Page 22 of Wildest Forever (Lovelock Bay #3)

“I do love a meatball sub,” he says as he looks at Pacey, “good shout about going to Sunny's,” he winks, and I feel a little content as I sit back at the foot of the bed and unwrap my own sub.

“What drink do you want?”

“I'll have the milkshake,” Pops pipes up and I laugh.

“Hey, that's what I was going to go for.”

“You can't deny a dying man...” he smirks, his eyes flitting between mine as playfulness dances around in them.

“He has a point,” Pacey says as he stands and grabs the shake from the cup holder and pops the straw in.

“What flavor?” he asks as Pacey puts it into his hand.

“Strawberry,” I hear the hesitance to Pacey's answer.

“My favorite,” he takes a sip, and I see how happy a little milkshake has made him.

“What do you want babe?” Pacey says then freezes, his eyes widening at the name that just left his mouth, and I stare at him.

Babe .

“Soda,” I squeak, suddenly my throat is dry.

Pacey walks over to the other side of the room and reaches for the soda and pinches a straw up before he is back beside me, handing it to me.

“Thank you...” I trail off, looking up at him, “ babe, ” and he smirks, eyeing the floor as he laughs softly and joins us back on the bed with a coffee and we fall into an easy conversation with pops.

We spent most of our afternoon in there and by the time he had fallen asleep, the nurses are back and it is just us two.

“You all set for work tomorrow?” I find myself asking as Pacey ties the trash bag up and pulls it from the bin.

“I am never set for work tomorrow,” he grumbles as he walks past me and out of the front door, but within what feels like seconds he is back in the house.

“Did you always want to be sheriff?” I find myself asking as I put a new trash bag into the bin.

“Nope,” he sticks his hand under the warm faucet and washes them with soap.

“What did you want to do?” he shakes his hands off then reaches for the hand towel, patting his hands dry.

“No idea. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a cowboy,” he scoffs a laugh and his eyes trail to me. “But then I grew up, I finished school, worked on the ranch for a bit, then went into being livestock agent... and well, Tripp stepped down and gave me the badge.”

“You must have felt proud.”

He shakes his head.

“I wouldn't say proud...” he sighs, “it's more a burden... I'm not sure how long I will do it for. But at the minute, I have no other option but be the sheriff of Lovelock Bay,” he shrugs a shoulder up.

“You must have a dream?” I ask him, pushing for more and I know I should probably back down, but I don't.

“Never had a dream, Sunflower. I've always been one of those that just go with the flow...”

“And look where that got you,” I snort a laugh.

He looks at me as if I have said something wrong, his hands fisted into his pockets as he steps towards me slowly.

“It got me married to a sunshine cowgirl... wouldn't say that was a bad thing.”

My cheeks pinch a rose pink and I cast my eyes down.

“How about you... dream?” he asks, and my fingers find my hair as I twirl it around.

“Not really, never left Blossom Cove, never wanted to either... but I never really had a dream to become more than what it is here. I love the ranch, love my life here... just sad that my pops won't be around much longer.”

I sigh, letting my eyes drift to him.

“But now there is you as well, and I know I am not alone.” I nod, pushing my hands into my back pocket of my denim jeans.

“Babe,” the pet name slips off his lips as he closes the gap between us, and I am desperate to feel his fingers on my skin. “You'll never be alone again.”

The breath catches at the back of my throat, and I don't know why but his words make me feel safe and terrified at the same time.

I have never been the type to need a man’s help, and yet here I am seeking out his.

I don't want to do this alone.

And now I didn't have to because I had him.

The door catching has me jumping back, eyes cast over my shoulder as I look towards the hallway and see two new nurses.

“Evening,” I smile as they give me a nod and I find myself following.

“How is he?” the male asks as we reach the top of the stairs.

“Sleeping, he ate a bit and had some water and a milkshake but he seems to be comfortable,” the words slip from my lips as I walk into my pops’ room.

He is awake, humming you are my sunshine and my heart hurts a little more.

He used to sing me that song when he tried to get me to nap.

Always been our song.

“Hey Gerry,” the male says, walking over and checking the machine that is next to him and then his drip.

“Evening,” he sweeps his eyes over the both of them and I give him a smile.

“Do you need anything pops?” I ask as I hold onto the bedroom door, waiting for him to answer.

“No sweetheart, go and chill out. If I need you the nurses will come grab you,” he places his fingers to his lips and blows me a kiss.

I catch it, holding it to my heart and blowing one back before I slip out of the room and back downstairs towards where Pacey is still in the kitchen pottering around.

“What do you need for your horse?” I ask as I drag a chair out and sit at the table.

“Just his saddle and bridle. I'll grab everything else tomorrow in the truck. Need to get his food and rug so just worry about the horse,” he smiles at me, and I watch as his eyes glisten.

I give a nod.

“Just so I am clear and know where my husband duties lie...” he pauses as he drags his own seat out, swinging it around and sitting on it so the back is in front of me, legs either side.

“Go on,” I lick my lips.

“Am I going to have any jealous exes coming out the woodwork to try and win you back?” his eyes darken ever so slightly as he lowers his sights on me.

A nervous laugh bubbles out of me.

“Not at all,” I whisper because the nerves cripple me.

“No?” he raises a brow at me, a boyish smirk on his lips.

“There is no...” I pause for a moment, rolling my lips then nibbling on the inside of my cheek.

“No?” he waits for me to answer.

“No ex.”

His brows furrow tightly.

“No ex?” and he looks confused.

“No,” I shake my head from side to side.

He pauses.

“I've never been in a relationship with anyone... so no boyfriends,” I whisper because for some reason I feel ashamed of the words I speak.

Pacey sits a little taller in his chair, his eyes widening ever so slightly before they soften on mine.

“Never?” he repeats, and I am not sure if it is just a reaction but I find myself nodding, but his lips turn into a smile. “So I’ll be all your firsts then…” he trails off when my eyes widen slightly, “hypothetically obviously?” he teases the words and butterflies flutter inside of me.

“Hypothetically… yes.” My cheeks turn pink.

“I just never seemed to find someone I liked enough to want to have them as a boyfriend.

.. I was so busy with this place that dating was just not on the cards for me.

Sure, I liked a little flirt down at Randy's but that's as far as it went.

I knew I would find someone eventually, but I wasn't really looking I suppose...” I pause and lick my lips, “but then you came along.”

A hint of a smile dusts across my lips.

“Like a wrecking ball,” he winks, and my cheeks burn a little warmer.

“The same could be said about me,” I sigh, crossing one of my legs over the other.

He shakes his head.

“Believe it or not...” he trails off for a moment and lowers himself, leaning forward so his top half is over the back of the chair slightly, his lips pursing and I find myself placing my elbows on the wooden table, leaning myself in, hanging on his words.

“You were the sunshine I had been so desperately craving in the darkest time of my life...” he pauses, and his words floor me.

“Sure, this isn't conventional, but here we are.

This wasn't in my own plan, but after the last few months I have had... well, you were like a breath of fresh air,” his truths seep out of him, and I find my heart weeping inside my chest.

In these five minutes he has shown me a slice of vulnerability and I am forever grateful.

“I will answer everything you want to know, I know our name leaves a bad taste in some of the towns mouths, but I promise, it'll be fabricated. You had every right to be cautious and keep me at arm’s length, but I am asking you to trust me.

Asking you to talk to me if you want to. .. I'll answer everything truthfully.”

I find myself swallowing, a lump so present in the column of my throat that I can't even get the words to pass if I wanted to. My lips part then close, but my eyes burn into his and after what feels like hours, he breaks away.

“You don't have to say anything. I am just laying my truths out to you, laying my soul bare for you to see. But my heart,” he sits back, placing his hand over his chest and I imagine his heart is beating steadily beneath his palm.

“I can't show you that yet. It's battered and bruised, and I don't know if it is capable of beating for another girl. But I want to try... I just need you to be patient with me. Because honestly, Sunflower, I can see this between us blossoming into something beautiful.”

My sharp intake of breath catches at the back of my throat and all I can do is nod, my insides tingling, my fingertips numb.

He gives me a slow smile before he stands up and walks over to me, looking down at me and I feel the way my heart stutters in my chest.

“But right now, we need to focus on the here and now, your pops, the ranch, the suits...” he cups my cheek, his callous thumb pad brushing against the softness of my skin. “We need to focus on our future... but we can't do that until all of this is sorted.”

I nod but then find myself leaning into his palm and a warmth radiates through my chest.

He steps back before he turns and walks out of the room, and I am left sitting with feelings I can't decipher.

Sighing, I slump back against the chair and let his words repeat over me.

He wanted to give this a shot.

But I just couldn't see this working out.

He has demons.

I have my own issues.

I have no idea how to be around someone like him.

How can I be his wife when I don't even know how to be a girlfriend.

Shaking my head from side to side, I push from the chair and make my way up to my bedroom.

I needed a moment.

Or two.