Page 29 of Wildest Forever (Lovelock Bay #3)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

MORGAN

ONE MONTH LATER

N umbness fills my chest whenever I think of Pops. Time has moved so slowly but at the same time passed in the blink of an eye.

We had the funeral at home and buried him at the bottom of the field, under the apple tree where my grandma is buried.

Dusty has thrown himself into the ranch, working all the hours he can, and I have just been trying to keep my head above water.

The grief comes in ebbs and flows, and honestly, I don't think I would have got through the last month without the Riveras.

I never knew how much I needed them.

I always thought I would be alone forever and having to deal with this huge change all by myself, but they haven't let me be alone ever since.

Pacey has been incredible, I think I always knew that he would be, but I never wanted to give him the chance I suppose. Then this huge moment happened, and he has picked me up every single time.

My heart is still broken, a thousand pieces scattered around the floor that he still hasn't managed to find, but I know it will take time.

I will never be fully whole again, but he can fix me the best he can.

Sighing, I step onto the porch and place my cowboy hat on the top of my head.The sun is warm, beating down on my sensitive skin.The soft breeze dances through the trees and I know it's pops. I feel him everywhere.

Smiling softly, I step down and my heart beats a little faster in my chest as my boots glide across the dusty ground beneath me.

Dusty is in the distance, riding down to the bottom field and I find myself drifting towards my pops’ work shed.

The door is ajar and my brows crinkle, panic pricks at the base of my neck as I sneak around the wooden door and see Pacey standing in there, hands pressed into the front of his pockets, eyes scanning the room.

The sound of my boots has him looking over his shoulder, a warm smile spreading across his lips as he eyes me up and down before holding his hand out for me to move closer to him.

Inhaling heavily, I step forward, placing my palm in his as he pulls me beside him.

“What you doing in here?” I whisper, the dust settled on a lot of my pops’ things, the smell a little musty where it's been shut up, but the hint of gasoline wraps around us from the scent of his old, rusty tractor.

“Just found myself walking in here,” he shrugs a shoulder up as his grip tightens around my fingers. His face turns to look at me, eyes dusting up and down me. “How about you?”

“Same,” I sigh, and my chest rattles, my heart hollow and weeping.

“Feels weird around here, don't you think?” he asks me before he focuses on the tractor, head tilting slightly.

“Yeah,” my voice comes out in a whisper and goosebumps scatter across my skin.

I feel his eyes on me, but I refuse to look at him because if I do, I'll crumble, and I don't want to keep crying.

“Do you have much work to do?” my voice cracks as I settle my eyes on the dust sheets in the corner of the room.

“Baby,” he sighs, “I always have work to do,” a soft chuckle following.

I give a knowing nod as I kick the toe of my boot into the concrete floor beneath me.

“Well...” and he pauses before I look up at him, “I better get going,” he gives me a small smile as he turns his back on me. “I’ll see you for supper.”

Before I can respond, he is walking towards the exit, slipping through the heavy wooden door then disappearing into the warm summer day.

My chest aches when I am alone, and I hate it.

Spending a small moment more in here, I say goodbye to my pops and close the door behind me, pushing down the large wooden panel to lock it shut.

Walking towards the stable, I grab Barley and climb onto her back, kicking her on and towards where Dusty will be.

I am trying to stay positive, but I just don't feel like my heart is in it anymore. I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

Reality sinks in that this is my life.

I am a cowgirl.

That was my path.

To run the ranch for my pops.

That's my destiny.

To keep the ranch turning over, keep our land safe.

Whether I wanted it or not... it wasn't an option.

I made a promise.

I wasn't about to break it now.

Dusty is sitting at the bottom of the field just staring at the cows as they graze. We really needed to move them along, plus the calves were being sold in the next month, then it's time to get ready for the cycle to start again.

Aspen had planned a night out Friday to Randy's and as much as I didn't want to go, I think we all needed it. They've been amazing, been here whenever I have needed them.

I couldn't have asked for better people to surround myself with.

The whole gang is going minus Dixie; Lainey hadn't been sleeping well apparently, going through some kind of sleep regression.

Orla did offer to watch her, but Dixie refused.

Said she just wanted a soak in the bath and an early night.

Tripp said he would stay back and look after Lainey whilst she rested but Dixie told him he needed a few hours out.

I did mention it to James and Amora, I have no idea if they'll take me up on my offer, but I thought it would be nice for them.

Riggs is working with Pacey in getting the Boot back built up after Riggs bought the land.

That was their hang out.

I had only been there a few times, but I preferred Randy's.

It's what I knew.

Me and pops would always pop in on a Friday night, have a root beer float and he would have a beer.

Sometimes we would have dinner if he was too tired, others it was just a couple of drinks.

It feels a little tarnished now, but I still enjoy going. It holds good memories, and that's all I am trying to hold onto right now.

The good.

My heart has been obliterated inside my chest, and I fear it'll never be pieced back together again.

I am hollow.

The only light I find is Pacey, and I'm terrified he will leave me too.

Walking through the door just past five, I see Pacey's boots and my heart flutters. Kicking my own boots off, I lift my hat and hang it on the stand before walking into the kitchen and expecting to see him sitting there, but he is nowhere to be seen.

“Pacey?” I call out, looking up the stairs when I hear the sound of the floorboards creaking above me.

Smiling, I foot the bottom step and make my way upstairs cautiously and round the newel post as I walk down towards his room, his voice becoming louder.

Freezing, I eavesdrop to try and listen to the words that leave his mouth.

“It has to be a mole,” the words slip past his lips, and I find myself gasping.“They know too much, they know things that my dad spoke about that only we would know. I am telling you Riggs, there is a mole among us, and I will fucking smoke them out.”

Closing my mouth, I tiptoe back towards the stairs when his bedroom door flies open, and his eyes settle on me.

No words are said but I can see how tense he is.Shoulders raised a little higher, jaw wound tight, and eyes narrowed on mine that look slightly bloodshot.

“I was just coming to check to see if you were okay...” my voice is timid and I find myself shrinking back towards the stairs, fingers curled around the handrail.

I watch as he inhales heavily, breath shaky as his body trembles.

“I've been better,” he admits, and I watch as his head rolls forward, phone still in his hands as the other slips into the front pocket of his jeans. Slowly uncurling my fingers, I let them hover in front of me for just a moment.

“Wanna talk about it?” and his hand slips from his pocket, reaching around the back of his neck, rubbing the tension from the base of it.

“You must have already heard some of it?” his eyes burn with a flicker of rage, but I know it's not aimed at me.

“Only about smoking a mole out.” I whisper but he hears every word.

He sighs, turning his head to the side as he looks towards the stairwell.

I don't push him.

Just wait patiently to see if he spills the words.

“You remember the explosion?” he asks, and I nod.

How could I forget.

It was the first time I had met him; I was so bold and confident and damn I miss the girl I was back then.

Sadness blankets me for just a moment before he begins talking.

“The way it was orchestrated... my dad spoke about things in front of people who work for us, and the entrance they went for was where we think the Montana Pearl is, but of course, we don't know, even my dad didn't know.

My grandfather took it and placed it somewhere safe.

.. but yet, we were never told. We made peace with it, understood that he no doubt hid it for this very reason, but we've been attacked and I fear they'll just keep coming back.

My job is to find the person who started it all, I know they're working with the suits, know that they will know the ins and outs of this ranch, hence why they went for the entrance at the base of the mountains.”

He shakes his head from side to side.

“What has Riggs said?” I ask, stepping closer to him and now crossing my arms across my chest.

“That I am being over the top.”

I lick my lips.

“Do you think you are?” and I hate that I am even asking him this, but I am just trying to get him to maybe rationalize his thoughts. A lot has happened over the last few months, he is bound to feel betrayed in some way.

His eyes cast to mine.

He shrugs a shoulder up.

“What do you want to do Pacey, what is the outcome with all of this...” dropping my arms, I push them into my back pockets, my eyes volleying between his.

“I just want to make sure our land is safe, that no one can take it from us, that no one can take our legacy,” his voice turns to a whisper and my heart throbs in my chest.

“Then how do we do that?” I ask.

“I need to end the want to buy the land, I need to make them realise that there is nothing here but land that means so much to so many of us.”

“They don't care about that though, they are just focused on the money and how much they can bring into whatever they want to build.”

“Ski slopes and holiday resort.”

I blink at him.