Page 23 of You've Found Oliver

“Did you forget about me?”

Petals fall from the sky as I slowly open my eyes.

But I don’t have to look to know whose voice that is.

I would recognize his voice anywhere. I turn my head anyway.

Sam is lying in the grass beside me, waiting for a response.

We stare at each other for a moment. When I don’t answer, he repeats the question.

“I said, did you forget about me?”

“Of course not,” I say finally. “How could you ask that?”

“Because I haven’t seen you lately. And I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” You know I do.

Sam smiles as petals continue to fall. He puts his arms behind his head and looks up at the sky. “It’s been a while since we’ve been out here, huh?”

I push myself up with one arm, taking in the view around us. We’re lying out by the lake again, surrounded by flowers. It’s only the two of us out here.

Eventually, Sam looks at me again. “Remember when we snuck out of school to go for a swim?”

“Which time?”

“The first one. You got us in so much trouble.”

“Me? It was your idea.”

Sam laughs, facing the sky again. “Maybe you’re right. My memory’s a little fuzzy. I really miss those days though. I miss a lot of things. Do you still come here a lot?”

“Not as much as before.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re not here anymore…”

“That’s not true,” he says. “I’ll always be here.”

I don’t say anything else back. I just take in this moment we have together. It feels like old times again. Part of me knows this is a dream. But I don’t want it to end yet. So I lie back down and stare at the clouds with him.

Sam turns his head. “So you really miss me?”

It’s just like him to keep asking. “More than you could know, Sam.”

He smiles at me and stares out at the water. Then he asks, “Wasn’t there something you wanted to tell me?”

At first, I’m not sure what he’s talking about.

Then I remember the last time we saw each other.

We stood near the cliff during the night of the bonfire.

I was about to tell him that I loved him.

But he left before I got the chance. Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if he stayed a moment longer. Maybe he would still be alive.

“I don’t know if that matters anymore,” I answer.

“How come?”

“Because it’s too late now.”

A strong wind rolls through us, ruffling the leaves above us. Then the clouds begin to darken, casting shadows along the water. “Looks like we’ll have to leave soon,” Sam says. “But I want to show you something first…”

Sam rises to his feet, and heads for the trees. I get up to follow after him.

“Sam, wait—”

I have no idea where he’s leading me. I just follow along, taking careful steps as we move through the trees.

The light is fading faster than usual. By the time we break through the other side, it’s completely dark out.

The mist fades, revealing a field of grass that stretches toward a night sky.

It takes me a few seconds to realize where we are.

We’re standing at the city limit, where Ellensburg is set apart from the rest of the world.

Every now and then, Sam and I would walk out here.

Mostly when we were tired of school, home, and everything else.

We would stand at this very line, talking about our plans to leave someday.

Then we would cross over it together. I watch as Sam steps toward the line, pausing just short of it.

He stares down at the grass and back at me.

Then he slowly raises his foot into the air as if to take a big step forward.

But he doesn’t, he just lowers his foot back down. “Guess this is as far as I can go, huh?” Then he looks at me, eyes twinkling. “But you can still leave.”

I stare down at my shoes, unsure this time. I can feel him watching me. I know he’s waiting for me to try it next. So I step forward, crossing the line without him. The temperature drops a little, sending a slight chill through me.

“There you go.” Sam stands there with his hands in his pockets. Then he smiles and says, “You’ll have to let me know what’s on the other side.”

I don’t say anything. I look ahead, staring out at the field of grass, taking in the line of mountains in the distance, the moon hanging over it. When I finally turn back around, Sam is gone.

Just like that.

I’m alone again.

What if I don’t want to go any farther? What if I want everything back the way it was?

I used to dream about him all the time. Particularly on the nights I felt most alone.

I would close my eyes and find him waiting for me again.

Some of them feel more real than others, especially ones like this.

Part of me thinks it’s really him in the dream.

Maybe it’s a place we can meet between our worlds.

Or maybe it’s just my imagination and I’m sitting by myself at the lake.

But the dreams are happening less these days. I’m not ready to lose him yet.