Page 33 of Wrap Around (Forbidden Goals #7)

SILAS

The drive back to the arena is quiet. It's not tense exactly, the quiet is peaceful in a way I haven't felt in a long time.

It's a comfortable silence, with an underlying playfulness that's making me very aware of being in a small, confined space with Gideon.

He's leaning back on the window, tapping his fingers on his knee to the rhythm of whatever song is playing softly from the radio.

I'm too distracted by him to notice what song it is.

The way he's tapping his thigh, and the teasing way he cuts his eyes over to me have me smiling like a lunatic.

I don't know that I've ever felt this light.

It's like revealing all our secrets finally released us from some kind of spell that made life dull.

Now all of a sudden, colors are brighter, the air smells sweeter, and I'm more aroused than I've ever been in my life, including both of the times I came in my pants thanks to the very man sitting right next to me. Close enough to touch.

"Thank you," I manage to say when we pull into a spot facing Gideon’s truck. The parking lot is dark and empty except for us. "For trusting me. I know it took a lot of bravery to come out to your sister. "

"Well, except for the part where she guessed before I even said the words. I was almost ready to say them."

"Have you ever said it before?"

"Not out loud."

"Never?"

"Never."

"Wow." I turn towards him. "Say it now."

"What?" he laughs.

"Why not? It feels right that I should get to hear it first."

"Oh yeah, how do you figure?"

"Don't you want to hear me say it?"

He blinks back at me, licks his bottom lip, then nods. "You go first."

"Alright…" I lean towards him and lower my voice. "Gideon, there's something I think you should know."

"Yes, Silas?"

"I'm gay, and I've been in love with you since I was too young to know what it meant."

A smile breaks out across his face and he chuckles, leaning his head back against the seat and closing his eyes like he's soaking it all in.

After several long moments of staring at him pointedly, he cracks open his eyes and looks over at me. "Oh, I'm sorry. Were you waiting for something?"

"You're a dick."

"That I am. "

He laughs and I roll my eyes, but before I can turn back towards the steering wheel, he reaches over and grabs my chin in a gentle grip.

"Silas, there's something I want you to know."

I can't respond because his thumb is pressing into my bottom lip.

He leans forward, coaxing me closer by my chin.

"I'm gay," he whispers. "Like, super gay.

And I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember.

The first time I ever touched myself was after the first time we jumped off the highest cliff at the falls.

I was terrified, but you held my hand, and I swear I could feel your hand in mine for the rest of the day. That's the one I used, by the way."

I snort out a laugh. Only he could turn something otherwise romantic into something ridiculous. It’s how he used to be, when it was just us, back before everything got ruined.

God, what if we're always this happy? What if this is just our life now?

Gideon drops a light kiss on the side of my cheek and reaches for the door handle. He pulls the handle and pops the door, then pauses before he gets out. Then he looks over at me, like he's trying to memorize something.

Then he leans across the console and kisses me.

It's not rushed or heated or desperate. Unlike every other kiss we've shared except the first one, it's soft. Tentative. Gentle in a way I didn't know either of us was capable of. It's full of promise.

I eagerly kiss him back, gently returning the soft caress of his tongue. I melt into it, wanting more, craving it like air. He pulls away, then comes in for a little more.

"I want to do this right," he murmurs against my mouth. "I don't really know what that means yet. If I'm being honest, I've never had more than a hookup. I don't even know what a real relationship looks like, but I'd like us to figure it out and do it together. For real."

My chest tightens, a strange mix of joy and trepidation trickling over me. I almost admit that I've never hooked up. That I've never even kissed anyone but him. But I don't.

It's not that I'm hiding it, but we're in a delicate space. I don't want him to feel bad about what happened back in the hotel, or worse, pity me. So I just smile and lean forward a little more.

Gideon kisses me one more time, like he can't help himself, before getting out. I watch him walk towards his truck and climb in, fingers pressed to my lips to cover the ridiculous goofy smile on my face.

When I get home, I'm still in a bit of a daze.

Lily is in the kitchen, washing what looks like the last pan from dinner.

Addy is in her high chair happily squishing playdough through her fingers.

I drop a kiss on her head as I go to join Lily next to the sink, pulling out a dish towel to help finish the last of the dinner cleanup.

"I've got this," she says. "You cooked."

"Not like I did much. I put the sweet potatoes in the oven and reheated leftover barbecue."

"It counts," she says. "And there really wasn't much cleanup, either. It just took me a while to process everything after y'all left."

"It doesn't feel real, does it?"

"It really doesn't. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now."

Honestly, I'm in such a state of disbelief I'm not convinced it happened. There's a whole new world of possibilities ahead of us now, and it's… overwhelming. I have an entirely new perspective of what could have been, but more than that, what still could be .

We can be a family. Me, Lily, Addy… and Gideon.

I mean, we already are. But it's so much more. Maybe he could move in here, and we could all be together as a different kind of family unit.

Maybe not today, or tomorrow. But someday.

Lily notices the way I'm staring off into space and wraps an arm around my back. I lift my arm so she can tuck herself against my chest, and I put the dish towel down so I can rest my cheek on the top of her head and just breathe the moment in.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"I should have grown the ovaries sooner."

"Don't do that." I turn to face her. "You weren't the only one to keep secrets.

If any of us had opened up, it could have been different.

, but we're older and wiser now, living in a different world where we don't have to be afraid of who we are or what we want out of life.

Maybe this was how it was meant to be. If we'd gotten our heads out of our asses too soon, we might still be back in that backwards town, living amongst backwards-thinking people.

We might not have Addy," I say, just as she lets out the kind of shriek I'd imagine could come from a pterodactyl and chucks a wad of playdough at us.

It lands on the floor with a plop that elicits the best kind of belly laughs.

I grin down at Lily. See?

"You're right," she says with a happy sigh.

"It all worked out." I notice Lily's abandoned glass of wine on the kitchen island and reach for it, taking a small sip to decide if I'm in the mood for a glass of my own.

Lily pauses, her back straightening. The corners of her lips turn down and a little wrinkle forms between her brows.

"Now that I think of it, what are you even doing here?

I assumed you'd be staying the night with Gideon.

" She waggles her eyebrows so dramatically I snort and get some of the fruity wine up my nose.

Coughing, I put her glass down and reach into the cabinet for another glass. "Yeah, about that…"

Taking the bottle of white out of the fridge, I fill my glass about halfway, then top off Lily’s.

Can I really talk about this? Ugh. I clear my throat, look at Lily's raised eyebrows, then pour a little bit more into my glass for good measure.

She gasps and looks way too excited. "This is about to be good, isn't it?"

I take a swig directly from the bottle, and Lily lets out her own version of a pterodactyl shriek. "Let's have a sit!"

She lifts Addy from her high chair with a flourish.

I follow them into the living room, where Addy makes a beeline for her basket of stuffed animals and toys and starts tossing everything out of it.

Lily sits down on the couch, tucks her legs up under her, and pulls an overstuffed throw pillow into her lap, waiting expectantly with wide eyes, like she's about to hear the juiciest gossip.

"I am not giving you any dirty details," I say, pointing at her with my glass before taking a deep swallow. "But something happened this past weekend."

"What? What happened!? Tell me everything," she begs, accepting her glass and beaming at me, like this is the best thing to ever happen to her.

"Well, we…" I release a huff of air and stare at her. "You do realize we're talking about your brother, right?"

"Nope. I'm choosing to pretend he's an entirely different person so I can give you the full bestie experience.

I'm weirdly excited about this. We've never gotten to talk about boys and stuff before, so don't ruin it by reminding me we share genes.

Ew ." She shakes her head like she's dislodging something, stretches her neck, then looks back at me with renewed attention. "I'm ready."

"Okay, so… We've kissed before…"

She blinks back at me as if to say, "Duh."

"I mean, like, recently. It's why he's been extra mad. He felt like I was forcing him to betray you or something-"

"Unless you're some kind of incubus and didn't tell me, that's some bullshit., but we'll put a pin in that for later, because I want to get to the juicy stuff."

Rolling my eyes, I huff out a laugh. "Well, the kiss was… intense."

"Intense how?" she asks, eyes wide.

"It was, um, physical?" My face is flaming, but I take another deep swig of wine and try to continue. "It wasn't just kissing, I guess. He was kind of, like… aggressive?"

"Silaaaasssss," she whines.