Page 28

28

Nick

February

“ C aleb!” Coach calls from the bench. “Get it together!”

Caleb scowls. He glances up at the stands, and I follow his stare to where McAvoy, his development coach from the Buffalo Jets, is watching. I’m not sure if he’s the reason that Caleb’s off his game today, but I know Caleb doesn’t want to look bad in front of him. This guy will have a say how Caleb’s contract will go after school’s over, and the last thing Caleb wants is to be sent to their farm team.

“Caleb, you good?” I mutter to him.

“Fuck off.”

Rhys’s eyebrows shoot up, disappearing behind his helmet, and he stares between Caleb and I. Frowning, I give Caleb a long, hard look.

“Sorry,” Caleb follows up immediately, though he doesn’t look or sound all that sorry. He shrugs. “I’m good, Nicky.”

We’re down by two during a crucial moment, and Caleb fumbles with the puck again. The crowd actually boos him and his face flashes with anger. In his frustration, Caleb slams his stick against the board, rattling it.

“Maybe it’s not your day,” I hear Coach telling him. Caleb growls and splashes water over his face. “It happens, Caleb. I’m benching you.”

“No. Don’t. I’ll sort it out.”

“You’re not right in the head because of Penny.”

“Don’t bench me.”

Coach gives a long sigh and ends up not doing it, anyway. I’m glad he doesn’t, because even on Caleb’s worst day, he’s still better than most of the team.

Still… I don’t mean to eavesdrop, but I can’t help it. Caleb mentioned that his mom and sister were going to watch this game, and now I realize that they’re not in the seats that Caleb reserved for them. Only Maddox is there wearing Caleb’s jersey, next to two empty seats.

I look at Caleb, and as soon as his eyes meet mine, his expression hardens.

“What happened to your sister?” I ask, voice low.

“Fuck off, Nick.” This time, he doesn’t apologize.

In the end, we barely win the game by one goal, mostly thanks to our defense, and no thanks to our offense. Caleb storms off immediately, ignoring how I call after him.

When we get to the locker room, he’s already rushing to the shower.

“The hell’s his problem?” Rhys asks.

“His sister.” My thoughts won’t settle, and anxiety creeps up in my veins. “She was supposed to be at the game today, but she didn’t show up. I think she might have had another emergency.”

Rhys winces. “Shit.”

Caleb reemerges from the showers in record time and quickly changes into his suit, all the while mumbling about how having to wear these ridiculous outfits is a stupid, useless tradition.

“Caleb,” I call.

He raises a finger in my direction, though I don’t think he’s ever going to bother talking to me, anyway. Caleb buttons his shirt and walks over to Coach, and I watch as they have a quiet conversation at the side of the room.

And, like I predicted, Caleb doesn’t talk to me afterwards—just grabs his bag and gets out.

Sighing, I massage my temples, ignoring how Schultz is venting about a class he’s taking. When I don’t answer him, he gives up and turns to Vega instead, and the chatter of the locker room devolves into a buzz.

I need to talk to Caleb.

Rhys seems to get it, and he doesn’t question when I take the quickest shower ever and rush out of the locker room.

***

The door to our room’s askew when I get there, and I can hear voices coming from inside. I step into our room, and Caleb’s shoving things inside his bag. Maddox’s seated on his desk chair, frowning.

They both glance at me when I enter, though Caleb looks away immediately.

“What’re you doing?” I mumble.

“What’s it look like? I’m packing my shit.”

“Jeez, be nice,” Maddox tells him.

I stand there, frozen, and watch him. He grabs the scarf I gave him and puts it into the bag, and that tiny detail is enough to get me hopeful that maybe we’re still all right—even if I’m pretty sure he’s not aware of most of the things he’s putting away. He even shoves mismatched socks inside, and a cap that I swear he’s never worn.

“Where are you going?” I ask.

Caleb ignores me. Rolling his eyes, Maddox is the one who answers for him. “He’s heading home for a week or so, until they can find someone to look after his sister.”

“What happened to Penny?”

Maddox says, “She got another infection, but was trying to hide it from their mom because she really wanted to be at today’s game. When their mom finally noticed, she was burning up. It’s not serious enough for another hospital stay, but she can’t be left at home. Caleb’s heading home so their mom can go to work.”

“Fuck.” I stare at Caleb, fully aware that I’m having a conversation with him through Maddox. Ridiculous. “What about your classes? And we’ve got a game this weekend.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Caleb snaps, finally addressing my existence. Maddox prods him with a foot and Caleb groans. “Already e-mailed my professors, and my uncle also knows I’m skipping the next game.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. He can’t miss these games. We’re in a crucial spot right now, and we have a chance to go all the way to our conference’s championships… to regionals. Caleb joining the team had a lot to do with that.

Also, Buffalo’s watching him.

“We need you at the game,” I say, my voice clipped.

“Pfft, so dramatic.” He zips up his bag and glares at me.

“Who usually stays with her when your mom’s at work?”

“One of our neighbors is a retired nurse and would stay with her, but she just moved and there’s nobody else.”

“Maybe if you called an agency—”

“Let me rephrase,” he spits out. “We can’t afford anyone else. My mom’s the sole breadwinner and she can barely afford my sister’s medical bills. We need time to figure it out.”

“Then... You’re going to miss your classes and hockey indefinitely? You can’t do that.”

“I have to. Newsflash. Not everyone has a rich dad like you.”

I stiffen and say nothing, my stare drifting to the ground. A dull pain throbs at my chest, and I resist the urge to massage it.

God. Caleb’s cracking at the edges and there’s nothing I can do about it. Fuck, I wish he wasn’t so distant these past weeks. I want to reach out and hold him, bury my face in his hair and tell him it’s going to be fine, but I don’t know that, and we haven’t even so much as kissed recently.

I have no fucking clue where we are, and now’s not the right time to ask.

Caleb hikes his bag over his shoulder and slips on his shoes. “Ironic how my little sister can’t even do something as simple as going to a damn game. Then there are people who could do so much with what they have and don’t do shit with it.”

Groaning, I throw my head back. I knew he was still angry with me about that, but is this the right moment to bring it up?

“I’m heading out,” Caleb says to Maddox.

Maddox waves him off. “Go ahead.”

“Wha—Why? You staying here to gossip with Nick?”

“I could do that,” he says bluntly.

Caleb glowers at his friend and works his jaw, then he runs a frustrated hand through his hair and shoves his way past me. Right before he closes the door, he points a finger at Maddox and yells, “Don’t tell him shit!”

He doesn’t even acknowledge me before slamming the door shut.

I lean back against the wall and smile weakly at Maddox. He returns my smile and stares at me from where he’s still sitting, his arms folded across his chest.

I don’t know why he stayed back.

Aside from him being Caleb’s best friend, I don’t know much about him. I’ve always had the impression of him as this confident guy who’s known for being a genius. He majors in math and is a teaching assistant—that’s how smart he is.

“You need to have a lot of patience with Caleb,” he says. “That shouldn’t be hard for you, though, right? You’re the classic nice guy.”

“A doormat is more like it.”

He laughs as if I’m joking. “Seriously, though. Caleb likes you a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this smitten by anyone else, but he’s always had a weird way of managing his temper, so I’m apologizing for him and really hope you don’t give up on him.”

“Isn’t he going to be angry you’re saying all this to me?”

“Maybe, but who cares? Our friendship’s always going to be a sure thing.” Maddox grins. “You, on the other hand… you two are rocky right now. What even happened?”

“It’s my fault.”

He looks at me earnestly. “Go on.”

I walk over to my bed and plop down on it, and Maddox swivels the chair to face me. He’s still wearing Caleb’s jersey, which is huge on his tiny frame—and now that I take a longer look at him, I see what Schultz means when he says Maddox is the prettiest person he’s ever seen.

That he’s wearing Caleb’s jersey says a lot about what their friendship is like. Once, I asked Jessie if she wanted me to order her a jersey with my name, and she scoffed and said that would be tacky. I remember laughing and saying I was kidding, and I didn’t tell her I didn’t think it was tacky at all. Even if it was… who cares?

Maddox doesn’t have any issues wearing Caleb’s jersey. He’s also seems immune to Caleb’s temper, gets along with him, and seems to understand him more than anyone else.

Maybe he’s the one Caleb should be with.

I shake my head, getting rid of those toxic thoughts quickly. I refuse to even go there. “He’s pissed because I have a chance to get into the NHL but I’m not taking a shot.” Before Maddox can react, I quickly add, “My plan was always to work with my dad after college, and he doesn’t understand that. He says I should at least open up the topic to Dad, but… it’s simply not happening.”

“If you don’t mind me asking… why?”

“Because I want to work with my dad.”

He seems surprised. “More than you want to be in the NHL?”

Fuck, that’s exactly what Caleb asked me. I grimace, knowing that the answer is that I definitely want to play in the NHL more.

When I don’t respond, Maddox chuckles humorlessly. “Well, I can see why Caleb’s angry, then. He’s very sensitive about people who don’t seem to appreciate what they have. It has a lot to do with his sister, which he not so subtly said earlier.”

“Yeah, seems about right.”

“Don’t worry. He’ll get over it. Caleb really does like you a lot, Nick.” Maddox gets up and stretches his arms over his head. “He’s a piece of work, but he’s incredible… literally the only jock I can stand, playing the dumbest sport ever.” He pauses and frowns. “Sorry, that’s probably really rude to say to someone on the hockey team.”

I laugh. “That’s fine, I get it. Why do you have something against jocks, though?”

“Well, for one thing, the hockey team back in high school bullied me. They had a problem with me being gay.” Maddox gives me a long look. “It’s why Caleb overreacts when someone gives even a hint of being homophobic.”

He’s talking about the huge misunderstanding Caleb and I had before. “Sorry.”

Maddox shrugs. “Anyway, it was years ago… I hid it from Caleb because those were his teammates, but it got so bad my parents wanted me to transfer schools. When Caleb found out, he was livid. Got into a full-blown fight with the guys on his own team, and one of them came out of it with a broken nose. He got suspended for fighting, but they stopped harassing me.”

“I’ve actually heard about those rumors about him fighting the guys on his own team.”

“Yeah. He got a reputation for being hot-headed and antagonistic, and he rolled with it.”

I cover my smile with my hand, amused because that sounds exactly like something Caleb would do.

“He cares too much for people who are important to him.” Maddox watches me, as if gauging my reaction.

Fuck. The words Caleb said to me echo in my mind— Message received. I’ll stop caring.

“Hey,” I mumble. “You know Caleb’s address, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I—can I have it?”

Maddox’s eyebrows clash together. Maybe he’s trying to figure out if I’ll show up at Caleb’s doorstep like a stalker.

“I’m not heading there,” I say. “But I think I can help him out by looking for someone for his sister.”

“All right. Hand me your phone.”

Maddox types in Caleb’s address. He still seems suspicious of my intentions, and I’m just glad he agreed to give it to me.

Once he’s gone, I call my dad, hoping he’s not busy.

In my whole life, I think I’ve only ever rang Dad three times. When I told Caleb that Dad gave me everything without ever making me feel like shit, that was true—but despite that, I’ve always had the most complicated relationship with him.

“Nicholas?” Dad’s voice asks, slightly panicked. “Everything okay?”

“Hi, Dad. Yeah, um. Everything’s good. Are you free to talk?”

There are other people speaking in the background, and I think he’s in a meeting. I should have texted him. S hit. Dad excuses himself, then I hear a door shutting. He left to go to a quieter room.

“What is it?” Dad asks.

“I need a favor.”

“Anything. Talk to me.”

I take a deep breath and tell him what I need.