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16

Nick

C ongratulations, Nick, you fucked it up again.

The sight of Caleb rushing off to the bathroom as if he’d seen a ghost is enough to make my boner disappear, but it’s a little too late because there’s no way he didn’t see it.

Worse than that, he felt it. Against his back. This would be so much less awkward if I hadn’t been practically holding him down and pressing it against his back.

Seriously, what the fuck’s wrong with me? I’m a mess.

Every time I think me and Caleb are finally getting some groundwork and establishing what could be called a friendship, I do something stupid—like make him think I hate his sexuality or hump him in my sleep. This is all on top of me coming back drunk and pouring my heart out to him and not remembering even half the shit I did or said that night.

I press my pillow against my face and groan. “Oh, my gooood.”

It’s mortifying, and I wish I could blame it on an unfortunate case of morning wood, except that I’m pretty sure I got hard because of Caleb. Because of the smell of his hair, and the warmth of his skin, and how perfectly he fit in my arms. I thought I was dreaming because my half-asleep brain was thinking there was no way Caleb would be in my arms, and that’s why I leaned into the sensation.

And got turned on by it, apparently.

I guess that really means I’m into guys?

I mean… sure, I’ve found some guys attractive, and I may have had the occasional and confusing daydream about it—but I’ve never actually felt the need to unpack that.

Until Caleb happened.

I’m not even sure what it is about him that makes me gravitate towards him. He’s loud, competitive, antagonistic, and aggressive… but he’s also kind, thoughtful, funny, and doesn’t take shit.

He’d never want someone like me. And I just humped him.

After a few minutes wallowing in self-pity, I grab my cellphone and send a quick text to Rhys and Schultz telling them to give back Caleb’s mattress. My amazing friends totally ignore me and instead flood the group chat with messages asking to hang out after practice.

I don’t know how to tell them I’m thinking of not going to practice at all. While I’m at it, might as well drop out of school and disappear, considering I don’t think I can face Caleb ever again. I wonder how difficult it would be to move to another country?

The bathroom door opens and Caleb steps out, and I duck my head and pretend neither of us exists.

Caleb stands there, watching me, and my cheeks heat at his scrutiny.

“It’s fine,” he bites out, voice clipped. “It’s simple biology so let’s not get weird about it. My bed better be back by tonight though, or I swear to god—”

I raise my hand to interrupt him, my other still typing a long-winded text to Rhys and Schultz. “I get it. Already on it.”

“Good.” Caleb grumbles something else under his breath, pulls on his shoes and grabs his bag, and the next thing I hear is the sound of the door shutting behind him.

***

“Please, guys,” I plead. “Give him back the mattress.”

“Not until he apologizes.” Rhys leads the way to Stella’s. I agreed to come here with them after practice only so I could pester them to stop with their silly prank. Unfortunately, Rhys and Schultz are both hell-bent on proving a point.

Caleb, who left the rink before we did after our afternoon practice, is already behind the register. When he spots us, he scowls at both of my friends and flips them off. He was antagonizing them the entire time during practice, too.

“Sup, Jennings!” Schultz salutes him as we make our way towards a booth.

“Fuck off!”

The café isn’t full today, though some heads turn towards us. There are a few laughs, shaking of heads, then they brush it off—probably thinking it was some weird jock thing. I offer to get Rhys and Schultz’s drinks and make my way over to Caleb.

His friend, Maddox, has just arrived as well and is pulling a stool by the bar. Caleb’s already handing him a drink before he’s even sat down.

“Hey there, Maddox,” I murmur.

He nods at me, smiling. “Hey.”

Caleb folds his arms and glares at me as I step up to the register.

“They won’t budge,” I mumble to him after he’s taken our orders. Unsurprisingly, I’m still unable to look at him in the eyes. “Maybe you should just apologize. You don’t even have to mean it, but at least they’ll quit it.”

He hisses, “Apologize for what, exactly?”

“The pranks.”

Caleb leans against the counter and peers at me. “Do they even know what the pranks were for, Nicky?”

I shake my head. “I didn’t want to tell them why we fought.”

“Exactly. It’s none of their business.”

Sighing, I pull out my wallet, but Caleb brushes me away.

“My treat,” he says.

My heart does an odd, swooning motion. “T-thanks.”

When I turn away from the register, I hear Maddox ask Caleb, “What happened? Please don’t tell me you actually started a prank war.”

I slide back into the booth where Rhys and Schultz are watching some hockey clips, and I knock on the table to get their attention. “The bed,” I say.

“Shut uuup,” Schultz groans. “If I hear that word one more time, I’m going to lose my shit.”

“So give it back.”

“Not until he apologizes,” Rhys reiterates for the millionth time. Then his eyebrows clash together as if something in his brain clicks. Rhys frowns and cocks his head at me. “Wait, where did Jennings sleep last night?”

“Huh?” I ask, taken off-guard.

“Where did Jennings—”

“Here you go,” Caleb suddenly interrupts.

Oh, that was quick. I wonder if he started on our usual orders even before we came, like how he does for Maddox. Problem is, he’s only holding one drink. Caleb places an iced latte in front of me then puts his hands on his hips and grins down at our table.

Rhys and Schultz stare at him.

“Where’s ours?” Schultz asks.

He bluntly replies, “I’m refusing service.”

“What the hell?”

“Stop with your bullshit, and I’ll give you your drinks.”

“Uncool. Where’s your manager?” Schultz looks behind Caleb, and suddenly sucks in a breath when he sees… Maddox, I think? “And for the love of god, can you please introduce me to your friend?”

“My manager’s not around.” Frowning, Caleb narrows his eyes. “I’m not introducing you to Maddox.”

“Maddox,” Schultz repeats slowly, gazing at Maddox with an intensity I’ve never seen on him before. “He’s seriously the prettiest person I’ve ever seen in my life. Is he into guys?”

“Save your breath. Maddox doesn’t do jocks.”

“But he’s into guys?”

Caleb doesn’t deny it, though his frown deepens, and he snaps his fingers. “Focus. My bed.”

Rolling his eyes, Rhys says, “God, you’re insufferable.”

“Don’t make me tell my uncle you’re hazing me, because I’m sure he won’t stand for this shit. Bet it’d be a horrible look on you, Captain.”

Rhys scoffs. “We’re not hazing you, dumbass. Literally all you need to do is apologize and you get your stupid bed back, and you’ve done more unhinged shit than this. Also, where’d you sleep last night?”

“Huh?”

“You sleep on the floor?”

Schultz suddenly slams the table, startling all of us. “You slept beside Sandoval, didn’t you?”

“No way.” Rhys clasps a hand over his mouth and laughs. “That’s a punishment all on its own, too. Did he beat you up in your sleep?”

I narrow my eyes at Rhys. “Will you please shut up—”

“Yeah, actually.” Caleb crosses his arms and stares down at Rhys. “How the hell do you share a bed with him? I think I have bruises everywhere.”

Schultz bursts out laughing.

I scrub my hands over my face. “I offered to stay at Rhys’s and you said no!”

Laughing, Rhys says, “The trick is to shove a pillow between you two and if that doesn’t work, just roll him off the bed. He’ll sleep on the floor and won’t even notice.”

“Gee, thanks,” I tell him dryly.

“Does that mean you’re planning on sleeping beside each other again tonight?” Schultz asks.

“Maybe, because I don’t plan on apologizing,” Caleb says, and my heart jumps. I blush and duck my head, suddenly very interested in my drink. Walking backwards, Caleb flips my friends off again . He says, “Need to work. Bye, dipshits.”

He flashes a grin that’s directed only to me, and I don’t like the way Rhys’s eyebrows lift. Cheeks flushed, I pretend not to see my best friend’s inquisitive expression. I snap my attention to the floor-length windows and watch students walking past the café.

“Aww, man,” Schultz suddenly whines.

Rhys asks, “What?”

“Someone’s hitting on the Maddox guy.”

I ignore them, trying to wrap my head around the fact that Caleb might sleep in my bed again, while also trying to come to terms with the fact that he genuinely doesn’t seem bothered by what happened this morning.

It’s messing me up and he doesn’t seem to care.

My mind reels back to how annoyed he sounded when he pushed me off this morning, and how he got out of my bed in a rush. I can’t stop spiraling from the mortification.

“He’s not hitting on Maddox,” Rhys says. “He’s hitting on Jennings.”

My head swivels to where Caleb is and, like Rhys said, a now familiar guy—Dex, the guy Caleb had in our dorm room—is leaning over the bar and talking to Caleb. Maddox is right next to them, though he doesn’t look interested in their conversation, and my gut twists when Dex puts his hand over Caleb’s and laughs.

I see red. Why do I see red?

“You good, Nick?” Rhys asks, studying me closely.

“Yes,” I mumble, looking away from the flirting that’s going on and instead focusing on Schultz. He hasn’t stopped staring at Maddox since he first noticed him. I’ve always found this aspect of Schultz incredibly impressive. He sees someone he finds interesting, and he doesn’t hide it.

Unlike me, who can never voice what I want.

And it’s getting really hard denying to myself that what I want is Caleb, because I can’t stop thinking about last night—how his throat bobbed every time I stared at his lips, how he kept smiling at me, and how soft he spoke while we were in the darkness of our room.

And how he sagged in my hold this morning—right before he bolted.

I go silent again and stare at my hands.

In my peripheral vision, Caleb and Dex are still speaking.

Is that his type? Dex is taller and bulkier than me, and now that I’ve had the chance to get a closer look at him, I recognize him from one of my classes and some parties Jessie’s dragged me to. He’s friendly, charismatic, and popular with both men and women. Everyone must want someone like him—and Caleb probably agrees, judging from how he’s not pulling away from his touch.

Unlike how he pried me off him this morning.

Someone nudges my foot, and I blink at Rhys. He cocks his head at me. As usual, he’s perfectly in tune with me and knows when my thoughts are clouding me.

“Nick?” he asks.

“The bed,” I say, my voice clipped. “Put his bed back, guys. I know you want him to apologize, but it was my fault, and we’ve hashed it out. The pranks were because we fought, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

Because it’s humiliating.

I don’t want to tell them how I accidentally made Caleb feel bad for who he is, and I also don’t want them to know about how I spilled my heart out to him in a drunken stupor.

“Give him the damn bed back,” I repeat harshly, and my friends exchange puzzled looks with each other. Before they can say anything else, I tack on, “I’m going to head back.”

“Take your coffee,” Rhys reminds me, and I grab the latte that Caleb made too sweet for me, because he knows that’s how I enjoy it.

Because he’s thoughtful like that. Honestly, Caleb can be really nice, and I may just be obsessed with having him as a friend.

Still, our friendship’s rocky, and I can’t afford to let it crash over something nonsensical like a missing bed.