Page 56 of 500 First Editions (The Romantics #3)

AUTUMN

STOP, BLOCK, AND ROLL

I lay awake, numb to the world as the minutes until sunrise ticked by. Our bags were packed and waiting by the door. The house was spotless. All that was left to do was leave the keys under the doormat and head out.

My phone lit up as texts from Lisa and my mother peppered the screen. I didn’t care about the notifications. I didn’t care about leaving them unanswered.

Ryan laid beside me, finally snoring after he had tossed and turned all night. He had tried to start the conversation that I knew was inevitable, but I didn’t want to hear it.

I wasn’t stupid. I put the pieces together as soon as the words came out of Bev’s mouth.

Finding out that Shep was my father and that I had been lied to for my entire life was a much easier pill to swallow than the realization that Ryan had kept it from me.

He knew.

And he said nothing.

I had believed Ryan. I have believed that he wasn’t just playing me. That this was real. That—for once—I could trust someone to catch me when I fell.

But I fell hard, and he just watched.

Tears leaked from my eyes as I looked at the time on my phone again. The date on the calendar added insult to injury.

We were just a few days shy of three months together. Just a few days shy of making a decision that would have altered the trajectory of our lives.

But I had been right all along. This was just a game to him. I was just a game. Something to win.

Was he even real? Or was he exactly who I thought he was? A con man. A salesman who preyed on insecurities. A scammer. A grifter. A master manipulator.

I truly believed that people’s actions define them.

Cheaters cheat.

Liars lie.

And Ryan Ford broke my heart.

He painted me a picture of a vivid life, then tore it up and left me with the pieces. He conjured the illusion of happiness and contentment, then made it disappear like a sideshow magician.

I had planned to spend the morning sipping coffee under the willow tree, but he had stolen the solace of that place from me.

I didn’t bother staying in bed until my alarm chimed. I didn’t say a word to Ryan as I got up early, dressed, and got ready to leave.

I had just taken my last bag to the car and slipped the rental keys under the doormat when Ryan appeared in the doorframe with his backpack on his shoulder.

He looked absolutely exhausted. “Wills . . .”

“Are you ready to go?” I asked cooly, as I gave the house one last walk through to make sure nothing had been left behind.

I wasn’t coming back.

Ryan caught me around the waist when I tried to walk out the door. “Can we talk?”

I had to give it to him. He was a damn good actor. Twenty-four hours ago, I would have believed the pain in his eyes. Now, I just didn’t care. It wasn’t anything compared to the knife he had slid into my heart while phony smiles and poisonous promises of a future dripped from his lips.

“I’m not ready to talk,” I said as I avoided his gaze, pulled away from him, and got behind the wheel.

I watched his reflection in the rearview mirror as he closed the front door, tossed his bag into the backseat, then dropped into the passenger’s seat beside me.

I kept my hands firmly at ten and two so he couldn’t reach for me.

The exit signs for Topeka taunted me as we ventured east in complete and utter silence.

I hadn’t even bothered turning on the radio.

Nothing could drown out my thoughts about Shep, my mother, the man I had always thought was my father, and everyone else who had been caught in the web of lies.

Amber had to have known before all of this. It explained everything. She only got her father every other weekend. I had mine all the time. I just didn’t get to know until he was gone.

A tear slid down my cheek as the first signs for Kansas City came into view.

“Wills . . .” Ryan said softly as he reached to wipe it away.

“Don’t touch me,” I whispered to keep my voice from breaking. It did anyway.

Ryan froze, then slowly retreated.

We made it to Kansas City before Ryan spoke again. I sat stoically in the driver’s seat as I followed the GPS, then switched to paying attention to the signs as we neared Kansas City International Airport.

“Do you need to stop or something?” he asked, glancing at the gas gauge.

“Yes.”

Worry creased his face as I followed the signs to the passenger drop off spot in front of the airport terminal, and put the car in park.

“Willow.”

I picked up my phone, sent the flight information to him in a text, then blocked his number.

“Your flight leaves in an hour and a half, so you should get going,” I said as I stared at the dashboard. “Your ticket is already paid for. I just sent the information to your phone.”

His face bleached white. “Baby . . . Not like this. Please ,” he begged. “I was going to tell you. Just let me explain.”

I closed my eyes to keep from looking at him. I couldn’t break. For two hours I had been strong with him sitting beside me, but I couldn’t handle it anymore.

“But you didn’t,” I clipped as calmly as I could.

Ryan didn’t respond to that. He couldn’t.

An automated voice echoed over the airport speakers, warning cars of the time limit for departure drop-offs as tears streamed down my face.

He had already humiliated me. A few tears wouldn’t make it any worse.

Ryan reached into the backseat and grabbed his backpack. I pressed the button to pop the trunk as he rummaged around in his bag and pulled out a stack of aged envelopes.

“Lisa wanted me to give these to you. I promise I was going to tell you everything last night,” he said.

“Empty promises are just lies.”

Ryan closed his eyes like this was physically painful for him. But he had no idea just how much this hurt. “Please, let me explain.”

“Fine,” I clipped. “When did you find out?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “A week ago.”

At least he was truthful.

“But I was going to tell you as soon as?—”

I held my hand up to silence him. “But you didn’t.”

“Wills . . .”

“Please just go,” I said.

“Willow—”

“Go,” I barked.

“I’m not getting on that plane.”

“I don’t care if you get on the plane! ” I snapped. “Why should I care what the fuck you do, when you never cared about me?”

“Just let me?—”

“Get out of the car, Ryan.” I was radiating with anger, trembling with rage and unfettered energy.

His eyes locked on mine, but I didn’t dare meet his gaze. I wouldn’t survive it.

Time ceased inside the car, even though the world kept spinning around us in a mirage.

I was running out of oxygen. This vacuum was suffocating both of us. My lungs ached as I held it all in. My eyes stung with salty tears as he slowly zipped up his backpack and unbuckled his seatbelt.

Ryan slipped out of the car, shouldered his bag, then grabbed his suitcases out of the trunk. He braced his hands on the frame of the car. “Promise me one thing.”

“You don’t get to make demands.”

He closed his eyes to block out the blow. “Promise me that you’ll open the envelopes. Promise me that.”

My jaw ached from the way I was gritting my teeth. The automated reminder about drop off times played again.

“Go.”

Ryan locked eyes with me, and this time, I locked eyes with him. I wanted him to see the pain and the hurt that he had caused.

The news would have hurt either way. But instead of having him to run to, I had to run away.

“I was going to tell you one more thing last night,” he said. “But I never got the chance.”

“Whatever it was, I hope you live with that regret for the rest of your life.”

“I love you,” he said without a hint of remorse. “And I will never regret that.”

Tears spilled from my eyes in a downpour. “Yeah?” My voice cracked. “Well, I regret loving you.”

The image of Ryan standing on the airport sidewalk as I pulled away from the curb haunted me for three days as I headed east.

At the first stop for gas, I blocked my mom and Amber.

At the first stop for food, I blocked Lisa.

At the first stop for sleep, I blocked Greg.

Ironic that he didn’t care about talking to me until now.

And when I woke up, I unblocked Ryan’s number only to break down in tears when I saw the missed calls and unread texts.

Then, I blocked it again and kept driving.

I didn’t stop driving except for short stints of sleep and fuel until I hit the Carolina coast.

I followed the edge of the continent until the tree-lined roads broke open, showing off a glimmering ocean as I was welcomed to Cedar Island, North Carolina.

It was only when I pulled onto her street that I regretted not telling Wander I was coming.

But as soon as I pulled into her driveway, the door to her and Jack’s beach house opened, and she ran down the stairs.

“I had a feeling you were coming,” she whispered as she pulled me out of the car and into a hug. “Come on. I’ve got the guest room ready. Whitney’s flight lands soon, so she should be here by dinner.”

I broke down and sobbed, gasping for air. I didn’t deserve them.

“H-How did y-you k-know?”

Her smile was concerned, but kind. “You were silent in the group chat. We messaged to make sure you were okay or to see if you were just busy. When you didn’t answer, Whitney hopped on a flight and I put the sheets in the laundry.”

I was hit by a fresh wave of tears as Wander pulled me in for another hug. She wasn’t touchy-feely. Hugging wasn’t the way she showed love.

But it was how I received it, and she knew that.

“Everything hurts,” I cried.

She held me tighter. “I know.”