Page 28 of Wildest Forever (Lovelock Bay #3)

I glance over the doctor’s shoulder when I see them carrying Gerry's body with such carefulness and that's when she turns to look, a harrowing howl escaping her lungs as she crumbles in my arms, her legs buckling beneath her.

I hold her up, not letting her fall and cocoon her in my arms. They move him outside before laying him on the gurney and strapping him down.

The sound of the heavy doors close and only then does she fall silent.

“It's okay, it's okay,” I stroke her hair, pressing my lips to the top of her head, my eyes closing as everything else fades around us.

“Morgan,” Carlos' voice slips through our moment and she turns to look at him, pushing from my arms.

Green eyes rimmed in redness, cheeks blotchy and pink, lips dry and cracked.

“He wasn't in any pain,” his words are meant to give her comfort, but I can see the anguish on her face. “We didn't expect it to be this fast, we will carry out the post mortem and I will let you know when his body is released.”

She just nods. Tears streaming down her cheeks, licking the odd one away.

“Maybe you can contact me for that?” I step forward, wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her back into me.

“Of course, whatever is easiest,” he rolls his lips, his eyes not lifting from my wife.

“That would be easiest,” I confirm just as the nurses walk into the hallway.

“If you have any concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me,” he gives a shallow nod to both of us before he turns away and walks out of the door, the nurses following, heads bowed.

I let out the deep exhale of breath just as she slips from my grasp, stepping away from me as she stands in the open doorway, eyes fixated on the van as it pulls out of the ranch.

“I need to go find Dusty...” I whisper as I step closer to her and my brows furrow when I see Riggs' truck passing the van and pulling to a halt.

Ma, Aspen, Riggs, Dixie and Tripp step out with plates of food, flowers and warm smiles. Lainey is hooked on Tripp’s hip and I can't stop the smile that is pressed against my lips.

They showed up for her.

My ma walks through the door first, glancing at Morgan with soft eyes then passes me the warm dish. I take it, and as soon as it is out of her hands, my ma throws her arms around Morgan, pulling her in and holding onto her tightly.

“Don't ever feel alone, I know your pops was your family, but you have us too,” she says in a whisper as she places a kiss to the side of Morgan's head and that's when Morgan wraps her arms around my ma and holds onto her as if she is her lifeline.

My heart blooms in my chest, but it's pain that radiates, not warmth and love.

Riggs steps up and gives her head a rub then pats me on the chest as he walks into the kitchen with fresh wildflowers that look just picked.

Aspen gives me a sad smile then glances over at Morgan who is still sobbing into my mom's shoulder.

Next is Dixie who is holding another bowl of something and follows Aspen into the kitchen.

Tripp sighs heavily and we know the heaviness that Morgan will be feeling because we still feel it now, deep in the crevices of our broken hearts.

My mom ushers her into the kitchen and I follow them, leaning against the door frame.

“Can you just keep an eye... I need to find Dusty.” I swallow down the bile and Morgan's lip trembles at my words.

“Sure,” my ma smiles at me as she rubs Morgan's back, Aspen pulling a chair out for Morgan to sit.

I give a nod, turning on my heel and walking outside the house, the warm summer breeze knocking the air out of my lungs as I give my heart a moment to settle down.

It's racing beneath my skin.

My legs begin to move but I have no control, I feel numb. My boots crunch heavily as I head for the stables, praying he is in there, so I don't have far to go whilst feeling like I am going to throw up the contents of my lunch.

Time moves slow as I push the heavy doors and step into the large space.

“Dusty?” my voice is loud as it echoes around the large space.

I hear the sound of metal hitting the concrete floor and my heart thumps.

“Yeah?” his voice floats towards me before I see him.

His face instantly drops when he sees mine.

“I'm really sorry...” I stammer out as I lift my hat from my head and let it drop to my side.

“No,” he shakes his head as his feet move a little quicker beneath him as he runs out of the stables.

I stand for a moment, grounded.

He is going to remember this moment for the rest of his life and it's my face and words that will scar his skin.

Blinking away a tear that lines my bottom lid, I turn and move back towards the house, heart a little heavier than five minutes ago.

Stepping back into the hallway, I drop my hat to the floor and move into the kitchen where my family are all gathered.

“You doing okay?” Riggs asks, stepping towards me and I half nod, half shrug.

He pulls me into him, patting me softly on the back and I didn't realise how much I needed this hug.

I almost feel guilty for feeling some form of grief, but at the same time, I think it hurts more because I know how she feels, I know just how much pain she is in at the loss of the man in her life.

I lost my dad.

I know how it feels to lose a huge piece of you.

Until you have lost a parent, I don’t think you can comprehend the feelings.

He holds onto me, my eyes scrunching shut.

It has just been such a rollercoaster over the last few months and this I feel, was just the final blow.

I need closure, I needed to fix what had been broken.

But Morgan being broken is not something I can fix by myself.

He lets me go and I give him a small smile.

The sound of boots hit the wooden floor and I know who it is.

Morgan glances her eyes over her shoulder and sees Dusty standing there looking as broken as her.

She pushes from the chair and throws herself into his arms.

I feel like a spare part.

I don't know her enough to comfort her in the way she needs.

My ma senses my mood and steps towards me, placing a hand to my cheek and I give her a sad grin.

“Love you,” she whispers as the kettle begins to whistle.

Dixie and Aspen move out of the kitchen and begin pottering around the house, picking up the odd pieces that lay around.

I finally let my aching legs rest as I sit down.

The tension brews in my temples and I feel pent up.

I have no idea how to maneuver this situation.

My glassy eyes move to her and Dusty, and I can't help but feel slightly envious of the both of them.

My ma's hand is on my shoulder as she places a cup of tea in front of me, Riggs and Tripp sitting next to me as he bounces Lainey on his knee.

“You doing okay?” Tripp asks and again, I shrug a shoulder up.

“I don't know,” I admit, letting my chin drop towards my chest.

Curling my fingers around the cup, I pull it towards me.

“Morgan, darling,” my ma's voice floats across the room and warmth radiates through me.

She finally steps away from Dusty as she takes the cup from my ma and rests against the worksurface, just as my ma hands Dusty a hot cup of tea.

I stand instantly. “You want to sit down?” and she shakes her head at me.

“I don't think I'll be able to stand again if I sit,” she admits, voice cracking.

My ma is cleaning the kitchen, occupying herself whilst Riggs and Tripp exchange looks then both avert their gaze to Dusty.

He is standing, haunted, legs anchored to the spot, fingers curled around his cup.

“Dusty,” my voice breaks him from his trance.His red, bloodshot eyes find mine.

“You wanna sit, man?” I ask as I stand and he doesn't respond, just moves towards me and sinks into the seat.

Dusty's eyes lift to my two brothers, slicing between the both of them.

“I'm Riggs,” his hand pushes forward, and Dusty takes it, “not the best circumstances to be meeting for the first time...” he rumbles and then Tripp gives a soft smile and introduces himself.

I know they met at the wedding, but they didn't really talk much.

“We're so sorry...” Riggs says for the both of them and he just nods.

“I know you probably don't understand why I am so upset.” Dusty begins, his voice kind of muffled.

Riggs rolls his lips and shakes his head from side to side, his eyes closing softly for just a moment.

“Gerry was more than a boss,” and I hear Morgan's whimpers.

“He took me in when I came out of jail, when I had nowhere else to go... no one else would have me but he gave me the chance. Made me work my fingers to the bone, but he let me work here under the radar... he was like the father I never had.”

Tripp sighs, putting a fussy Lainey up and over his shoulder as she babbles in Morgan's direction, a ghost of a smile haunting my lips.

“You don't have to explain your reasons for being upset,” his voice is low, “take it from three men who buried their father not too long ago, the feelings you have are valid, whether he was your dad or not, whatever the reason, he was a big part of your life.”

Dusty nods, his eyes casting to Morgan and she has more tears rolling down her cheeks.

Aspen approaches in the doorway and nods her head for me to follow her.Pushing away, I move to where she stands just outside the kitchen.

“Do you think Morgan would want me to strip the bed...” she eyes the kitchen then back to me. “I think it needs to be cleaned,” and I know what she is saying in a round about way.

I sigh heavily and ask her to give me a moment.

Dixie is in the living room, just tidying around.

The house is lived in, there is clutter everywhere. My ma's house is spotless, always has been, even with a rancher of a husband and three kids who were always in dirty clothes and muddy boots.

Stepping into the kitchen, I walk towards Morgan and softly tug on her elbow to get her eyes on me.

“Aspen is going to wash your pops’ sheets, is that okay?” I whisper softly and she takes a moment to let my words settle in.

She nods ever so slightly.

“Okay,” I roll my lips, and I am desperate to pull her into me, holding her tightly.

I move away and within ten steps I am back in front of the one who shattered my heart.

“That's fine,” my chest rattles. “Leave it on the floor upstairs, I’ll take it to the laundry room,” her brows pinch, furrowing.

“Where is it?” she looks around the small space.

“Small shed behind the house.”

“Okay,” she smiles at me then places her hand on the top of my arm and my skin burns from her touch. “You doing okay?” she asks, head tilting to the side and I reply with a nod.

Because what else am I meant to say?

No, I'm not okay. I still hurt from all those years ago when you split me in two.

No, I'm not okay because I am married to someone I don't know, that I want to know, but I am so fucking terrified of feeling anything for her when I am still trying to pick up the pieces that you caused.

No, I'm not okay because I am not only grieving my father, but I am grieving my friend, our friend.

No, I'm not okay because I am filled with so much hate and rage towards everyone and anyone who tries to tear down my family and yet there is nothing I can do to stop it.

“ I'm okay,” I mask the lie well and she drops her hand from my arm.

“Always here for you, you know that right?” her hazel eyes draw me in and I shut the memories down in an instant.

“Always,” I smile and my heart throbs in my chest before she turns and walks away.

And I stand there, watching her disappear upstairs and for some reason, a bit of that pent up rage is aimed at her too.

“You doing okay, Pace?” Dixie asks me and I snap my face around to look at her, pushing my hands into my front pockets and telling her that I am in fact fine.

Turning, I go back into the kitchen and sit silently whilst my family try and delicately put Morgan and Dusty back together with their unconditional love.

Because that's who we are.

We’re the Riveras.

We love fiercely and protect what is ours to our last dying breath.