Page 7 of Wildest Forever (Lovelock Bay #3)

CHAPTER FOUR

PACEY

I was up early; sleep hadn't come easily.

My mind was wracked with the what ifs and what could possibly go wrong.

It also didn't help that the paperwork was arriving today.

I wanted to make Gerry Wheeler happy, I didn't want him to have to worry about Morgan or Cottonwheel Ranch when he had so much more to focus on.

I had no idea what our timeline was, but I knew he wanted to move quickly.

I had debated telling my ma, but then I didn't want to put any more strain on her. She puts on this big show that she is okay, plastering a fake smile on a not so brave face, but I knew deep down that she was barely holding on.

Riggs and Aspen lived on Crooked Creek; Dixie, Tripp and Lainey were still at home but wanted to move out soon. Ma kept telling them they didn't have to, but with her only having a few months until she drops I don't think they want to burden ma with a toddler and a newborn.

Scrubbing my face, I push to my feet and drag my heavy legs to the bathroom, closing the door behind me before I am under the shower and trying to wash the tiredness from my soul.

It didn't work.

I am still groggy as hell and my shoulders hurt from how tense they are.

I wrap a towel around my waist start to pace across the hall when Dixie walks from their bedroom, long brown hair messy, Lainey clung to her hip and she gives me a small smile before a yawn presents itself.

“Morning Pacey,” her voice slightly muffled as she walks towards the stairs, and I find myself tightening my towel around my waist.

“Morning,” I grunt as I keep my head down and make a move for my room, closing the door behind me.

Sighing, I pace to my closet and drag out a gray tee and dirty denim jeans. I felt like today was going to be one of those days. I needed to go into the office, but I also needed to get this paperwork signed and work out what my next move was.

Morgan isn't going to want to move in here, so I am going to no doubt be moving across the town line and into Blossom Cove.

Ma isn't going to like it, which pushes me to think I need to tell her what has happened, or I could get Gerry and drive him over so he can tell her himself.

Might make the news a little easier to swallow.

Pushing my hand through my hair and away from my face, I puff air through my bottom lip and glance over at my bed.

Single bed, pushed up against a large window, carpeted floors and a few baseball team photos on the wall.

Never really found my thing as a kid. Most kids have hobbies, but not us Rivera boys. We were put on the ranch to work as soon as we could; our childhood wasn't an easy one.

We were loved, but it wasn't sunshine and rainbows.

My dad was a tough man, God rest his soul. He always treated Riggs a little different though. Was stricter with him, made him do a lot more than me and Tripp. But I suppose he was getting him ready to take over the ranch one day, and well, that day has come.

Riggs is running the ranch, making all the decisions.

His latest one was a whole new bunch of cowboys.

I personally didn't think we needed anymore, but he seemed to think we did.

He made Marty Livestock Commissioner instead of his right-hand man—again, a choice I possibly wouldn't have made, but what did I know? I was only his kid brother.

Getting myself dressed, I brush my teeth before reaching for my hat that sits on the back of my door, placing it on my head as I move towards the kitchen.

Tripp is sitting feeding Lainey, Dixie is brewing a fresh pot of coffee and my mom is sitting, elbows resting on the table as she watches her son and her grandbaby quietly.

“Morning,” my boots move across the tiled floor and ma's head pops up, her eyes settling on me.

She is dressed in all black. She tells me she won't wear anything else, and the only time we should put her in color is when we're placing her in the ground next to my father.

I give her a soft smile as I place a kiss on the top of her head and my heart twists in my chest.

“You doing okay?” Tripp lifts his eyes to me, narrowing his gaze slightly before they're back on Lainey.

She is babbling away, pinching the buttered toast from his hand and shoving it into her mouth, her eyes wide and playful as she kicks her legs in her highchair.

“Yeah fine,” my tone is sharp as I walk over towards Dixie and reach for a mug, placing it next to the ones already lined up.“Ma, you about today?” Her eyes find mine and I can see the worry that dances through them momentarily.

“Yeah, is everything okay?” I hate that I have made her panic, that's not what I wanted.

I give her a nod, “Just need to ask your advice on something.” The sound of the front door closing has us all turning and looking, Riggs strides forward, cheeks red, sweat beaded on his forehead.

“Am I in time for coffee?” he glances at the clock on the wall then back to the full kitchen.

“Just in time,” Dixie smiles at him as she grabs another mug down from the cupboard and I watch as she fills his first.

“Errr...” Tripp says the words we're all thinking, “why does he get his first?” Tripp spins to look at Dixie and she gives him a playful smirk, her hand rounding under her neat bump. She is dressed in a long, white, cotton nightdress, sitting just above her ankles with frilly straps.

“Because he is out working and has been since...” she looks at the time, “four hours ago, so yes, he gets his coffee first,” she turns her back on us as she grabs his mug and walks it over to him, pushing it into his hand.

“I knew I liked her for a reason,” Riggs winks before dragging out a chair and slumping himself into it, his large, callous, dirty hand resting on our Ma's as he gives her a sympathetic smile.

My eyes pull when Dixie places Tripp's coffee down and then passes me mine.

He rubs his hand over her bump and she smiles with adoring eyes at him.

“Not long to go now,” Riggs smiles and I can see the pain that masks his face. I know how desperate he and Aspen are for a baby, and I hate the way my stomach coils every time I think of her. Hate that still, somewhere deep inside of me is this resentfulness, but I have no idea why.

I don't even want her.

Sure, I may have loved her all those years ago, but not anymore, yet I am still harbouring something and I can't put my finger on what it is.

“Nope,” Dixie smiles and Ma looks at her daughter-in-law, then to Lainey.

“I can't wait to be a nana again,” she says all glassy eyed, her voice quiet.

Tripp just gives her a look before Lainey is causing a commotion, clearly fed up as she pushes the plate on the floor and stretches her arms out for Ma.

She laps it up. Standing up and swooping Lainey from her highchair before cuddling her into her chest, placing a kiss on the top of her head then whizzing her off into the living room.

My eyes follow her over my shoulder before I am back facing forward and that's when all sets of eyes are on me.

“What?” I snap, brows furrowed, digging into my skin.

“Something is going on,” Riggs tilts his head towards me and I shake my head.

“Nope, nothing is going on,” I swallow down the nerves, coating my dry mouth with bitter black coffee that only dries it out even more.

“Then why do you need to speak to Ma?” Tripp calls me out and I throw him a dagger glare.

“Ohhhh, something must be going down then if you've said you need to speak to mom,” Riggs lets out a breathy laugh and my back is up in an instant.

“Nothing is going down, I just need her advice,” and Dixie's eyes light up as she leans across the table.

“Is it a girl? Is there girl trouble... or is it more of a crush?” I face palm myself; this is not happening at eight a.m. on a Tuesday morning.

“I can help if it is, I know a few good chat up lines,” she wiggles her brows which gets Tripp's attention, turning his head so quick I fear he has given himself whiplash.

“I don't need any help, I just want to talk to my mom about something that doesn't concern anyone apart from me, okay?” my tone is curt as I push up from the table and toss my mug into the sink, the hot liquid pouring out and I instantly feel bad.

Tipping my head back, I exhale heavily before I turn around and meet their gazes.

“When I can say something, I will, but at the minute, I have so much shit going on in my head I can only focus on one thing at a time.”

They say nothing, they're all just staring.

“Okay, cool, I'll catch you all later...” I begin walking forward towards the archway that leads into the hallway. “And get back to work you two... lazy fuckers,” I grumble a laugh as I walk out the door and down to my truck.

I needed to play catch up at work, I had piles of paperwork on my desk. This job is more paperwork than action, but after everything went down last year, well, I am kind of grateful for the paperwork. I don't think I had it in me to look into anything other than a few loose ended cases.

The odd missing pet.

Drug deals on land.

Theft of livestock.

What with Riggs re-appointing Marty, Austin had became Livestock Agent. I didn't think he was ready but Riggs, Buck and the Governor agreed that it would do him good.

Marty was ready for a little more and had asked for Livestock Commissioner. Marty has kind of got a bit big for his boots, but again, not my place. Riggs made that decision, and I am a supportive kid brother.

Turning the key, the truck kicks in and I loop it out of the drive before I am riding to town. Parking in the parking lot of the Sheriff’s office, I lock my truck then walk along the tree lined sidewalk and push into Sunny's.

The little bell rings above my head and she pops up from behind the counter.

“Morning Pacey, you okay?” she asks me as I glance at the fresh pastries and baked goods that are stacked up in the chiller counter.

“Morning Sunny, I'm all dandy thank you,” my eyes lift to her. Short brown hair, kind, blue eyes, pretty face.