Page 5 of Wrap Around (Forbidden Goals #7)

GIDEON

Silas bolts from the locker room like he's got a fire under him.

I know where he's going before I follow him, and sure enough, I find him out in the hall with his arms wrapped around my sister.

He's holding her tight like he's afraid she might disappear.

He spins her around, and she laughs, face tilted back like it's the first time she's felt joy in too long.

Likewise, Silas looks relieved, like he hasn't breathed in days or weeks or months, or however long it's been since they were together last.

I saw Lily in the arena, sitting behind the team box with the other wives and families.

She tried to wave, but I avoided eye contact with her like it might burn me.

We've talked very little over the last three years, mostly just over email.

It hurts too much to see her face, to know she's living the life I once dreamed of having.

Well, not exactly, but she has him—The man gazing at her like she's solely responsible for the sun rising each day. For him, it's clear that's the truth.

Then he looks down and gasps, reaching down to lift the baby into the air.

Adaline .

My niece that I've only ever seen pictures of.

"Dada!" she yells, delighted.

He throws her high in the air and catches her, presses loud raspberries to her neck until she's shrieking with giggles.

Then he kisses her chubby cheeks, her forehead, her nose, everywhere he can land his loud smacking kisses, like he can't get enough.

She squeals, tiny hands gripping the collar of his shirt.

"Addy! I missed you so much! Have you been good for your mama?"

The genuine love between the three of them cuts through me like a knife.

I love my sister. Always have. We were close, always covering and protecting each other from our parent's stern wrath.

Even knowing they've been married for the last three years, knowing that they had a baby together and have been together since we were all in our early teens, before we started public school, it's surreal to see them this way.

Even though they were together, they never acted like it.

We were always a trio back then, just three best friends being idiots together.

There was never even a moment that I think I really considered that they were truly together, really boyfriend and girlfriend, because they never acted differently when I was around.

I never saw any sort of public affection, no hand holding or stolen glances. Nothing.

Mostly, I thought it was the church that kept them that way. We were all expected to save ourselves for marriage, after all. And none of us really knew much about the activities we were saving ourselves from. We were innocent. Ignorant. Na?ve.

I never once imagined they were together physically. I never even considered if they kissed each other, much less had sex. It was unfathomable back then.

But now… I can't stop thinking about our kiss .

Did he kiss her like that back then? Does she know?

Does he touch her with that same fire that made my bones feel like they were melting?

Does he make her feel the way he made me feel that day on the bank of the lake, when my entire world imploded and I tasted something I hadn't realized I was starving for?

The thought makes my stomach twist and my chest tight.

I don't want to imagine it. I don't want to think about him whispering the same things, touching her the same way, giving her the same kind of pleasure he gave me.

But the images come anyway, uninvited and cruel.

The way he leaned in, tugging me closer like he couldn't stand for us to be even a breath apart.

The way his mouth found mine. The way his lips moved against mine with confidence, with heat, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Like he'd done it before.

I trusted him. I fell into the moment, trusted him to lead me into temptation, to show me what it could be like to be wanted and touched.

To be seen by the one man I'd loved for as long as I could remember.

I let him take the reins because I didn't know how and never considered that it was strange that he was so confident.

That he seemed to know what he was doing.

It wasn't until much later that it occurred to me he'd clearly had experience. He knew what he was doing. Was it because he'd practiced with her? Was he that sure of himself because he'd already put his hands on someone before? Because he'd already crossed that line with my own fucking sister?

The thought makes me sick. It coils in my gut and burns its way up the back of my throat, my fury heating my face and balling my fists.

A small gasp pulls me out of my spiral, and I look up to see Lily running towards me before I can turn away. She throws her arms around my neck and pulls me in close. I don't hug her back right away, but when I do, I probably squeeze her too hard and don't let go for too long.

When she finally pulls back, her eyes are glassy. Mine are hot with the tears that I’m trying to hold back.

"You asshole," she whisper-shouts, swatting my shoulder. "I missed you, big brother."

I nod, not able to get words out past the lump in my throat.

"We're going to talk," she says firmly. "As soon as I get this house settled, you're coming over, or I'll find you and come to yours. You and I are gonna sit down and talk it out, and you're not getting out of it so don't even try."

We haven't truly talked since before the announcement that shattered my world and sent me running. It's been emails, with pictures of the baby, little updates from back home. I barely reciprocated, unable to get over my own pain enough to share my life with her.

Before I can argue, or find an excuse to not be ready, a tiny round face with big green eyes so much like mine and her mama's peeks out from behind Lily's legs.

Her hair is tied back in a bow, but half of it is mussed and trying to escape.

She blinks, hiding behind her mama and peeking at me like I'm familiar but she can't quite figure it out.

I quickly glance up at Lily, smiling down at her daughter and giving her a nod of encouragement. In the background, Silas is leaning back against the wall. He stays back, watching, letting me have this moment. I'm thankful for it even if I'll never admit it.

Adaline steps out from behind my sister's legs and holds something out to me with a pudgy fist .

Slowly, I sink to one knee to get closer to her level.

My heart is beating hard enough that I feel it in my ears.

I don't know what to do with my hands, or if I might spook her if I make any sudden movements.

She's so small. So impossibly beautiful and soft and perfect. What if I scare her? What if she cries?

She toddles forward a little closer, wide-eyed and curious, and drops a soggy handful of fish shaped crackers into my palm like it's a gift. Like she's trusting me with it, taking my measure by waiting to see how I'll react to her offering.

Something inside me cracks wide open, and I let out a breathless laugh. A real one. Raw and full and unguarded. My jaw aches from the unfamiliar smile taking over my face.

"Thank you," I whisper, smiling wildly and trying not to scare her off by sobbing.

She beams like I just plucked the stars from the sky and handed them over to her. "Tank-oo!" she repeats back, and then, without hesitation, she throws her little arms around my neck.

Her tiny, squishy body melts into mine like she belongs there, warm against my chest. My arms tighten around her like she's a missing piece of me, and I lose the battle with my tears.

I let them fall, silent and hot, sliding down my cheeks as I bury my face in her messy hair and take a deep breath of something I didn't know I needed.

Not quite sure if I'm even allowed to pick her up, I stand with her in my arms and bounce her gently, blinking through a haze while Lily smiles at us. She starts telling me about their big move, but I don't hear any of it.

Because I'm looking at this little girl—this light, this joy that takes up my entire chest—and marveling at her.

She's the spitting image of my sister at her age, with her green eyes, light dusting of freckles over her nose. Her hair is a darker auburn rather than strawberry blonde and curlier, but she’s definitely a Shepherd.

She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.

We’re in Abbotsford. We lost in overtime by one goal. It was a good game. Tight, well-played on all sides, but a loss all the same.

I didn’t seek Silas out on the ice, but I didn’t avoid him either. He’s still on his bullshit from the split-squad game, showboating and chirping like he’s got something to prove.

I hate that I caught myself smiling. Just once. Just for a second.

A flicker of something warm crawled up my chest, and the second I felt it, it turned sharp. Like a hot knife right through the heart.

He's so damn confident again. So much like the Silas I used to know.

It drives me insane.

Now I'm lying in this damn hotel bed, staring at the ceiling while he breathes on the other side of the room, calm, like none of this is eating him alive the way it does me.

I can't sleep, but I can’t blame it on the phantom ache in my knees that keeps me up most nights.

I haven't slept more than an hour at a time all week.

Not with him so close. Not with all the memories unraveling in my head.

The innocent ones, and the one that wasn't.