Page 45

The latest party at Landon’s grows quickly out of hand, the living room growing smaller as more bodies push into the space. I can sense Declan’s level of unease rising, control slipping from her grasp, but she takes a deep and intentional breath and turns her attention to me, visibly calming.
Impressive, considering she doesn’t have a drink in her hand.
Yet,I amend. Addy is in the other room making her one as we speak.
But the party only continues to grow until not a single square inch is left for privacy.
“You want to head outside?” I question.
She nods, and I take her hand, leading her through the crowd.
We sit down at the edge of the dock at the end of Landon’s property. The sun has already set, leaving the lake a midnight black beneath a star-streaked sky. Or what would be pitch black if not for the reflection of stars scattered at its surface, doubling their expanse.
I clear my throat, shift closer to Declan, and grip the edge of the dock with both palms—fucking nervous.
I’ve taken the past handful of days with Declan slowly. And while I haven’t kissed her again, I have made my interest known, however subtle it may have been. Just because I’m certain of what I want, doesn’t mean it isn’t still terrifying. Because I already know that once I allow myself to dive in with this girl, I’ll sink too fucking deep.
And yet even with that knowledge, I tread forward regardless.
“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about the other night… Make sure I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable, or as if I pushed you at all,” I begin, opening up the conversation we’ve both been avoiding.
“No.Oh, God, no.Not at all.” She shakes her head in earnest. “If anything, I’ve been feeling like I should apologize toyou.I practically forced myself on you, begging you to kiss me like that. I’m mortified, actually, which is why I haven’t said anything…” her words trail off, and a flush rises up her cheeks. “I am sorry, though. I know you don’t like people invading your space, and I—”
“Don’t be sorry,” I interrupt. “Not about that. Because I sure as fuck am not. Not by a longshot.”
A slow swallow treks down her throat. “You’re not?”
I shake my head. “I like you, Little D. And I’m attracted to you. And I’ve fought these feelings for seven long fucking weeks, but I don’t care to anymore.”
A breath rushes through her parted lips, and even in the dark, beneath the dim dock lighting, I can see her blush grow, spreading from her cheeks down into her neck, her chest.
“I want you to know where I stand,” I continue. “In case you might change your mind about that whole ‘friends’ agreement we made a while back.”
She smiles, biting down on the curve of it. “I already have,” she responds, and my pulse skyrockets. “I’ve changed my mind a thousand times back and forth, but in the end, I only regret that we were interrupted before…” she trails off with a shrug, glancing down at her knees and at the cup in her hand.
“Before what, Little D?” I urge her on, leaning closer.
She steels herself with a deep breath and drags her gaze to mine. “Before we could talk about it. Before we could do anything else—take it somewhere else,”she admits, and my chest tightens, heart pounding against its constricting walls.
“Oh?” I question, somehow making it sound as if her confession didn’t just tip my world off its axis for a few beats.
“Yeah.” She scoots closer, lifting her legs and draping them over my lap. Blue eyes spear mine, holding me in place. I glide my hand up the thin material covering her legs—black leggings.
“What about the fact that you’re leaving soon?” I voice the deeper question we’ve both been avoiding as well. I want more with her—of course I do—but where will that leave us when she goes? Is long-distance an option for either of us? I’ve no clue.
A deep sigh rolls out of her as her gaze tips up toward the sky. “If I’m being honest, I have no idea. I don’t know, Jude. I just know that this,” she moves closer again, hand sinking into my hoodie and chin knocking down onto my shoulder as her gaze meets mine once more, “feels right.”
With a firm grip on her hips, I pull her onto me until she’s fully seated in my lap.
She feels right—without a doubt.
But again, where does that leave us?
“I don’t know where it will lead, but maybe we don’t have to know,” she responds, answering the question I haven’t yet verbalized, and it’s only now that I realize—it doesn’t matter. I’ll take her any way I can. I’ll take any piece of her she’ll allow me to have.
Pathetic? Possibly. But I don’t have any fucks left to give where keeping myself distanced from her is concerned.
“Alright, Little D. We’ll play by your rules this time.” I dip my face into the space between her neck and shoulder, lips grazing her warm skin.