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17

VINCENT

" W hat do you feel?" I'm going to wring Lucas' fucking neck if he asks me that one more time. "Dude, chill. I'm trying to fucking help you. Stop your damn growling."

My annoyance builds and builds until it snaps through the living room with a snarl. Words are beyond the alpha riding my agitated body. My ass fucking hurts from sitting, my skull throbs incessantly, and my skin itches around every motherfucking scab! AND I’VE STILL GOT NOTHING! I'M FAILING HER!

"That's not true, Vince." Oliver's whisper breaks through the internal pounding in my brain. Shit, I'm losing it . He hasn't left my side since I woke up, and I'd be a fool to take him for granted. "Can you tell me what she feels like?"

Coming from Oliver, the question doesn't feel like a throat punch trying to steal my words. Instead, his soothing cadence relaxes the ache in my vocal cords and loosens them enough for my alpha to sink back a little.

But I'm still a man. A man who doesn't fucking understand what's going on in my own mating bond. My scalp pinches as sweat beads in my hairline. "It's hard to explain."

Pretty boy tests my patience again. "Then?—"

Oliver shoots Lucas a glare, cutting the alpha off before turning back to me. "Close your eyes, Vincent."

I shake my head, not caring to look at the beta as he approaches me. "It's not going to work, Oli. We tried this already."

We’ve been at this for two damn days. It doesn't matter whether my eyes are open or closed; I can't get a read on Amaya. If I can't figure this out, she's lost to us until someone else finds her. What kind of alpha am I if I can't protect my omega, let alone fucking find her?

Cooped up in her house healing like I'm told and trying to figure out the tether connecting me to my mate has made me restless and, quite frankly, an asshole. I have to do something. I should get out there and find her, not poking and prodding around in my soul searching for hers. While my omega is experiencing more horrors, I'm literally fucking soul-searching.

Even in therapy at rehab, I didn't feel this useless. I was working toward being better every day so I could get out of there and find her. The similarities aren't lost on me, but this time, it feels impossible.

"You tried it with Lucas. Try with me , Alpha."

Like a siren call, my eyes shoot up to meet his piercing green ones. Oliver's gaze is open, laying everything out there and asking me to do the same. I gulp, feeling oddly connected to this man. Even in the face of tragedy and losing my omega, my heart thumps a little extra for Oliver.

"Come on," he encourages, standing in front of me with only a few inches of space separating us. "I'll do it with you."

I watch as Oli's eyes flutter shut. Releasing a deep breath, his shoulders drop and his face goes slack around his soft smirk. I'm not sure what he's doing, or how him meditating is supposed to help, so I wait for him to elaborate.

I try really damn hard to keep my annoyance in check, too, but we're—no, I'm wasting precious time. My omega is out there somewhere, in so much pain. The echo of her misery warbles through my body like a reminder of all my failures.

Like that first day I saw her… her pain was evident, but before I could have her, I had to be better. I will always hate our time apart, but when I found her, I was the best version of myself I had ever been. Now I have to do it all over again. I have to conquer more of myself to get to her.

And here I am failing again because I cannot get any fucking read on her!

Oliver hums, pulling me from my spiraling thoughts once again. Fuck, I need to get a grip. "Emmett is a soft golden green, kind of like his eyes mixed with mine."

Confused, I frown. "What do you mean?"

His eyes don't open when he answers my question. "The bond. Golden green, swirling all around me. What color is Amaya?"

What an odd question, but it's one I actually know the answer to.

I don't need to close my eyes to tell Oliver what color our bond is, but I do anyway because it's the closest I can be to my omega right now. And there she is... "It's dark in here but a golden hue pulses like a heartbeat brightening the space every few seconds." My voice feels far away as I sink into the feel of my golden girl.

He hums. "Em is anxious to get back to us, but he's torn 'cause we need food." Oliver sounds like an echo, but I follow him like he's my guide and salvation. What is it about this beta?

I feel my lips twitch. "Do you actually feel that in the bond, or do you just know him well enough to guess?”

"Touché," he murmurs, the heat of his body tethering me to the world around me. "But no. The bond sizzles around the edges with his nerves. There's this little quake every so often; his mind warring with his feelings that he's doing what he needs to be doing right now. So I put the pieces together."

Blinking my eyes open, I study the beta before me. His brown curls flop over his forehead since his head is tilted forward like he's focusing. Freckles sprinkle across his nose and cheeks. The laugh lines around his eyes and mouth when his face twitches give me insight to the man I can't see myself without anymore. The scar through his lips looks like a straight line from afar, but up close it's jagged and puckered. He has a sort of masculine beauty that I don't think I'll ever tire of looking at.

The way he speaks of his alpha is wistful, but it doesn't make me jealous. I want to bask in their love for one another. Oliver truly feels Emmett, and it's like he's all Oli can focus on when deep in their soul connection.

I glance at Lucas who's reclined back into the couch watching us with a mixture of curiosity and respect. The alpha knows everything there is to know about his bond to Freya, but from what I understand, theirs was formed in drastically different circumstances. What makes mine similar to his is Lucas used his bond to find Freya after she was taken from them.

But I'm not Lucas. His pack bond is one I'll never understand, let alone grasp his connection to Freya. I won't ever be able to learn my way around the mating bond warming my chest from someone I'm not close to.

I need Oliver. He's my fated packmate and the closest I can get to anything similar to Amaya and myself. Pack. Family.

Maybe once I figure this out, Lucas can show me how to track my omega.

Locking eyes with the football jock I went to the academy with, he gives me a nod. "Call me when you're ready," he murmurs, rising and letting himself out.

Appreciation loosens my shoulders. I always thought Lucas was a dick, and he definitely was at the Designation Academy, but he's changed. I will definitely be calling him when we're ready. A man with that much personal growth is one I'll need by my side to save my omega.

Turning back to Oli, I jolt when I see his striking green eyes already looking at me. Affection burns beneath the surface and his soft smile makes my stomach flip. I don't notice his hand reaching for mine until the heat of his soft palm holds my clammy one. Electricity tingles up my arm and I swear my breastbone expands to accommodate the beta. Mossy green clouds my eyes, but it's gone so fast I feel I must've imagined it. By Oliver's rapidly blinking eyelids and his stuttered breath, I wonder if he felt something similar.

"Ready to continue?"

I give Oliver a jerky nod and keep hold of his hand as our eyes flutter closed once again. Come on, Amaya. Give me all of you, golden girl.