Page 21 of Write Me For You

June

A few weeks later…

“ Y ou’ve already finished?” Chris asked, mouth agape. “Impossible!”

“Guess that’s the perk of being a nerd, huh, Chris?” Emma said sassily, and I laughed as Chris batted her hand to shoo her away. It looked like he and Jesse still had several pages of the assignment to go.

As I passed Jesse, he held out his hand and took hold of mine. “Come here, bookworm.” Jesse pulled me in and tilted his head up for a kiss. Our lips pressed together and only Emma pulling me away by my other hand broke me from Jesse’s mouth.

“I’m stealing your girlfriend for a couple of hours. I’m sick of you monopolizing her,” she said. “It’s my turn with her now. Best friend privileges.”

“You get BFF hour every night,” Jesse argued.

Emma flapped her hand in dismissal. “And I thought I’d get more than an hour! But you came along and swept her off her feet.” Emma gestured with her head to Chris. “Meanwhile, I get this one to entertain me when you sequester June.”

“Hey!” Chris said, in complaint.

Jesse playfully gestured to his body. He wore his usual T-shirt and jeans. “Junebug can’t help it, Em. She can never resist me when I look this good.” Jesse was messing around, but his words had never been truer. I fell for him harder and harder every day.

Emma pretended to gag, and Jesse winked at me as we left the education room.

As promised, classes had started, but they were flexible. We couldn’t exactly write papers when we could barely move off our beds. But just like Chemo Club, our foursome had decided to do it together and that had helped us immensely.

“Should we just go to your room? It’s closer,” Emma said, heading down the hallway, linking her arm in mine. We mostly hung out in Emma’s room, as it was closer to the kitchen and the rec room.

“Sure,” I said. As we walked, I replayed what she had said about not spending as much time with her as she wanted.

It made me feel guilty. I adored Emma and loved spending time with her.

But she wasn’t wrong; I did spend a crazy amount of time with Jesse.

Especially of late. But now, it was my plan to make even more time for her.

As we entered my room, she stopped dead as she saw the picture Jesse had drawn of me and Ginger on my wall. My mama had bought me a rustic wooden frame to protect it, and it hung opposite my bed, so I saw it every time I laid down.

“Erm…who drew this?” she asked. In the beginning, I’d kept Jesse’s drawings to myself. But the more he drew, the more I believed they needed to be seen.

“Jesse,” I replied, and Emma’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“Well…damn. Guess he’s not just football brawn and terrible jokes.”

I laughed and waved her over to my bed. I switched on the TV, ready to continue the series we’d been streaming.

Emma made herself comfortable beside me, but her eyes kept drifting back to the pictures. “How are they so lifelike?” she asked, and I paused the episode that had just started playing. “It’s so detailed, it could be a photograph.” Emma’s eyes narrowed. “Are we sure it’s not photoshopped?”

“Emma!” I said, tapping her hand in admonishment.

“What?” she said, playfully pushing me away. “It’s just we’ve been here awhile now, see each other every day, and I’ve never seen him draw.”

I shrugged. “He does it in private. He sketches most nights while I write.” Only a silence met me. When I looked up at Emma, her eyebrows were raised.

“Oh, we’re talking more about this ,” she said.

“At night? At night? When at night?” Heat rushed to my face as I realized what I’d said.

“Oh, no,” Emma said. “Don’t go all bashful on me now, princess, not when you’re running around in the midnight hours with your beau. ” Emma batted her eyes, teasing.

I hadn’t meant to say it, and I didn’t keep secrets from Emma. But…I didn’t know. I supposed my and Jesse’s time outside, when the world was asleep, seemed like our personal slice of time, when it was just him and I and the art that made our hearts sing.

“My beau?” I cackled at that.

“I’m waiting,” Emma said when I didn’t answer her actual question.

The truth was, I found myself now wanting to share this with Emma.

If I was honest about why, it would be because sometimes, I couldn’t believe that it was true.

Why was Jesse so drawn to me? I felt like he could have any girl he wanted.

And as much as I tried to understand that it was me he was falling for, there was a barrier of insecurity that still made me doubt why.

“We sit outside every night,” I said, feeling Emma’s impatience. “The few times we haven’t is when one of us has been hit badly by the treatment.” I flicked my eyes to hers. “And even then, we sneak into the other’s room, so we can be there for the other.”

“June Mary Scott, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

I stilled and met Emma’s blue eyes. “My middle name isn’t Mary.”

Emma flapped a hand in front of her face. “That’s of no consequence. I’m only interested in you and Jesse.” Her head tilted to the side as she regarded me. “Anyone can see how close you are. So do you see it lasting beyond Harmony?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said. I knew it was true for both Jesse and me. It was pathetic how gone for that boy I was. “I can’t explain it,” I confessed to Emma. “I don’t know if it’s because of the position we’re all in being here, being terminal, but everything is amplified.”

“I get what you mean,” Emma said. “Like everything just feels more . The sun seems brighter now. The heat more intense. Your favorite smells are sweeter.”

“Yes,” I said. I stared at the sketch on my wall, the one of my face.

Jesse actually saw me like that. When I looked in the mirror, that wasn’t the girl in the reflection.

Jesse’s picture made me look…beautiful. I could barely believe that was how I looked to him: beautiful .

I had never thought of myself that way, but his sketches showed me me through his eyes, and it was beautiful.

“Em?” I said, and Emma met my eyes. My gaze dropped and my heart raced at what I was about to ask. I hadn’t told anyone of my insecurities, but I loved Emma. She truly was the best friend I’d always dreamed of. And I knew she wouldn’t judge. “Do…do you think I’m… enough , for Jesse?”

Emma stared at me in silence a touch too long. I looked down at my hand. It still felt like it was mine. “June,” Emma said, pulling me from my stupor. “Please look at me.”

I did as she asked and felt my throat clog up.

Emma’s face was serious. She looked fierce, when she said, “I mean what I’m about to say and you need to hear this: you are point-blank the best girlfriend I have ever had.

You are sweet and kind and have the inner strength of an entire Roman legion.

” Tears filled my eyes and Emma took hold of my hands.

She gripped on tightly. “And you are stunning,” she said, emphatically.

“Beautiful, utterly gorgeous, banging .”

I laughed through my tears as she listed those off.

Emma sobered and said, “I’ve seen how you look at yourself, babe. I know you didn’t swim that day before treatment because you don’t like how you look. But I am a brutally honest person—just ask Chris. And I am telling you, you’re a fucking ten.”

I laughed again, and Emma released one of my hands to wipe the tears from my cheek.

She tipped her head. “Do you believe me?”

I breathed deeply. “I’m trying to,” I said.

“I was never one to care that much about my looks. But when I lost my hair and my skin reacted to the treatment and the steroids changed my body and everything else that comes with fighting cancer…” I shrugged.

“I guess I lost my confidence somewhere along the way.”

“I understand. I have days where I feel like that too.”

“You do?” I asked. Emma always seemed so sure of herself. “I never would have guessed.”

“How could I not? For all those reasons you’ve just listed. But…” Emma trailed off.

“But what?” I said, clinging to her every word.

She smiled. “But I know my worth and what I’ve fought to still be here, on this earth, breathing. And that reminds me of what I’ve always known.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

Emma’s smile turned into a grin. “That I’m fucking fabulous.”

I laughed—I laughed so hard that Emma joined in and we faced each other on the pillows.

When our laughter faded, Emma said, “Jesse adores you, June. I mean, look!” She pointed to all his drawings.

“I imagine his previous girlfriends were cheerleaders with perfect hair,” I said, feeling my chest squeeze. My insecurities were still there.

“But they weren’t you, and it’s you who he adores.”

“I often wonder, though, that if it wasn’t for us both being here at the ranch, would he have ever even looked at me? And that worries me,” I confessed.

“Babe, that boy would tackle everyone in the world to find you if he’d known you were out there.”

“I’m pretty sure quarterbacks don’t tackle,” I said, fighting a smile, but feeling my soul being soothed by this talk.

Emma rolled her eyes at me. “Then I’m sure he’d make an exception.” Emma dropped a kiss on my cheek, and said, “Face it, June, Jesse Taylor is gone for you. You have that boy whipped.” My body filled with warmth.

Before I knew it, words were spilling from my mouth.

“When I met him, it was like I felt a shimmer in the very fabric of the universe. Like, wow, I think I’ve just found my person.

” I paused and met Emma’s gaze. “You know the meaning of soulmates? The story that God split a being into two and they had to find one another on earth again?”

“Yeah,” Emma said softly.

“It feels like that for me. Yes, it’s quick.

But a month ago, we all thought we were going to die.

We might still. We don’t exactly have the luxury of taking our time to find happiness.

” I smiled to myself. “And with Jesse, I’m not sure I would have been able to not fall for him so fast, even if we were well. ”

“You love him,” Emma said—not a question but a statement.

“I’m falling for him, Emma. So hard,” I confessed.

She launched forward, knocking me back on the bed. “I can’t breathe!” I said as she wrapped me up tightly.

“I don’t care,” she said, planting another kiss on my cheek. “I’m just so happy for you.”

I playfully pushed her off me. Emma cackled, then righted herself on the pillows. “So what about you?” I asked. “Do you like Chris?”

“As a friend,” Emma said firmly, and I knew that was true. They were platonically perfect for one another, but there didn’t seem to be any spark of romance. Emma went quiet, then said, “In all seriousness, June, I hope I get what you have one day. It would be nice to know what it feels like.”

“You will,” I said, squeezing her hand. Emma stared out of my window, lost in thought. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?” I asked after a couple of silent minutes.

“Yeah,” she said. “I know Neenee and Dr. Duncan said to try and be positive, but it’s hard to always stay in that space, often detrimental as I just want to feel what I’m going through without the forced optimism.

Sometimes, I can’t help but worry the treatment won’t be working.

I want to feel the fear, the dread. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been told that before, hence why we’re here. We’re not unused to bad news.”

“I know,” I said, running my thumb over the back of her palm.

“But I’m trying my best to only imagine the good things from now on.

And that is helping me. This has helped me.

More than you know.” I smiled at Emma, and she returned it.

“And I see us all in the future, still best friends. You visiting me at UT and telling me you’ve met that boy you hoped for and are madly in love. ”

“That sounds nice,” Emma said, and her eyes glazed over a little. “In fact, it sounds perfect.”