Page 23 of Wildly Yours (Owl Creek #3)

I wake to the sound of the front door closing and my heart sinks.

As I run my hand over the cold sheet next to me, I know that it's over.

There is no way he would leave me again without a word after everything we've been through.

No way unless he didn't mean anything he said or did.

No way unless it was all a lie, or he just got too scared of what it means for us to open up in this way.

I drag myself out of bed and straight into the shower, where a well of tears convulses out of me while I scrub the ache of my loss away. As I sit on the floor of the shower with the water pouring over me, I wonder why he would do this again. Why hurt me like this again?

Maybe seeing me with his family was too much. Maybe he didn't believe he could keep up his end of the bargain we struck. Maybe being that vulnerable was too much and he wants to go back to the way things were before he walked back into my life.

There's no point in trying to figure it out, so I pull myself together enough to go to work. To the place that I've spent most of my life, the place where I'm holding my family legacy together.

But what is that legacy at its heart, if not a legacy of distrust in the world?

I don't know how to square that with the path I'm forging. Because with Cody or without him, I've got to at least keep working on trusting my friends. It felt too good yesterday sharing my pain with them to stop now. I just wish I was doing this with him by my side.

When I finally trudge into the kitchen I see a note from him on the counter, and now I want to shrivel up and die. I just spent an hour wallowing in pity because my first response was to not trust. Instead, Cody is dealing with a family emergency of the worst kind.

My heart is aching for him, and also for my lack of faith.

I don't know what else I can do to believe this can be real for us.

I shoot him a quick text to let him know I got the note and to keep me in the loop, and he responds to let me know that he is flying out on the next plane.

Knowing that he will be facing those doctors and the man who ruined his life feels like daggers in my gut.

I can't imagine what it's doing to his guts.

***

Zoe and Renée show up at the store a few minutes after I open for the day.

"You heard about their father? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for checking on me. Cody left me a note this morning."

"He spent the night?" Zoe is beaming. "Spill!"

"What's there to say. After we left the party, we uh…

" My face is hurting from smiling and I honestly feel like a jerk being this happy, when this morning I was convinced he left me—again.

And on top of that to be this happy when he is facing his worst nightmare.

I just wish he wasn't alone. My two closest friends are here with me, making sure that I'm not alone, but he is.

"…We had sex. And it was just like before. No—it was better. There was even more depth, more care."

Zoe leans on the counter, chin resting on her hands with a dreamy look in her eyes. "So, are you in love?"

"I don't know if I was ever out of love with Cody.

But we have demons to face, he and I. And I don't know if we'll survive them.

Just this morning I…" I take a deep breath.

I have to keep believing that I can trust my innermost feelings with my friends.

"I thought when I heard him leave that he was bailing on me again.

I didn't see his note for an hour, and in that time I thought the worst things. "

"But now that you know what's going on, you can go to him."

"What?"

"Zoe is right. Get on a plane. Go be there with him."

"He didn't ask me to go."

"You don't need permission to show him you love him. Go."

"What about the store?"

"See that employee of yours over there?"

I look over to see Hadley tagging and shelving a box of garden gloves. She still hasn't told me if she is going to stay, but I know she can keep this place running while I'm gone.

"Does she know how to run this place?"

I nod.

"Then go tell her she's in charge and drive to the airport. We'll help you pack."

An hour later I have two flights booked, a bag packed, and I'm rushing to the local airport with Renée as she fills me in on the details.

Their father, John, had fallen down in the house and was there for a few days before a neighbor stopped by to borrow a tool and saw him through the window.

They called an ambulance, and he's been in the hospital ever since.

It took a few days for the nurses to find Cody, because John wasn't lucid.

As the only next of kin that he mentioned, Cody was the only person they knew to look for.

"I don't understand why he wants to go down there. After everything he said last night."

When I think back on everything that has happened over the years, the answer is clear to me.

Cody is not only deeply caring, but loyal.

If he weren't, he wouldn't have worked so hard to keep us all safe from what he perceived as the real danger of his violence.

And that loyalty, or something like it, is extending to the man that ruined his life.

I'm sure he wants to put everything to rest. To make some peace if there is any to be had.

To face his demons, and the source of those demons head on.

"Because he needs to finish this. He needs to know that he isn't like John. I think facing him one last time will give him that opportunity."

We pull into the regional airport and I grab my bag and rush in to catch the tiny plane that will fly me into the city to catch my interstate flight. My heart is pounding in my chest. I hope I'm doing the right thing. I don't want him to feel like I'm intruding on a private matter and push me away.

I run out to the tarmac and climb the stairs into the hopper just as I get a text alert from Hadley.

She has agreed to stay on as my employee on one additional condition—I make her an official manager.

This girl has some stellar negotiation skills.

Beaming, I tell her we can sit down to hash out her new responsibilities when I return.

Knowing that this smart, capable young woman is helping me keep things together while I rush to Cody's side fills me with pride. I've changed, at least a little bit.

One bumpy flight later, I'm waiting to board my second flight and scanning the internet for car rental deals at the next airport. Another text comes through, this time from Cody.

He tells me he's just arrived at the hospital, and the nurses are bathing John. He's in the waiting room until they can bring him in.

My heart is aching for him. I want to be by his side as he faces this down, but I hesitate to tell him I'm coming.

Suddenly it hits me that I could be making a huge mistake.

What if he is angry that I'm inserting myself in his pain and the drama of the past?

What if he wants to say his goodbye or whatever else he needs to say, without someone watching and listening?

I shove those feelings into a box that I imagine sitting in my mind. With my eyes closed, I see the box clearly and I lock it, and surround it with barbed wire. I can't let my lack of faith take me down right now.

When we land, my heart rate kicks up a notch. I'm all in and Cody is about to see that, to know that no matter what has happened, I'm here so he can face down the past and turn toward the future.

I funnel with the crowd out of the plane and toward the exit, locating my car rental place.

I can feel my pulse quicken as I fumble with paperwork and the damage walkthrough before receiving the keys.

GPS set to the hospital, I turn on the radio and the air conditioner. It's hot as hell in Central California.

With the music playing a nineties grunge tune I try to focus on what I'm going to say.

The nagging thoughts are trying to sneak out of my imaginary box, and I use the force of the music to push them away.

I have to keep going—I'm only two miles away.

I see signs for the hospital, and when I pull in, I grab the first parking spot I see.

Three calming breaths later, I grab my purse and step out of the car.

The heat hits me like a brick. It's pressing against me, making my feet move slower than I intend.

I don't know how people live in this, let alone work.

This is the so-called bread basket of our country and I feel my skin cooking as I make my way into the lobby of the small hospital.

The seating area is blessedly cool, filled with people that look wrung out.

I make my way to the counter and ask about John.

The receptionist directs me to the second floor, in the hospice wing.

Room 209. Exactly twenty stairs from the first to the second floor.

I turn down the hall checking door numbers.

This area is hushed, the hall dark. There's not a lot of action, and I'm sure it's to keep the patients and their families calm.

I hear a woman crying as I pass the room adjacent to Cody's father's room.

The door is slightly ajar, but I can't see in. Just as I raise my hand to knock, I hear my name called. I turn and see Cody holding a bag of food, confusion written across his face.

"What are…how did you..I don't understand."

Every part of my body is rioting. My chest is constricting, my heart thundering. He must not want me here. Otherwise he would have reacted differently, wouldn't he?

"I didn't want you to be alone. I don't want you to ever think that you are alone in this. Or in anything."

He swipes at his eyes and lunges toward me, wrapping me up in his arms and squeezing me like his life depends on it.

"Thank you," he whispers, and as my chest and body relax, and the box in my mind dissolves, I know that I did the right thing.

He holds me for several moments, his breathing becoming deeper. Finally, he pulls back and looks at my face for several moments.

"Serena, I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry I let him come between us. That I didn't trust you enough as my closest friend, as the woman I loved, to tell you what happened."

"I'm here now, and I'm doing this with you."

"He was sleeping so I grabbed some breakfast. Are you ready to go in?"

"Not until I say something to you. You just said I was the woman you loved. Do you still feel that way? Because I've never, not for one day," my voice hitches as I fight back the tears that threaten to wash over my face, "stopped being in love with you Cody."

Cody presses his forehead against mine and whispers to me. "Always have, always will. I'm forever, completely, wildly yours, Serena."

I grab his hand and kiss it, and then we walk through the door to face the man who changed our lives.