Page 36 of 27 Kisses

“You tell me. It’s your house.” Jane has always been outspoken. But now her filter is gone. It’s almost like she no longer has time for bullshit. “Christy has a problem with me, not the other way around. I’ve tried to apologize for…everything, but the man is stubborn.”

“He is.”

“And he’s got good reason to be pissed at me. I was…awful.”

I squeeze her arm. She’s a foot shorter than me with strawberry-blond hair, brown eyes, and an elfin chin. This close, I can see the scars she tries to hide with makeup. “That wasn’t you. The addiction?—”

“Don’t do that.” Her eyes flash with emotion. “Don’t make excuses for me. Mom does it—” She swallows, shaking her head. “Saying I had no control over my addiction, my actions, means it could happen again.”

“It could, Jane,” I say as gently as I can. “You know that.”

“Only if I let it.” She pushes her shoulders back with a determined glint in her eyes. My sister has come a long way. Her lip quivers and she bites down on it.

“Mother tried to convince me I’m bi.”

She chokes out a laugh. “How did that work out?”

I smile. I’m glad to have my sister back, but I’m not looking forward to grumpy Aidyn and my mother stirring everything up. “Janie,” I say, reverting to her childhood name, “this is going to be a shitshow.”

“Probably.” She takes my arm. “Come on then. Let’s get it over with.”

I expect my mother to be sifting through the ornaments and deciding which ones she deems appropriate. But this? This is so much worse.

Mother has the photo albums out. All of them? A few are open on the coffee table and others are stacked on the floor.

I stare at her and my father as they flip through the pictures. “Why?”

Jane snorts as Mother glances up. “We’re looking at photos, dear.”

“I see that. Why?”

She dismisses me with a wave of her hand. “Look at Jane. This was taken on her first birthday.” Her smile is…wistful. And then I get it. Mother wants to live in the past. A simpler time before careless drivers and drugs and her son being gay.

“I look like Simon…I mean, obviously, he looks like me—but I always thought he looked more like Isaac.” She runs her fingers over the plastic covering the picture.

They do this for a while. Our parents go through albums and show Jane pictures she coos over. I don’t scream. No matter how much I want to.

“Emily is so beautiful here,” Mother says, waving me over. “Look, Garrett. Isn’t she beautiful?”

I shake my head, swallowing the emotion clogging my throat. I’m not sure I can handle it. Seeing my sister happy and beautiful with—hold on—some guy I don’t know. I take the album Mother is holding out. Emily is wearing a long gown. But it’s red, not white. Her prom picture. I sag in relief. But it’s short-lived. The wedding pictures are here. They just haven’t gotten to them yet.

As much as I don’t want to see them, I’m more worried about Aidyn. Is he up for this trip down memory lane? He already seems sad— I suck in a breath.

“What?” Jane asks, taking the album out of my hand. “Is something wrong?”

I can’t explain it. Not with Mother and Father listening. The sudden realization that Aidyn has been sad. Why didn’t I notice before? I assumed it was about us. But maybe it’s not. I still struggle with the grief over losing my sister. He lost his wife. You don’t just get over that. It’s always there. A part of you.

“Garrett?” Jane asks again in a concerned voice.

“It’s nothing.” I paste on a smile. “She looks beautiful. Who was her date?”

I don’t really care, but they argue back and forth over it, which gives me time to breathe. At least until I hear the sound of Aidyn pulling in. The muffler is old on his van and the sound is distinctive. I glance out the window for confirmation, although it’s more about doing something. Nervous energy runs through me. This is why I don’t do family get-togethers. They are fraught with drama and?—

A hand on my arm stops my pacing. “Hey, bro. I need you to keep it together, okay? Don’t freak out on me.”

Behind the sparkle of amusement in Jane’s eyes, I can see the worry that this will go bad. I nod.

At the knock, I answer the door. Aidyn smiles at me, and for the thousandth time today, I wish I could kiss him without caring who might see. I usher him in. Lanie is still walking toward the door, her texting slowing her down. I leave the door open for her and head into the living room behind Aidyn.