Page 50 of 27 Kisses

Aidyn is still asleep when I wake up. He’s closed the diner for the next few days, so it’s not surprising. How long has it been since I’ve woken up next to him? A month at least. Lanie being grounded put a damper on things. He still hasn’t told me what that was about.

The worry lines are gone when he sleeps. I wish I could take them away permanently. He’s been grumpy lately. Which, this being Aidyn, shouldn’t be a surprise. But he’s not usually as grumpy with me. And there’s still an underlying sadness.

Or maybe Aidyn was just reacting to my sour mood. I want to give this to him. An amazing family Christmas. But it’s hard when I’m not feeling it. I can buy the ornaments. Decorate the tree. Buy presents. Even if my heart isn’t in it. Even if I still feel like I’m letting everyone down. Is that why I like spending Christmas alone? I don’t have to pretend I’m happy.

But I’m notunhappy. I love my business. Building something that provides a need in our community. Thanks to the gala, it brings in clients from Kansas City and even St. Louis. They want the rustic or weirdly themed wedding. The views from Bishop Fields. The experience. It brings revenue to other businesses in Mule Creek. And anything that helps Aidyn and Zye brings me joy. I love getting to see Aidyn more, even if I get to touch him less. And being there for Lanie. I go to her softball games and school things. I am part of this family. So why do I still feel like I’m peeking through the window?

And why do I have to pretend to be happy on Christmas?

But the answer is this beautiful man next to me. I’ve loved him for the last fifteen years, but loving him from afar, as hard as it was, was easier than this. Because now I know what love canbe like. How amazing we are together. If l lose him again, I’m not sure I can survive it.

Aidyn shifts, rolling toward me, and I snuggle closer. I’m not ready to get up.

“Morning, darlin’,” he says, opening his eyes. “You’ve been staring at me.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“You’re sweet, love. But I’m a grumpy Irishman going on forty. With the wrinkles and a belly to prove it.”

“Laugh lines are sexy as hell. And this,” I say, pinching the small layer of padding on his stomach, “is irresistible and all mine.” I run my fingers through the silky red hair leading down to the nest of curls holding the main prize. I clear my throat. “How long do we have before everyone returns?”

He grins, showing off those laugh lines I adore. “What did you have in mind, darlin’?”

“Can I blow you?”

He inhales a breath. “Feckity-feck, Garrett. Jesus.” His cock twitches, bumping against my hand.

“Someone likes the idea.”

“I do, but it’s my turn.”

I kiss him hard. “Aidyn, sweetheart. I fucking love you. You know that right?”

“So, you like the idea then?”

“Actually, I have a better one.”

And that’s how we end up on opposite ends, each with a mouthful of cock. It’s difficult to keep my focus with Aidyn’s mouth on me. He finds that spot under the head of my cock, and sweet Jesus, I’m not gonna last. Pleasure shoots through me from the heat of his mouth as he takes as much of me as he can and then he swallows. “Fuck, Aidyn. So good.”

A sharp pain on the back of my leg from his pinch reminds me I’m getting lax on my duties. I lick and suck his cockhead andtake him in as far as I can. I’m so hard from his mouth on me and his musky scent. I’m a whimpering mess. Then he sucks my balls into his mouth.

I pull off. “Fuck. I’m gonna—” And then I’m coming down his throat. I stroke him, my motions jerky. When I’m able to focus, I take him back into my mouth, but I don’t get far before he’s coming all over my face.

We cuddle and kiss and clean up. And Aidyn gives me kiss number twenty-three in the shower. Then we take our time. It might be the last time for a while. It’s the uncertainty that hits me the hardest.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and our family dinner. And after that, Christmas.

There will be fewer people on Christmas Day. And for once, I think I’m ready for it. Not the day itself. But spending time with Aidyn and Lanie. Celebrating as a family, and then, if Aidyn is ready, we can really be together. The ring is in my sock drawer. Is it too soon to propose? Not for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man.

And if Aidyn’s not ready, I can wait.

Always planning others’ weddings instead of my own.

But I push that thought away. My life is fuller than I ever thought it could be. As long as I have Aidyn, that’s all I need.

Fourteen

AIDYN