nice…when he wants to be.” Her thoughts echo mine.“It’s just that, well… You’ve been through a lot, Declan,” she says quietly. “And I think Jude may have, too.”
Her admission sends my heartbeat racing. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before, but somehow, without even having to think too much about it, I know she’s right. I’ve seen the shadows lurking in his gaze when he looks at me. Like maybe I remind him of a few of them when they’re already so hard to forget.
“You’re both fighters, you know,” Addy continues. “Fighting for your place in this world, fighting just to be standing here. I think you might need someone who is theoppositeof that. Someone who isn’t down in the trenches with you, but who can offer a hand to help pull you out when you need it.” She blows out a long, thoughtful breath. “Or maybe… Maybe you two could relate on that front. Who knows. Just be careful, okay?” she says. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
I’ve seen enough of that already,she doesn’t say, but I feel the words in the way she looks at me, her gaze conveying how much she cares about me, and I can add it to the infinite number of reasons why I love her so much.
But again, I don’t think she has anything to worry about there.
I’m pretty sure the draw is one-sided.
Jude is the one with all the walls, urging me to walk away.
______
“Upsy-daisy, Decky! I have something fun for you!” Addy squeals as she bounces onto my bed a handful of hours later, shocking me straight out of sleep. My heart pounds, and I feel its beats reverberating through my entire body, theboom, boom, boom, boomechoing through me too quickly.
I turn over, my mouth falling open in a yawn as I pull my blanket off my too-warm skin, and immediately throw it overher, pouncing onto her covered body in retaliation for tearing me out of my peaceful, mid-to-late afternoon nap.
One induced byhervodka lemonades, thank you very much.
She shrieks beneath me, laughing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
I give in easily, sleepiness keeping my movements weak. I tumble over to her side and tug the blanket off of her. Her hair points in five different directions, and I fall against the headboard with my laughter, bruising my shoulder in the process.
“Shit, that hurt.” I’m laughing, and rubbing at my arm, and kicking Addy’s feet away from mine when she flings two slivers of plastic my way from between her fingers.