Page 13 of Wrap Around (Forbidden Goals #7)

"Yay global warming?" Silas questions sarcastically.

"I'm surprised Addy isn't freezing."

"As long as she keeps moving, she doesn't seem to feel the cold," he says, chuckling.

We walk in silence for a while. Until Silas nudges me lightly with his elbow. I flinch, then notice he's holding something out to me. A lollipop.

Watermelon. My favorite.

It feels like a peace offering. I don't know how to feel about that, but I take it, because I'm determined to try.

I glance sideways at him. His face is soft in the glow of the porch lights, shadows catching the slight darkness under his eyes. He's grown his facial hair out a little. It makes him look older, more distinguished. I'm not sure how I'd feel about a full beard on him, but this is nice.

Not that it matters what he looks like. That's my sister's business. I put the lollipop in my mouth and roll it around my tongue for a bit.

"I, uh, talked to Coach yesterday," I say finally, the words sticking a little on the way out.

Silas looks over, eyebrows lifting slightly. "Oh yeah?"

"I'd been expecting it. He hasn't ripped into me since Abbotsford…" My voice trails off, not wanting to bring up what happened at that game. I don't know how to apologize for that or explain what got into me. "He told me if I don't get my shit together, I'll lose my– "

"I won't let them kick you off the team," Silas cuts in suddenly.

I blink, confused.

He looks stern and serious. "I told Coach, if someone has to go, it should be me. Not you."

I don't know what to do with that. It sits heavy in my stomach like a weight. Like something that could drag me down. I don't know what it means. Why?

"I told you, Gideon," he says, his voice low.

"I'm not here to make your life miserable.

Or take anything from you." He glances away, towards the street where Lily and Adaline are chatting with another family dressed in similar costumes.

"I just… I wanted to talk to you," he says.

"To see you again, to explain, I–" He cuts himself off, jaw tightening.

"I know it's stupid to hope anything could ever be like it was ever again.

But I… I miss you." He looks away, angling his chin up and looking up at the darkening sky, opening his eyes wide like the cold air might dry away the moisture gathered there.

I want to run away. I want to pull him into my arms and hold him. I want to tell him I miss him, too. That I never stopped. And at the same time, I want to wrap my hands around his throat and shake him, asking him why and how could he do that to me.

Silas makes a brittle, broken sound under his breath, an unamused laugh or an attempt to cover a sob. "I see now that you don't feel the same way," he says. "And that's okay. I get it, I do. I just wish I could–"

He cuts himself off again, staring hard at the ground.

It feels like something is clawing its way up my throat. "Wish you could what?" I push, my voice rough.

Silas lifts his head again, meeting my eyes with a sad, resolute smile .

"It's nothing," he says.

But it's not nothing. It's written all over him. In the lines on his face that don't belong to a twenty-one year old man. In the defeated curve of his shoulders. In the way he shoves his hands deeper into his pockets.

"I'm down to try and work together," he says. "If you are."

And just like that, the wall slams back down between us. But this time, it's him that puts it up instead of me. Out of fear or anger? I don't know.

It feels like there are a million more things we have to say that we're only burying deeper.

By the time we finish a loop around the neighborhood and are headed back towards their house, Adaline's pumpkin bucket is overflowing and she's fast asleep in my arms, her little doggy ears ball cap drooping sideways.

Her head rests against my shoulder, soft little pulls of warm breath tickling the side of my neck.

It's gotten much colder since the sun has gone down, and my hoodie isn't doing much to block the bite in the air. The warmth of the sleeping toddler in my arms is welcome.

The walk back is quiet. We're all cold and tired, even though it's really not that late.

There's a different kind of tension between me and Silas now. It's heavier, somehow, full of things I can't name.

Anger was easier, I think. Cleaner.

Whatever this is, it’s messier. Possibly more dangerous.

I shift Adaline carefully in my arms as we climb the porch steps. Lily pushes the door open ahead of us, letting a wave of blessed heat spill out through the doorway while Silas takes the bucket of candy to the kitchen .

Inside, she turns to me and reaches for Addy. "I can take her if you want."

"I could help put her down," I ask, a little hopeful.

Lily's eyebrows lift slightly, but she smiles knowingly. She knows I'm gone for this little girl.

"Okay," she whispers. "We'll need to peel her out of that costume and at least one layer of thermals.

And we should probably make an attempt to brush her teeth if we can do it without waking her.

She might sleep through it, or she might have a category-five meltdown. It's really fifty/fifty at this point."

“Sounds about right,” I say, chuckling and starting up the stairs.

Adaline’s room has dark purple walls with glowing neon yellow stars and a bright green bedspread.

There’s a big Red Valley Blaze poster on the wall, and two paper jerseys, one with my #7, and Silas’ #22.

Lily made them out of construction paper and then had them laminated, and they look almost professional.

My sister is super talented. She could run a craft business, I think.

Maybe I’ll get her one of those cutting machines or a fancy craft table for her birthday.

I’ll have to ask Silas what they have room for, but there are at least two bedrooms besides Addy’s and their primary bedroom. Maybe she could have a craft room.

Adaline doesn’t so much as stir while I’m unzipping her costume and maneuvering her arms free. She’s so deeply asleep, she doesn’t even twitch as I get her down to one layer of thermals.

I glance towards the hallway, wondering what’s taking Lily so long. I’m pretty sure Adaline’s toothbrush is in the bathroom just down the hall, so I head that way.

Stepping out of the room quietly, I pad down the hall and almost run straight into Silas coming out of the bathroom. He startles slightly .

“Where did you come from?”

“Addy’s room. I was looking for her toothbrush.”

Silas holds up a tiny, sparkly blue toothbrush with pink gel on the bristles. “I sent Lily to take a hot bath,” he says. “She was freezing. I didn’t even realize you were still here.”

“I was waiting for her to come help me tuck Addy in. I got her out of her costume. She’s pretty out of it. Not sure how we’re going to get her mouth open,” I say, chuckling.

I hesitate for a moment, thinking I should probably leave and let him take care of his own daughter, but my hand wraps around the toothbrush anyway. Without another word, we head back to Adaline’s room together.

Silas settles carefully at the top of the bed, cradling Adaline’s head in his hands while I kneel on the floor beside the bed, trying to get the toothbrush into her mouth without waking her up.

It’s much harder than I thought it would be.

Silas gently pushes her cheeks together, and she looks so cute and hilarious that we’re both biting back quiet laughter.

Finally, we manage to swipe the brush around enough to call it good enough.

While I pull the covers up around her shoulders and tuck her stuffed Bingo dog in next to her, Silas turns on a nightlight that projects a soft, slowly spinning night sky across the ceiling. I watch it for a moment, the colors changing from pink to blue.

Adaline sighs in her sleep, nuzzling deeper into the pillow. We both stand there for a long minute, just looking at her. I glance up and catch Silas’ soft grin in the dim light. It does something stupid and dangerous to my chest.

It’s time for me to go.

We sneak out, moving as quietly as possible. Silas eases the door almost closed, leaving it cracked just enough to hear if she calls out for anyone.

For a beat, I pause. I feel a heaviness between us, like one or both of us has the urge to say something, but neither of us gives in to it.

Silas clears his throat. “Well. Um. Goodnight then.”

I swallow thickly. “Yeah. Goodnight. Thanks for letting me join you,” I manage.

“Anytime,” he replies, and turns in the opposite direction.

As I reach the stairs and take the first couple steps, something makes me glance back. Stupidity. Curiosity. It’s none of my business, but why isn’t he heading into the primary bedroom with Lily? Are they fighting?

I turn just in time to see him slip into the bedroom across the hall from Adaline’s instead. The one that I thought was a guest room, because it has a queen-sized bed and full bedroom set.

That’s strange. But, again, it’s none of my business.

I turn back around and head down the stairs, feeling off kilter and confused, although I don’t know why.

It just feels like maybe I’m missing something.