Page 12 of Why I Kissed You (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

Though he had never told anyone, reactions to unexpected news had always fascinated Darcy.

Delighted was the first word that came to mind on watching Mr. Gardiner’s eyes and smile widen. Mrs. Gardiner cried out softly and raised a hand to her lips, before smiling and reaching forward to wrap her arms about her niece.

“Oh, congratulations my dear! I am so happy for you!” said the lady.

Jane Bennet’s reaction intrigued Darcy the most. She drew a breath and pressed her hand to her heart, her eyes first widening with surprise and then, if he was not mistaken…

Was that envy that now came into her gaze?

Her expression, though pleased and smiling as she, too, embraced Elizabeth, most definitely belied envy.

And disappointment—he was suddenly sure of it. Instinct told him that she was not disappointed in Elizabeth’s choice, but in having been deprived of the same pleasure she believed her sister to now be experiencing.

Darcy felt his misjudgment of her keenly, and as covertly as he was able, while accepting the congratulations of Elizabeth’s aunt and uncle, he continued to study Jane.

She was paler than when he had seen her last, and thinner.

Her smile did not reach her eyes. It pained him to see her thus, her bloom somewhat faded, and to think it was the result of his own actions in convincing Bingley to give her up increased his sense of guilt.

He would correct that mistake tonight.

“Mr. Darcy,” said Mrs. Gardiner; his name snapped Darcy from his reverie. “I know it is quite last-minute to ask you, but would you care to stay for dinner?”

Darcy offered her a genial smile. “I thank you, Mrs. Gardiner, but I regret that I cannot,” he replied.

“I must see my uncle to inform him of my engagement, I have some small matters of business to attend to, and then tomorrow I have an early start to my day, as I must away to Longbourn to speak to Mr. Bennet.”

Mr. Gardiner laughed. “I wish you every success, Mr. Darcy, as I do not imagine it will be entirely easy to convince my brother to part with Lizzy. She is his particular favorite among his daughters, you know.”

Darcy glanced at Elizabeth to see a smile on her countenance that he hoped was genuinely felt. “I will concede to his every demand if it is within reason, for the very great pleasure of having Miss Elizabeth for my wife.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened, and her gaze searched his.

It occurred to Darcy then that she still believed him unhappy about the real reason for which they were going to marry.

In all honesty, he was not best pleased with the situation—he’d rather she had accepted him because she wanted to be his wife, not because she needed to marry.

Darcy wished she at least liked him, and at present he could not be certain that she did.

She had acknowledged his innocence regarding Wickham, had appreciated his kindness to herself, but as much as he wished it were possible, the entirety of her ill opinion of him was unlikely to be done away with in only a few hours.

Finding him innocent of one crime of which she had accused him had not lessened his guilt in the other.

Darcy recognized that, for Elizabeth, her choices had been truly difficult: stand by her refusal and risk her character and her family’s reputation being destroyed or accept his offer and bind herself forever to a man she could not even say she liked in order to save both.

But she was not marrying him to save herself; her own respectability he felt certain she would willingly risk if that was her only concern.

Knowing how deeply she cared for her family, however, he was without doubt—for her own words had told him so—that preserving the respectability of her parents and chances of marriage for her sisters was her primary motivation, if not the only.

Kempis had written that “Of two evils, the lesser is always to be chosen . ” Darcy was hopeful that Elizabeth having decided marriage to him was the lesser of two evils would soon give way to more tender feelings.

He knew that he could be a man that she liked, respected—perhaps even loved.

She had only to give him time to prove it.

He was certain that his efforts to see her pleased with her lot would change her mind as regarded his character, for he would certainly promise to do whatever he could to make the years ahead as tolerable—even happy—as possible.

It all came to one material point: he was still in love with her.

The angry recriminations Elizabeth had made hadn’t altered the sentiments he had avowed to her—on the contrary, they had forced him to reflect on his own behaviour.

They had forced him to accept that his manner was in great need of alteration if he ever hoped to be worthy of her good opinion, let alone her affection.

Darcy looked to Mrs. Gardiner. “I cannot stay to dinner with you tonight, ma’am, but I should like to know you and Mr. Gardiner better,” said he. “If you are not engaged tomorrow evening, perhaps you and Mr. Gardiner, and the Miss Bennets, would care to dine at Darcy House?”

“That is very kind of you, Mr. Darcy,” said Mr. Gardiner.

“Not at all,” Darcy replied. “I have heard Miss Elizabeth speak of yourself and Mrs. Gardiner several times, and I know she thinks very highly of you. I cannot help but wish to know better the relations who would inspire such devotion in her.”

Of you, at least , he added silently, Elizabeth need not feel any shame .

Darcy had spent only a few moments in the company of the Gardiners, whose surprising gentility pleased him, and he liked them already.

Their fashionable dress and comfortable style of living he knew was supported by Mr. Gardiner’s being in a very profitable line of trade—and was further surprised to find it did not matter to him.

He made a mental note to speak to Mr. Gardiner at dinner about commissioning a new carriage for Elizabeth.

“Our Lizzy is nothing if not loyal,” said Mr. Gardiner with a chuckle. “And as we are not engaged tomorrow evening, we should be delighted to accept your invitation.”

Darcy nodded. “Very good. Dinner will be at six. Mrs. Gardiner, might I beg the use of your writing desk for a moment? I have a note I must write for Miss Elizabeth.”

He was not remiss to the roll of Elizabeth’s eyes, and he could not help the smirk he turned her way in response.

“Why certainly, Mr. Darcy,” said Mrs. Gardiner as she showed him to the desk across the room.

“What is the note for, if I may inquire?” Jane asked.

“Mr. Darcy wishes to make me a wedding present,” replied Elizabeth. “My trousseau is to be his gift to me, and the note he now writes is apparently meant to ensure that my purchases this week are charged to him—he claims to know the best dressmakers in town.”

“I remind you, my dear Miss Elizabeth, that I have a sister,” said Darcy as he finished signing his name to the short missive he’d written. “I am unfortunately required to know the best dressmakers in town.”

He turned back to smiles on the faces of her relations; Elizabeth’s expression was sour, but he suspected her to be holding back her own amusement.

“I must go now to see said sister,” he told her as he handed her the note, along with a list of dressmakers and clothiers she might visit, “as well as my uncle, and as promised I will fulfil your request. Until tomorrow evening?”

Elizabeth’s answering smile pleased him. “I look forward to hearing how your business concludes, especially with my father.”

Darcy smiled and took up her hand, bowed over it, and after giving his address in Dover Street, he quit the house.

“Where to first?” asked Fitzwilliam as he was mounting his horse.

After verifying with a glance that Elizabeth’s trunks had been conveyed into the Gardiner house, Darcy urged his horse ahead of the carriage so he could lead the way to his London residence.

Fitzwilliam came up beside him, an expression of mild impatience on his countenance.

“Given we shall reach Dover Street first, I intend to share the news of my engagement first with my sister. Afterward, I’ll call at your father’s house.

Then I must see Bingley—I have promised Elizabeth to correct my error regarding her sister and my friend. ”

“Shall I go with you Grosvenor Street?” Fitzwilliam asked.

Darcy nodded. “I would very much appreciate the support. Bingley is for the most part an unaffected fellow, but when I confess to concealing Miss Bennet’s being in London all this time…”

Fitzwilliam nodded his understanding. “Yes, I don’t imagine he’ll be too pleased with you.”

On arriving at Darcy House, the two gentlemen found that Miss Darcy was not in; she had been collected that morning by her aunt, Lady Disley, for a day of shopping.

After exchanging their travel attire for clean clothing, Darcy ordered a fresh pair of horses be hitched to the carriage; the two rented horses were to be treated well that night and conveyed to a coaching inn the next morning.

When his coach was again ready to depart, he and Fitzwilliam rode the few blocks over to the earl’s house .

Their relations were surprised but not displeased to see them; even Fitzwilliam’s brother Philip, Viscount Rowarth, was there. After greetings were exchanged, his uncle said to Darcy,

“I am glad you are here, Darcy. Would you come to my room? There is a matter of some import that I should like to discuss with you.”