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“Spill.” It’s the only thing she says. But her smile is warm, if not intensely curious and eager for details. Small twigs and leaves crunch and snap beneath our feet, and she spins to face me as she walks backward, knowing this trail like the back of her own hand. When I don’t immediately start talking, her eyes growwide and she throws her arms out at her sides. “What is going on with you two?”
I shrug, twisting the cap off my water bottle. “I mean… nothing?” I have an entire list of more accurate responses running through my mind, but not a single one of them seems to fit. Not really.
Her scoff rings clear through the trees, disappearing past the sounds of cicadas buzzing all around us. But her smile only grows wider, blooming into something just this side of mischievous.
“What?” I ask, my steps slowing.
“‘What,’”she replies, mocking me with a playful tone. “I’ll tell you what—first,Jude carries you out of that party, whereeveryonesaw you two in some kind of heated, tension-filled battle of wills—which youstill, infuriatingly enough, won’t explain! But now you two are… I don’t know. You’re spending every night together, and now you’re sneaking out of his room in the mornings, and I see the way you two look at each other, but you’re saying it’snothing?”
“Because it is nothing, Addy. We’re friends, and I like him, sure, but I mean, hello.” I throw my hands out at my sides, too, because I don’t really know what else to say, but isn’t it obvious?I’m a mess.And I know I can’t handle something like that right now. If something, whatever that means, is what Jude is even interested in to begin with. I have no clue where he stands anymore.
I tell Addy as much, stating the other obvious fact—I’ll be in New York, and he’ll be here in Oklahoma. For at least the next two years, and who even knows beyond that.
“But Jude isfromNew York, Declan; it’s his home. It’s not impossible,” she says, but it feels impossible. Improbable. I’m not sure I could handle an actual relationship short distance, let alone long distance. And what Jude and I have… isnotarelationship. It’s a friendship, and an attraction, and there’s adifferencebetween the two. Between that and actually being with someone.
“Do you have feelings for him?” she asks carefully, and my heart climbs up my throat, inch by suffocating inch.
“I don’t know, Addy,” I lie, but she can see right through me. I do have feelings for Jude. But just because you feel something for someone doesn’t mean you should be together.
The thought puts a damper on my mood.
This whole conversation, really.
So I turn the focus to her. “What about you and Boss?” I ask. “We’re leaving in two weeks. Aren’t you worried about the long-distance thing, too?”
“Of course I am,” she huffs, and I watch as her mood visibly dips, sinking to a level that rivals mine. It makes me feel like a total asshole.
“I’m sorry, Addy. I shouldn’t have asked that.”
She waves a hand through the air between us. “Don’t be sorry, Dec. It is what it is. Yeah, I’m worried—I mean, we both are. But at the end of the day, wewantto be together. So we don’t really have a choice but to try and make it work. You and Jude, you could—”
Me and Jude.
Me and Jude…
I expel a breath and kick at the weeds beneath my feet. “Can we talk about something else?” I ask. “Anything else.” Tears burn at my eyes. I don’t know why I’m feeling emotional, only that I am. I try to push forward and continue our hike, but Addy is already stepping toward me and wrapping her arms around me. Mine wrap around her of their own volition, clutching her tightly in return.
I squeeze my eyes shut and squeeze her even tighter. Our hug helps to ground me, and I hope it helps to ground her, too.
When she pulls away, a smile takes over her face, and it’s like the whole conversation never happened. “Are you up for some fun tonight?” she asks, and her smile stretches wider as her brows inch toward her hairline.
When it comes to Addy, I’m pretty much up for anything. Even when her smile shifts into one that holds far too much amusement. It eclipses the melancholy mood entirely.
“Are you going to tell me what it is we’ll be doing, exactly? Because that look on your face is saying a whole lot of things you aren’t.” I circle it with a finger in the air.
She doubles over in laughter, cracking herself the hell up. “Oh, I’m going to tell you, alright. Because, Declan,babygirl,my best friend in thisentire goddamn universe…We are in for atreat tonight!”
Chapter Thirteen
Declan
The Rising Phoenix.
The bold, bright pink letters of the club marquee stand out in the dim alleyway—a scattered line of anxious, amused, rowdy football players waiting to get in and cheer their teammate on.
Addy and I are the only girls here to help soften their wild energy, and even then, we haven’t really smoothed their rough edges at all. It’s entirely amusing, though—and endearing, to be honest. That they’re all here in support, and excited at that.
I’ve gotten to know them a lot more than I ever thought I would. Enough that it no longer feels like I’m standing in a group full of strangers, but something a little closer to friends, maybe. Like Parker, Jameson, and Williams—Jude’s roommates who are staying at the Masons’ as well. And Landon, who’s invited us back to his lake house a few times. And then there’s Boss, of course. Along with a few of the other guys who are here tonight, too.