Page 34 of Wildest Forever (Lovelock Bay #3)

“Because after today, I thought you could use a friend... I know what you're like Pace, I know you'll pull away and push against anyone that tries to get close,” her eyes are on me again, but I bat them to the floor where I focus on my bare feet.

I swallow down the lump before turning my back on both of them and head back into the kitchen.

“I'm not pulling away, I just don't want to talk about it,” I hear how defensive his tone is when he is talking to her, but she doesn't take any shit from him.

I steal a look over my shoulder as he steps in front of her, his eyes pinned to only hers and she knows she has him right where she needs him. She lifts his arm and tucks herself underneath it as she leads him away and my heart shatters inside my chest.

Why is this bothering me so much?

Placing the potatoes on the baking tray I open the stove door and place them above the chicken.

Closing it, I step towards the archway in the kitchen and loiter as I listen to the calming and quiet voice of Aspen as she speaks.

“This is not your fault; you know that right?” she says and I edge a little closer.

“I know, but I am sick of people dying on my watch,” he admits, and I can hear the sadness in his voice.

“Pacey, this is not on you, he didn't die on just your watch, he also died on Riggs, Tripp’s, Austin’s and Marty's...” she trails off.

“It shouldn't have happened; he wasn't a bad guy... sure we had our assumptions but...” and I hear the crack in his voice.

Who has died?

“I know...” she pauses, and I creep into the hallway and stand behind the door frame. She wraps her arms around his shoulders, and he rests his head on her. “But it's happened, and now you and your brothers need to work together to find out who killed him, find out why they killed him.”

“I haven't even told Sunny yet, not that they were a thing as such but...” he pauses and lifts his red rimmed eyes to Aspen.

“I know,” she gives him a soft nod, her eyes lowering to him and he looks at her in a way he has never looked at me.

My stomach twists and I find myself gasping for air as my lungs burn.

“What's Riggs said about it all?” she asks and gently pushes him away from her, he allows her to as he sits a little further back but still leaning towards her.

“He is as bummed as me. I thought we were going to find another attempt of getting down into the mine, yet we found Conrad's battered body lying there instead.”

Nausea rips through me and I find myself swallowing, trying to coat the dryness that has suddenly laced my throat.

“Unfortunately this was always going to happen, greed does terrible things to people when they can't get what they want...” she trails off and places her hand on his knee and I watch as he gives her a small smile.

“You're a good man Pacey Rivera, everyone can see it.”

He bobs his head as he tears his eyes away from her and focuses them down.

“Hey,” she coaxes him, “look at me,” and he does, he listens to her command.

“You are Pacey, you are a good man, you all are,” she smiles a little wider at him and he gives her a half shrug of his shoulder.

“Despite what people may say or think about you Rivera boys,” she laughs softly before pushing from the sofa and I recoil back, tip toeing into the kitchen.

“Thanks kid,” Pacey says, voice low, wrapped in gravel.

“And open up to that beautiful wife of yours, she's there through the dark days as well as the brighter ones.”

He doesn't reply and I scamper away and tuck myself back into the kitchen, pottering around so he thinks I wasn't eavesdropping.

I know I shouldn't have been, but I wanted to know what had him so shaken up.

And now I know.

Conrad was dead.

Another life taken and all leads will point to the Rivera family.

That's two bodies that have been found on their land.

I hear the sound of footsteps behind me and Aspen's voice follows, wrapping around the room like a warm cashmere blanket.

“See ya tomorrow Morgan.”

“Oh,” I spin acting surprised, “see you later Aspen.” I hold my hand up and give her a toothy grin. She holds her hand up and waves. Pacey sulks in behind her, hands fisted into his front pockets, head down.

She pulls him in for a hug and rubs between his shoulder blades.

“Everything will be okay, it'll all get fixed, you know that,” her voice is low but still loud enough for me to hear.

He gives her a sad nod before she turns on her heel and sees herself out just as I begin to toss the salad.

Silence echoes around the house and as the seconds pass, my heart beats a little faster.

“Morgan...” his voice rips through me like wildfire, the way my name slips off his tongue licks against my skin like a flame.

I inhale deeply, dropping the wooden salad forks into the bowl and twist with it in my hands, head cocked to the side as I let my eyes sweep over him.

“Pacey?” I answer him with a question, walking into the dining room and placing the salad in the middle of the table and I hear the sound of him following me like a lost puppy.

“I'm sorry,” he just about manages to squeeze out and I stop in my tracks.

“For what?” one hand sits on my hip, and I can feel the rage bubbling inside of me and I hate it.

Because I don't even think I am mad at him.

I am mad at myself for calling his mom the second it got a little tough for me because I didn't know what to do.

I should have pushed a bit harder, knocked into his walls and I know he would have told me eventually, but I didn't.

“For not talking to you,” and the crack in his voice has the breath catching at the back of my throat.

Opening my mouth before slamming it shut again.

“I know you called my ma,” and if I wasn't staring at him, I would have missed the ghost of a smirk that caused the corner of his lip to lift.

“I... I mean...” I wave my hand around in front of me and stammer over my words. He shakes his head from side to side and steps towards me, closing the gap in two strides.

We're body to body.

Nose to nose.

And I swear he can see my heart lurching out of my chest.

“I didn't know what to do,” I whisper, all rage that once was a fuelled flame was now nothing but a simmer of ashes.

“I know and that's on me,” his hand cups my face, thumb brushing across my cheek.

“You don't have to tell me anything,” I just about manage, my eyes volleying with his.

“I know I don't, but do you know what Morgan...” his voice slips away into silence, and I find myself edging forward, lips parting slightly, desperate to feel his lips on mine.

“What?”

“The first person I wanted to see when I found him was you. You have invaded my every thought. All I wanted to do was climb into the truck and boot it here, to wrap you in my arms and hold you until you could no longer stand it.”

I say nothing, the words that spill from him wrap my heart up safe and sound, tucking it away so no one can ever hurt it.

“I can't stand being away from you.”

I nibble on my bottom lip and a silly ass grin slips onto my lips baring my teeth but he isn't smiling. His jaw is wound tight, clenched. His eyes burn into mine, scorching my soul and I never want him to leave.

“I'm sorry for not talking to you,” he whispers against my lips.

“You don't have to apologize,” I whisper back, eyes still on his. “You owe me nothing, Pacey Rivera.”

Now he smiles, his lips lifting into a smirk.

“I owe you everything Morgan Rivera, you just don't know it yet.”

“Kiss me,” my fingers tiptoe to his chest, my hands flattening over his heart as I wait for him to respond but he says nothing.“Kiss me, please,” my fingers pinch the soft cotton of his tee just as his other hand cups my cheek, lifting my lips to his and that's when the magic happens.

His lips slant over mine ever so softly, and my eyes flutter shut as he does, his tongue teasing mine and my body molds into him, my grip on his tee tightening as we lose ourselves, our kiss growing hungrier and as first kisses go, I am sure this is the best damn kiss I could have ever had.

Hands slip around the back of my head, fingers tangled in my hair as he drags my head back softly, his lips tracing a line down my jaw, my throat, my pulse point, my collar bone and panic claws at my throat.

I push back on his chest and his eyes lift to mine, worry etched onto his face and my cheeks turn blossom pink under his heated gaze and I notice he is panting.

“What's wrong?” he asks, eyes searching my face.

The pink turns deeper.

“I...” I lick my lips, dropping my eyes from his as I focus on a small pull on his tee, just where my hands are, my fingers gently playing with it. “Erm, I...” and I swear my throat is thickening the longer I am trying to get these words out.

“What is it, Morgan?” and there is no harshness to his tone, no, it's like being snuggled in the coziest and warmest blanket.

I sigh heavily, keeping my eyes on my fingers.

“I'm a virgin,” I whisper the words as if they're sinned, shame flames against my skin and I squeeze my eyes shut as I try and calm my erratic heart.

Fingers grip my chin before my head is being tilted back, his eyes burning into mine.

“Are you mad?” I just about manage.

“Mad?” and I can see the shock that slaps across his face, eyes softening as he loses himself into mine and that's when I realize he is looking at me like he looked at Aspen.

And I have no idea if that's a good or bad thing.

“Baby,” he rasps, his head tilted to the side. “I would never be mad,” he shakes his head ever so slightly, “but do you know what it means?”

I shake my head, his fingers still clasping my chin.

“It means I get to experience it all with you, for the first time, and that to me that is something to not be mad about.”

He leans into me and I find myself pushing onto my tiptoes and kissing him, letting my lips press against his and his fingers loosen before his hand is back on my cheek.

“We will take it slow, everything on your terms Sunflower, it's me and you... forever .” His words break our kiss, and I know he will have me free falling, but I never have to worry about hitting the ground, because he will always be there to catch me.

“As much as I want to kiss you, so, so much more, I am also starving and I really do want to take you on a first date... do things the right way,” and he lifts his lips to my forehead, placing a kiss there and lingering for a moment and my eyes close, my hands still firmly on his chest as his heartbeat finally begins to return to a steady beat.

He steps back and my hand slips from him and I instantly miss him. He gives me a slow wink and my heart gallops and a silly smile tugs at my lips before I twist them and replay the way he kissed me on repeat, and I really don't think I could have had a better first kiss than that.

Pacey lays the table, and I snap out of my daydream as I reach for the chicken and the baked potatoes from the stove and carry them to the table, placing them in the center next to the salad.

“Iced tea?” he calls out from the kitchen as I adjust the knives and forks.

“Please,” I reply and he walks in with a fresh jug and two glasses, popping them down.

He pulls out my chair, placing a kiss on my cheek and I sit, before he takes his own seat opposite me.

“That's a pretty smile you're wearing,” he compliments as he lays a napkin over his lap then reaches for my plate and begins to dish up my food before he plates his own up.

He hands it to me and I thank him as I place it down in front of me and wait for him and once he is done, we both tuck in together.

We make small talk, and I try my hardest to not bring up the day he has had. Normally, we would talk about our days, but today, today I think we can swerve it and talk about anything else.

And that's what we do.

We make small talk and it was perfect.