Page 30 of 27 Kisses

The thing is, I can’t really say what’s stopping me. But when I think of telling anyone, I panic.

I lost Emily. I can’t lose Garrett too.

Garrett makes a sudden turn to the left and touches my arm to guide me. As I follow, his hand drops, and I want to grab it and never let go.

The wall of ornaments is divided. One half displays individual themed ornaments. The other side has boxes of ornaments in various colors: red, green, blue, and even purple. It’s beautiful and overwhelming.

“My thought for decorating the tree is to use a color scheme like red and gold or blue and silver,” Garrett says, stopping in front of the blue ornaments.

The store is crowded, and with so much packed into the small area, there’s barely any room to move, let alone breathe. My chest tightens and I rub my hand against it to ease the sudden pain. It doesn’t help. Why didn’t I talk to him? I could have avoided all this. Having to explain.

“Aidyn?” The concern in his voice has me smiling at him.

“I’m fine, lo— Garrett.” I clear my throat. “Whatever you think. It’s your house.”

He narrows his eyes. Is he going to start yelling?

A mom with two wee lads, twins, knocks into me and apologizes. One of the boys grabs my sweater as he zooms past me, leaving red prints. I try to wipe the spots away, but they’re sticky. That’s just grand.

Garrett grabs my arm and pulls me to a less crowded area. “What’s wrong?”

I shrug. “It makes sense that you want new ornaments.”

He crosses his arms. “Isn’t that why we’re here?”

“Yes.” The words are right there. They aren’t really the problem. It’s this pressure on my chest.

“Aidyn.”

My head snaps up at his sharp tone and the words spill out. “New is nice. I like new…things.” I sound like an idiot, but at least I’m not bawling like a wee babe. “But older things, traditions, are nice as well.”

“I don’t have any ornaments. None. Zilch. I know my family has some, but—” He sucks in air and his eyes widen. “Aidyn. I, I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry. I wanted to start new, not erase the past.”

“It’s fine.” I touch my chest again. My wedding ring, hanging on a chain, is tucked under my sweater. Everything is fine. It has to be.

Garrett steps closer so someone can go around him. He’s inches away but still too far as he stares at something on the wall behind me. “I know you have your own ornaments?—”

“Garrett—”

He squeezes my arms. A quick squeeze and then gone. “Let me say this. Everyone, my parents included, has boxes of decorations and ornaments. But I don’t want— I can’t—” He takes a deep breath, getting a look from the person walking by. Mr. Peavler. The owner of the store.

“Everything okay, Garrett?” His hard gaze turns to me. “Christy?”

“We’re fine,” I snap, irritated by the interruption. Damn nosy people.

“Sure, sure,” he says, nodding. “But if you plan on knocking anything over, can you take it outside? Or to the hardware store across the street?”

I gape at him. “Seriously?” You knock over one cake, one time, and no one lets you forget it.

Garrett gives him his charming smile. The fake one. “We promise not to destroy anything, Mr. Peavler.” After the guy moves on, Garrett laughs. “This town, I swear.”

“You said you can’t. What can’t you do, love?” I ask in a low voice as I study his face.

His eyes catch mine for a brief moment, showing me his pain—his uncertainty—before darting away. “I can’t surround myself with the past. Christmas isn’t always a happy time…as you know.”

“We can make new memories. Happy Christmas memories.”

He smiles. “I want that. Or to at least try.”