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AMAYA

I should be completely relaxed right now. Waking up between Oliver and Emmett, their hard cocks poking into my thighs and their hands held on my belly, should be pure bliss and horniness.

No matter how long I stay nestled in my squishy pillows, my mind won't allow me to give in to my omega urges. She's fighting hard to present to her mates and finally bond them, but there's so much in the way of that happening.

And it's all me. I'm a hang-up in this pack. Until I can figure out how to tell my pack what happened to me, I don't think I'll be able to move on.

I know I scared Emmett last night so much that he had to ask for his own help. They deserve an explanation, and until I gather my big bitch panties long enough to do so, the worried looks are going to be too much to bear.

Sighing, I turn to Emmett. I take a moment to admire the sharpness of his nose and wild black bed hair. He's gorgeous... All hard lines and prettiness. I hate to wake him or the curly-haired beta wrapped around my other side, but I need help getting out of my nest.

My fingers trail a soft line up Em's throat as my other hand dips to theirs on my belly. Intertwining my fingers with theirs, I continue my playful journey along my alpha's Adam’s apple. A throaty rumble vibrates my fingers, sending tingles down my arm and making me shiver. I squeeze their hands a little in an attempt to gain some control of the desire heating my core.

"Mmmm, smells good," Oliver mumbles into my shoulder, that's turning bright with a whole-body blush. Oli's thumb rubs a tantalizing circle around my navel over my silky robe and tests the heat coiling tight in my belly.

I squeak and try to wiggle away from his teasing touch, but that only plasters me to Emmett's bare chest. The alpha moans, too, while Oli curses the missing body heat.

"Omega," Emmett growls, eyes still closed as his hand splits from ours and grabs my hip. "Stop wiggling."

Oli digs his jaw into the crook of my neck, tickling me anew. Squealing, I try to burrow into the safety of Em while keeping my sad ankle elevated on one of my big plushies.

"Maya." Emmett's voice deepens even further, the sleepiness making my thighs sticky. "Stop. Moving."

I huff and pull back, finally plucking Oliver's wicked fingers off my belly. "Oli's being mean."

Peeking one eye open, Emmett narrows his eyes on me then over my shoulder. "Beta," he warns.

I swear I feel Oliver smirk into my neck. "Yes, Alpha?"

"Knock it off."

"Yes, Alpha," Oliver says, but nips the skin behind my ear.

"OLI!" I scream and thrash against Emmett, who snarls and throws his body over mine. "Oh," I whisper, really enjoying being caged by my half-naked alpha.

"Why are we awake?" he snaps, glaring at Oliver and softening his gaze on me while he tangles his fingers in my hair.

"I need help getting up and to my crutches," I whisper, a little embarrassed and a lot turned on.

"Pfft," Oli huffs and shoves Emmett off of me. "You don't need those sticks when you have us, baby girl."

I'm swooped into my beta's arms in the next moment and am rushed out of my nest. An unrestrained giggle falls from my lips when Emmett's shout for Oli not to run down the stairs follows us down said stairs.

Hopefully, the easiness of this morning is enough to get me through the trauma I plan to relive today.

I'm numb. Completely and utterly fucking spent. I knew going into this that it would take every broken piece of me to write my truth... but never did I think I would pour everything into it.

I left no detail unturned. Dredging up every moment of torment, loneliness, and pure pain was excruciating in its own way. I have no plans to do it ever again. At least never in that much horrific detail.

Which is why, as I stand before all my mates who are waiting for my permission to open their emails, I feel like I'm going to puke.

This is my way of telling them everything that happened. I didn't expect it to take me until the sun went down or for my guys to have to force me to eat a little soup and remind me to drink water.

I poured my heart out into Vincent's laptop while I hid myself away in one of the guest rooms. My nest is not a place for me to relive those weeks that I'm sure will haunt me forever.

"There are a few things I have to say that won't be on there," I murmur, swinging my boot back and forth. I don't allow space for them to speak, needing to get this out before I shatter. "Please, let me talk and don't ask questions. They will all be answered in there." I point to their phones.

Into the silence, I tell them the triggers I've noticed already. "I'll need help with baths, and I-I don't foresee showers in my future. No chocolate either please... I just-I can't. Um." I sniffle. "Can we keep obvious praise to a minimum? Like 'good girl'. And maybe don't withhold food as a punishment."

"What the fuck..." Samuel mutters. The others look like they're about to puke.

"There will probably be other things. Those are just off the top of my head right now." I think the chocolate hurts the worst. When I saw the chocolate chips on the table with breakfast earlier, I almost went into full panic mode.

"Baby..." Oli gulps, looking from his phone to me. "We don't have to?—"

I shake my head, wrapping my arms around my waist and tugging my favorite blanket closer. "It's the only way I can tell you wh-what they did."

Oliver, Sam and Emmett all swap loaded looks; their shoulders pressed together on the couch in solidarity. Vincent clutches his phone so tightly I'm afraid it will break before he will.

"I—" Sam coughs, fidgeting uncomfortably. All I can do is grimace and feel bad about upsetting him. It goes against my very nature as an omega to bring them anything but love and comfort, yet here I am, dumping some of the worst moments of my life onto their laps.

Vincent stands abruptly, making me gasp and stumble away. The flash of hurt on his face forces a choked sob out of my throat. I thought I was dry of all my tears, but the look of anguish on my alpha's face is my undoing.

"No, please," I beg, my voice wobbling. "Just read them. I'm going to bed, and I would really like it if you?—"

"If we what, Omega?" Vincent urges, like I have all the answers for him.

I take a shuddering breath. "Please come to our nest when you're done." Looking from Vincent to Oli and Emmett, then my gaze finally lands on Sammy. "All of you. I need all of you."

I don't wait for a response or give them a final pained glance as I shuffle my way up the stairs on my crutches. Sleep is the only thing I need right now. Maybe that will wash away this awful day.

Will this change how they feel about me? I hope I wake to find them in my nest, loving me and all my tarnished pieces.