Page 28 of Write Me For You
Jesse
“ I ’d forgotten what the outside world looks like,” I said, as I took in the sprawling sight of Zilker Park. To get us out of the ranch before we started phase two of the trial, Neenee had organized a trip to Zilker Park in downtown Austin for the day.
I loved the ranch. They really did have everything there for us. But just being here, out in public and doing something normal, was very much needed. We’d been living in our bubble now for what seemed like an age. It was actually strange to see other people going about their day.
“You make us sound like we’ve just escaped a cult compound or something,” Chris said, and I smiled. The sun felt good on my face.
Emma unlinked her arm from June’s and said, “Stand back, everybody. There’re sporty, half-naked boys everywhere I look, and I have a feeling my soulmate might be in this park somewhere.”
Chris pretended to gag. “Em, please, for the love of all that’s holy, I cannot face seeing you flirt today. The next lot of immunotherapy is gonna make me plenty sick soon enough. I don’t need you to add to it.”
Emma lifted her hand to her ear. “Did anyone else hear that annoying buzzing sound?” She shrugged. “Oh.” She looked at Chris. “It was just your whining voice.”
June giggled, and I pulled off my shirt and tucked it in my shorts. Neenee would kill me if she saw me. We were under strict rules to keep covered at all times. We weren’t allowed much sun exposure because of the meds, but I had to do it to make my joke work. My comedy deserved the sacrifice.
I pointed at Chris. “Emma, I’m offended,” I said. “Me and my boy here are sporty AF and walk around half-naked a ton at the ranch. Have we not been an absolute feast for your eyes these past couple of months?”
Emma gagged this time. “Now I’m nauseous. Thanks, Jesse.” Emma looked at me, studying my body. “Okay, I’ll concede. You’re hot, Jesse, you know you are. June waxes lyrical about it all the time?—”
“What?!” June said, shocked, cheeks quickly blazing. “No, I don’t!”
“Junebug!” I said and pulled her back when she playfully tried to walk off. “Tell me more about how hot you find me.”
June’s lips pinched as she tried to not find humor in the moment. “No, thanks,” she said mock moodily.
I winked at Emma. “Thank you for that information about my girl, Emma.” I threw my arms around June’s shoulders and kissed her cheek. “It is most useful.” June eventually reached up, held my wrists, and sank into my chest.
“But a feast you are not,” Emma continued, now speaking to Chris. “More like an average appetizer that never quite satisfies.”
“Ohh, burn,” I muttered, as Chris narrowed his eyes at Emma.
“You’re lucky I love you, Em,” he said.
“Love you too,” Emma sang, and scanned the field again.
There was a lot of people here. Groups playing frisbee, some chilling on blankets and baking under the sun.
Some were running, and in the distance, I saw a couple of guys throwing a football back and forth.
I threw my shirt back on, knowing I did have to be careful not to get burned, and sunblock could only do so much. I wrapped my arms around June again.
Suddenly, June stiffened in my arms as Emma said, “This is what it must feel like to be famous.” I frowned, then I realized people were looking at us.
I guessed it was obvious that we were all in cancer treatment.
The girls wore headscarves while Chris’s and my ballcaps didn’t exactly hide that we were hairless too.
I had seen Silas, Cherry, Toby and Kate walk off in the other direction, so all attention was solely on us.
It had never bothered me before—didn’t now. I’d always been confident in how I looked. But feeling June shrink in my hold showed me just how vulnerable the attention was making her.
I put my mouth to her ear. “Are you okay, baby?”
She turned in my arms and tucked herself into my chest. If she could have disappeared, I’m sure she would have in that moment. “I hate attention,” she said. I knew June felt insecure at times, but I was surprised by just how much she didn’t like eyes on her.
“Junebug,” I said, “I’ve got you.”
Chris seemed as unbothered by people’s curious glances as I was. People weren’t being malicious. More than anything, it seemed like sympathy that was bring projected our way. I wrapped my arms around June, hiding her from the world.
“Let’s go find somewhere private,” I said to my friends.
Emma pointed to a large cropping of trees in the distance, not too far from the guys playing football. “There, it’s pretty empty and the trees will protect us from the sun.”
“Anyone else feel like Bubble Boy?” Chris said.
It was an accurate comparison. As much as we were getting this day to get a break from the ranch, we still had a list of rules we had to follow.
Chris carried a cooler full of meds and bottles of the orange sludge that we had to take at various times today.
Neenee and Bailey were also here with us, along with a couple of nurses we had to check in with several times a day.
June kept her head tucked into my chest as we walked. She didn’t look up until the crowds of people thinned out. “You can come out now,” I said into June’s ear.
She cautiously lifted her head and looked around us. Seeing I was telling the truth, she exhaled. “That was awful,” she said, her tight voice carrying the stress the attention had brought to her.
Emma reached out and took hold of June’s hand. “You really don’t like attention, huh?”
June shook her head. “I never have.” Her expression was earnest. “I’m not completely introverted, but being in the limelight just makes me shudder.”
Chris frowned. “You know you’re dating Jesse Taylor, right?” He put his hand on my shoulder. My stomach fell.
June’s eyebrows were pulled down in confusion. “Okay?”
Chris balked. “June, you’re from Texas. Surely you know what kind of attention a quarterback gets. Especially one as good as my main man here. He’s Jesse Taylor . A once-in-a-generation-type player.”
June looked up at me, but I could feel the tension still thrumming in her body.
Her brown eyes searched mine, but what could I say?
Chris was telling the truth. If we got through phase two— when we got through phase two—and I managed to make it to UT and play for the Longhorns, the attention I received would be… a lot.
“I guess I never thought about it,” June said, her voice suddenly guarded. I hated how it sounded.
“It’ll be fine, baby,” I said, trying to reassure her. But I could see a seed of doubt had been planted in her head, and her obvious apprehension didn’t sit well with me.
“If anyone gives you shit, June, just call me. I’ll come down and whoop their asses for messing with my girl,” Emma said, making June smile.
June exhaled, but I couldn’t say that I wasn’t shook by her reaction.
We were determined to make it, to take our 10 percent and turn it into 100, but now I was a little worried about what came after.
My priority was getting to UT with my girl.
Playing for the Longhorns and getting to the NFL was a close second.
Every day, I told myself I would get there.
I never even entertained that June and playing football wouldn’t mesh.
“Taylor?”
The sound of my surname being called from somewhere to my left pulled me from my thoughts.
A wide smile spread on my face when I saw that Matthew Banks, a guy from my high school, was heading toward us. “Banks?” I said, and June stepped away so I could go speak to him.
“We’ll head to the trees,” Chris said, and June, Emma and Chris kept walking, settling under the shade of the trees across the field.
“Shit, bro!” Banks said as he reached me. He held out his hand. I took it and he pulled me in and slapped me on my back. Banks was a year older than me, a linebacker, who now played for UT.
When he pulled back, his smile faltered as his gaze swept over me. Sympathy flooded his expression, and my stomach rolled. For a second, I understood how June had felt when she’d caught people watching us.
“How are you doing?” His hand squeezed my arm. “I heard you were sick. I’m so sorry, Jesse. That sucks. I guess that’s why Coach recruited another QB in your place.”
My entire fucking world seemed to stop.
“I can’t believe I won’t be playing with you next year,” Banks said, and my vision shimmered as his words sank into my brain. Coach recruited another QB in your place…
That wasn’t true, was it? I hadn’t been told anything about it. My mom hadn’t said anything, neither had my coach from back in McIntyre. Every strain of muscle in my body began to tighten until it ached.
Clearing my throat, I said, “I still intend to come to UT.”
Banks stilled. “In the future?” He frowned like I was speaking another language.
I shook my head, feeling myself begin to unravel. My hands began shaking.
Coach recruited another QB in your place…
“No, this year,” I said, and Banks’s gaze swept over me again.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I was told…I was told you’d gone to a hospice.”
“I didn’t,” I said, a bite to my voice. I was never an asshole, but I knew I sounded like one in that moment.
“I’m in a clinical drug trial. I’m gonna get better.
And I’m gonna play for UT.” I didn’t care if my new coach had recruited another QB; there were always a few recruited. I’d still rise to the top.
Banks was quiet again. Then said, “Preseason is brutal, man.” I stared at him, but I felt like I wasn’t in the moment. My heart was slamming in my chest, my hands were clenching into fists and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“I know,” I said absently.
Banks looked behind him, and I saw a guy I recognized. Jason Williams. He was a UT defensive tackle. He was watching me and Banks with curiosity. His face…I realized he thought he was watching a walking dead man. A QB star that should have had it all until cancer came and ripped it all away.