Page 73 of 27 Kisses

“It’s more that you didn’t hurt anyone when they trashed your house.”

“The night is young.”

“Christy didn’t say anything during all that?”

I slowly shake my head. “Not much.”

She nods. “I think I get the picture. Your house is in chaos. Your secret boyfriend let everyone think you were in love with your sister’s straight husband and it was one-sided. Have I got it so far? Oh, and that Vivian guy is still harassing Jonah.”

“Wait,” I say, leaning closer, “did Jonah really try to get him fired?”

“I don’t know. I try not to get involved in lovers’ spats.”

I stare at her. “They hate each other.”

“Exactly.”

I decide to leave that alone. I also don’t point out the obvious flaw in her statement. She’s helping me with Aidyn. “Well?”

“I think I’ve got it. Things got tough, and you ran off.”

“Hey. Not cool. And that’s not what happened.” Although it’s really, really close

She taps her fingers on her chin. “It’s simple, really, Garrett. Do you love him?”

“More than anything. But he’s not ready to come out. Might never be ready.”

She leans forward in her chair. “So that’s it then? That’s everything?”

“No.” I laugh. “And it’s not even that if I’m being honest.”

When I stop, she rolls her hand. Remembering that she’s missing her own family thing to be here with me motivates me to talk.

“After Aidyn proposed to Emily, I never went to another family Christmas—or Thanksgiving—until now.”

“Why not?”

I shrug, not sure I understand it myself. “At first, it was so I could avoid the pain of seeing them together. But not just that. I didn’t want to mess up the thing they had. They were both so happy. When I moved to New York, I didn’t have to pretend as much during the holidays. But I lost all that time. With Emily. With Lanie and with Jane. Because I was selfish. I don’t deserve—” I swallow the words.

“To be happy? Self-preservation isn’t selfish.”

“Have you been talking to Aidyn?” I ask. She opens her mouth, and I shake my head. “Never mind. Go on.”

“But you’re really being selfish now.”

“Jesus, Nat. Is this a pep talk?”

“I don’t do pep talks. Suck it up and make things happen or wallow. But go one way or the other. And don’t cry to me if all your Christmases to come are sad and lonely because you were too scared to take a chance.”

“Beautiful, Nat. We should have you write all the wedding vows from now on.”

“Fuck off, McGrinchy.”

I shake my head. “I’m being selfish because I didn’t give Aidyn a chance to explain?”

She stares at me. “You still don’t get it. Let’s examine the facts, shall we? It’s snowing out. And your car got stuck in the snow.”

“Yes. But what does that have to do with anything?”