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SAMUEL

T he house is silent besides the quiet radio playing through the kitchen speaker. Cracking an egg on the side of a glass bowl, I over think everything.

Not the fact that Amaya invited me into her nest for the first time last night, only to be focused on Emmett and Vincent until she passed out, but I can't help worrying about what she might think when she wakes up and I'm gone.

I don't want her to assume the worst of me when I'm not there to explain myself, but if she did, it would be warranted. I haven’t been the best mate, or even an okay one in the past, but I would never begrudge my friends for finding more happiness and love.

Envy plagued me a little while I watched the three of them share something special, but seeing the acceptance and love in Oliver's eyes at the same time was powerful. There's no space for jealousy in a pack when each individual brings something entirely different to the family.

Amaya is worried about handling another bond right now, but she needed Emmett's stability to balance out the feral side Vincent has been showing lately. At least that's my conclusion. An omega chooses their mates when they do for a reason, for some need or desire to be fulfilled, and Em has always been the most centered out of all of us even when he's struggling. I mean shit, the guy is already seeing a therapist once a week through video call. He's solid, and she needs that right now while she figures everything else out.

So no, I'm not bitter but I am hungry and if I'm starving, then the three love birds and my brother upstairs are for sure going to wake up ravenous.

With that thought, I whisk faster, not wanting my pack to wait around for food. After pouring the eggs into the pan and putting some bread down in the toaster, a popular song filters through the kitchen.

While starting a pot of coffee, I hum along and even shake my hips. Absentmindedly I smile, remembering how Maya's nana used to do the same thing. I arch my back a little more as the first drip of liquid gold hits the pot and attempt the effortless twerk move the old lady used to.

My back tweaks and I curse while rubbing the ache away, then check the eggs. A snort halts me convincing myself I just don't have the female flexibility to do such a move.

"And here I thought you were hiding from me. Maybe even brooding in a dark corner somewhere."

Adapting a fake look of shock, I spin around and gasp at Amaya. "Me, broody? Never," I tease, then rush to the fridge to grab the butter for the first batch of toast. Cooking alone is hard. Why didn't I wake Oli up?

"Would you like some help?" my omega asks, humor still evident in her tone.

"Absolutely not," I huff and point my knife at the countertop. "Sit and relax. I'll grab you a cup..." I trail off and look to see if the coffee has enough for a cup yet—it does not.

I growl, frustrated that I'm not providing for her fast enough, but Maya just giggles and hops up on the counter with her crutches leaning beside her knees.

"What are you laughing at?"

She pats her hair down in my peripheral. "I'm not laughing. I'm enjoying the view."

Like an ass, I turn and flex my bare pecs for her. Even as she rolls her eyes, her teeth catch her pump bottom lip in a sexy little bite.

"Not your body, Sammy," she snorts, but I know she likes it. All humor fades to be replaced by genuine feelings. "I meant I like seeing you happy."

My silence weighs heavily on my chest, just like the ocean water I fought through to reach her. Eventually, the toaster popping snaps me out of my awkwardness. I pluck the browned bread from the machine and remove the eggs from the burner and murmur the words I am starting to believe. "I am happy, Petal."

"You are?" she whispers back, and it draws me to her like a moth to a flame. I'm ready to incinerate in her orbit as long as she is my last dying breath.

Tucking a snarled piece of her hair behind her ear, I step between her now parted thighs. "I am. Being here with you, with them, is everything. I can't tell you how much I hope to stay. I just pray you'll want to keep me, but even if I only have you for now, I'll be grateful for the time I got."

"Why—"

I narrow my eyes and lean into her space. "Don't play na?ve, Petal. I've been the worst kind of mate, and I have a lifetime of hurt to make up for."

Now she's silent but still nibbling on her lip as she studies my face. I'm glad my omega isn't defending my actions because I might have to put her over my knee as a lesson of self-worth. This woman deserves more than me.

"Amaya, I am so so sorry. Not only for my behavior toward you, but for the betrayal of my thoughts and feelings. I never should have doubted you. The three of us knew you, the real you , and still I poisoned us against you because I was lost in the pain of perceived rejection. I thought rejecting you back would make it all hurt less. Maybe make the pain go away."

"And did it?"

I shake my head and wipe a tear from her rosy cheeks. "No, Omega. I longed for you every day. My alpha turned against me because my primal side knew you never would have left us.”

"I found out that night, you know? The night they took me... From the moment I woke up in all three of your clothes I knew that I was yours. I knew, and I fought... Please know I tried. I tried, and I waited for so long, but it just became..."

"Too much," I add, knowing we left her to drown in the well of hope, unaccompanied by the heroes she needed. My heart thumps strongly in my chest at her sad nod. "I searched every nook and cranny of your house holding onto hope that you were just playing a game. I can't believe—I can't believe I let you go, Amaya. I should have fought my insecurities for you. I failed you. How can you look at me?"

She shushes me with a haste peck on my lips that stuns me fucking silent. "What's done is done," Amaya declares, her tone hard. "I want to move forward."

"Me too," I practically beg and my eyes burn with an intensity that scares the shit out of me. "Can you ever forgive me? Please keep me, Petal."

Her attention is heavy with emotion and true thinking. "I think so, Sam. You're saying the right things. Your words mean a lot. I'm glad you see the hurt you've caused. Now you have to show me. Words only get you so far, and because I see the torment in your eyes, I'm willing to let you show me you mean it."

I blow out a breath, one I've been holding since I was a teenager. "I will. Every minute of every day I’ll show you how much I love you." Amaya gasps at my words, but I plow forward. "I'll show you how far I've come and all the self-growth I am prepared to do. Amaya Rose, I will be my best for you. I swear it."

"Will you..." My omega bites that damn lip again, but she finishes her thought not soon after. "I want you for my heat."

"Your heat?!" The words burst out before I can stop them. Shit, is it already coming up again?! Panic is a real fucking threat to my sanity right now and instead of accepting the invitation, I question her again . "Amaya, that's your most vulnerable state. How can you trust me after everything?!"

Her next words make me crumple to the floor between her thighs in a relieved release of energy.

"Because I want to forgive you, Alpha."