Page 22 of You've Found Oliver

“Wanna listen to some music?”

Ben lights a candle on the coffee table and lifts the lid of the record player. The place is smaller than I remember. There’s a fire escape directly outside the window that’s cracked open. I stare at the laundromat across the street and say, “I didn’t notice the view before.”

“Yeah, it’s not much to look at.”

“I’d take this over a roommate any day.”

“For sure.” Ben opens the drawer beneath the television, revealing a modest record collection. “There’s no one to complain about my music taste. Except for the woman upstairs occasionally. Are you feeling something upbeat or moody?”

“Have anything from the Velvet Underground?”

Ben smiles. “Unfortunately, no. But I have Joni Mitchell.”

“Ooh, which album?”

“Court and Spark.” He holds up the cover to show me.

“I don’t think I’ve heard that one.”

“Allow me to indoctrinate you.” Ben moves the needle and puts the record on the turntable.

“This thing can be a little wonky.” He hits the side of the record player.

The sound of a piano slowly fills the apartment.

“There we go.” Ben turns around and smiles warmly.

Then he grabs the bag of snacks we picked up earlier and hands me my drink.

“Thanks.” I open the can and take a sip.

Then I take another look around the room.

I didn’t notice all the Polaroids on the wall last time.

Probably because I was half asleep. I walk around the sofa to get a closer look.

There are dozens of them that must have been taken over the years.

It reminds me of the one I keep of me and Sam.

I find a funny one of Ben holding his tennis racket to his face.

He’s looking through it like a chain-link fence.

I stare at it and say, “When did you stop playing tennis again? You definitely still have the muscle for it.”

“You think so?” Ben flexes his right arm.

“Stop showing off.”

He laughs. Then he comes over to see which photo I’m looking at.

“I honestly miss it sometimes. It was hard to juggle with school and everything. Maybe I’d have a better social life if I managed both.

But I probably wouldn’t have time to sleep.

You’re actually my first guest here. Besides my parents, of course. ”

“I’m honored.”

“Actually—”

Ben disappears into the bedroom for a second. Then he comes out with a camera. “I was planning on making this a tradition. You can be the first guest photo on the wall.” He turns the camera on and holds it eye level. “Are you ready?”

“What should I do?”

“Just act natural.”

“Okay. But make sure it’s cute.”

“You always look cute,” he assures me.

Of course, this makes me smile. Ben takes a picture of me sitting on the sofa, pretending to read a magazine. The Polaroid immediately prints from the camera. Ben hands it to me and says, “It takes a few minutes to develop.”

“You don’t have to shake it?”

“That actually ruins the photo.”

I gasp. “They’ve been lying to us?”

Ben lets me pick my spot on the wall. “Perfect,” he says, and tapes it down.

We step back together, taking another look at the wall. It really adds life to the apartment. “How long have you had the camera?”

“It belonged to my brother,” Ben says. “He had it for as long as I can remember. It’s just been sitting in his room since he died, so I decided to take it with me.”

“Do you have a picture of him?”

“Yeah.” Ben points to another photo. “That’s him there.”

I lean forward to see better. It’s a picture of them together as kids. They’re standing in a kitchen wearing matching blue sweaters. His brother’s arm is around Ben’s shoulders.

“His name was Peter,” Ben says.

“You told me before. He sort of looks like you.”

“I don’t have a lot of photos of us, to be honest.”

“Well, this is one is perfect,” I say.

Joni Mitchell’s voice continues to fill the apartment.

Ben pours the snacks onto the table for us to share.

Then we sit on the couch together, enjoying the music.

He knows practically all of the lyrics, repeating them to me like lines of poetry.

It’s a pretty short album. So we put on Clouds next, which is my personal favorite.

But I’m more focused on how close we’re sitting, the way our legs and shoulders touch occasionally.

The way our eyes meet when he turns his head.

When the conversation quiets, I finally decide to ask, “How come I haven’t seen your room yet? ”

“That’s a good question.”

I smile as he rises to his feet. Then he holds out a hand and pulls me up as well.

It’s dark when we enter the bedroom. Ben turns on a desk lamp, casting the room in a soft pink glow.

It’s a small room, large enough for a full-size bed and a single nightstand.

There’s not a lot of décor, except a few baseball hats hanging on the wall.

“It’s not much to look at,” Ben says.

“No, it’s cozy. It’s giving—” I pause to think of the right words. “Straight-college-guy minimal chic.”

“I’ll take that, I guess.”

At least there’s a small window in here. “Do you get a lot of light in the morning?”

“Not really. But I sit on the fire escape sometimes.”

I glance at the time on my phone. I’m not sure when the last bus leaves tonight.

At one point, the music ends. Ben heads out to replace the record.

My thoughts run together—he hasn’t told me to leave yet…

. Does he want to go back to the living room?

…Is he waiting for me to make a decision?

Eventually, I sit down on his bed and lean back a little.

Ben returns to the room. He looks at me for a moment, then sits beside me.

The music pours through the doorway. I like how soft the lamplight is here. Especially the way it hits his skin. The definition of Ben’s shoulders really comes through in his white T-shirt. He looks at me and says, “How do you feel about this album? Because I can change it to something else.”

“I like it. Let’s enjoy it from right here.”

We both lie down and stare at the ceiling as the next song comes on. Then we turn to face each other.

“Is it okay if I stay over again?”

“I was already assuming you would,” he says, looking at me. “But you don’t have to sleep on the couch if you don’t want to.”

“I didn’t mind it. But the bed is more comfortable.”

Ben smiles. “You know, you never told me what the winner gets.”

I almost forgot about that. “I’m still deciding.”

“You’re really taking your time.”

“I mean, what’s the rush?”

Ben stares at me, eyes shining. Then he runs a hand through my hair. “I didn’t say this earlier, but I was worried I might not see you again. I don’t know what I would have done if that happened. This whole thing is so weird, right?”

“If I’m being honest, I’m surprised you haven’t run off yet,” I admit. “Even I’m having trouble believing it.”

“I’m here till the bitter end.” He touches my nose playfully. “Even if you are making this all up.”

“That would be a funny way to get your attention.”

“It really would, considering you already had it.” He smiles again. “Why else would I have skipped lab and driven two hours to see you?”

“That would be silly.”

“There is something else though. Something that makes me believe all this.”

“What is it?”

“That first night we met at the diner, when we couldn’t find each other.” He pauses for a moment. “I was standing outside and then you appeared out of nowhere. I thought I was crazy for a second. I guess it all makes sense now.”

The past two weeks replay in my head. “At the very least, I hear trauma bonding really connects people.”

Ben brushes his finger across my cheek. “I think we’ve both gone through more traumatic things. This is just something we can’t explain right now.”

“Like a lot of things in the universe, right?”

“Exactly.” Then he glances at my bracelet. “Where did you get this from?”

I always forget I’m wearing it. “Oh. Sam gave it to me.”

He touches it. “I like it. Do you still have a lot of his stuff?”

“I wouldn’t say a lot. But a few things.”

He’s quiet for a moment, like he’s thinking about something. “Can I ask you another question about him? I’m not sure if it’s too personal.” He waits for a nod from me to continue. “Were you two ever more than friends?”

“What makes you ask that?”

“When you were still texting Sam, you said that you loved him.”

This catches me off guard. I keep forgetting about all those messages. “We were best friends. I told you that.”

“Did you want it to be more?”

I feel like he already knows the answer.

“Maybe. It doesn’t really matter anymore.

” I never thought I’d admit that to anyone.

But it doesn’t feel like Ben is judging me.

I feel like I can trust him. “We did kiss once though. Only once. It happened a long time ago. I’ve never told anyone. Not even Julie.”

“Do you think it would bother her?”

“I don’t think so. It happened before they met. She knows we’d been friends forever. And I’ve told her a lot of other things. I think I’m allowed to have one secret.” Maybe she even has one, too, I think.

Ben nods. “That’s fair.”

“What about you? Do you have any secrets?”

He takes a moment. “Ask me again later.”

“Okay. I will.”

The song changes from the living room. Ben takes my hand, intertwining our fingers. “Let me know if you’re tired,” he says.

“I’m wide awake.”

He smiles. “I’m glad you came over.”

“Me too. Hopefully, I won’t disappear on you again.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not taking my eyes off you this time.”

“If you keep staring at me like that, I might just get stuck here.”

“Would that be so bad?”

I think about it. “Not necessarily. I mean, it’s only six months, right? I wouldn’t mind redoing a few things. Maybe bring my grades up.”

“That’s the first I’ve heard you talk about grades.”

“Hey.” I push him playfully. “We can’t all be perfect.”

“Is that a nice way of calling me a nerd?”

We smile at each other. In the living room, the song “Both Sides Now” is playing. Ben turns his ear toward it and says, “My favorite song of hers.”

“Mine too.”

I’m not sure if that was true before. But it will be now. I stare into his deep brown eyes. I’m not going to miss my chance this time. I hope he’s thinking the same thing I am.

“Ben,” I whisper.

“Yeah?”

“I think I’ve decided what the winner gets.”

He waits for me to continue. But I don’t say anything else. I just lean forward until I feel his lips against mine. A rush of warmth passes between us. Like sunlight on skin.

We fall asleep in each other’s arms.