Page 20

19

OLIVER

I hope this works. Uncertainty threatens to smother my concentration on my bond with Emmett, but I've spent many hours wading through everything that is the connection between my alpha and me. I know him and our tether better than I know myself, so my experience has to be useful, right?

Please let me be helpful .

Vincent's breaking my goddamn heart watching him struggle and reprimand himself for each passing moment he can't grab onto his bond with Amaya.

He's right, a mating bond is hard to explain. They are beautifully and overwhelmingly unique, but the five senses still exist within the shared space.

Sight? Emmett is a swirly golden green wrapping all around me. Loving and cherishing me with a hint of protective alphaness.

Smell? My fresh cut grass scent tinged with his minty yumminess. And maybe a whiff of Sammy's signature sugary lime as my brother gets close to Em.

Sound? Right now, since Emmett can feel me poking around in here, his rumbly purr echoes throughout the bond.

Touch? Cozy warmth, and if I focus hard enough, a subtle chilly shift when he exits the grocery store.

And of course the taste of my alpha lingers on my tongue not only from this morning but from the potency of his minty freshness swirling through the bond and teasing me.

"Now," I begin, settling onto the couch, Amaya's little nest between us in the corner as we face each other. "What does Amaya feel like?"

I could ask him what she's feeling, but in my experience, figuring the details out is much harder than getting a general sense. I would fucking love to know what Amaya is feeling right now even if it scares the shit out of me, but just the small smidge of hope that she's feeling fine pushes me forward.

Cocking my head, I watch Vincent's brows furrow over his closed eyes. He's focusing, which is good, but...

"You need to feel , Alpha."

He grunts at me and rolls his shoulders back. I can tell he's struggling, then he leans forward toward me a bit, and his eyebrows slam down hard .

"What?" I whisper, worried, but I need to know, and I'll help him no matter if it breaks me.

Vincent shakes his head. "She—It doesn't make sense." I wait, but he doesn't take long, the words bursting out of him like he can't hold it in. "All I feel is you ."

Jerking, I scoot away. "What? Like I'm distracting you?" Fuck, I've been trying to help all this time, but maybe leaving him with Lucas was the better choice.

"No," Vincent whispers, pulling me from my panic. "No. Amaya feels you , Oliver."

I'm studying his features fucking hard and my heart absolutely pounds away in my chest. What does he mean?! I ignore Emmett's concerned prodding in our bond, knowing he and Sam will be home soon enough.

"W-what?" I stutter. Very helpful, I know.

Without opening his eyes, Vincent reaches for my knee and splays his hand above my gray sweatpants. "All the pain, loneliness, fear... it's gone. I don't know how to explain it, Oliver, but it feels like you in here."

"How so?" I have to know .

"Warm and comforting, like a life raft. It feels like… like you're saving her." My throat closes and my eyes prick with tears. Amaya? "I swear I can hear?—"

The front door opens, Sam and Emmett come in and drop the groceries off in the kitchen, but I don't think that's what halts Vincent's explanation.

"What can you hear?" My voice is thick, the heavy weight of his hand keeping me from flying off the couch and pacing. How can Amaya be feeling me in the bond when we don't have that connection?

What Vincent says next is an explanation without description. "Torn to pieces, lost in the storm… hating lost life, hating you've been born," he murmurs, lilting the end like a question.

Something shatters. Be it my soul plummeting in complete shock or my heart falling out of my ass, I don't fucking know, but oh my hell.

"What?!" Emmett's gasp and Sam's cursing don't even rouse Vince from his task. Flicking my gaze over the couch to the other two alphas, I see Sam bent over scattered glass and Em staring at us with his eyes and mouth wide open.

Gulping and begging my heart to calm down before I pass out, I snatch Vincent's hand off my leg, fall to my knees before him, and press his knuckles to my chest. At the feel of me, the big alpha with his signature backward cap snaps his eyes open. His gaze sears through me, but I’m unable to read the burning in his bright blues.

"I-I wrote her a song after her nana died when we were fifteen. She was hurting so damn much," I breathe, unable to hold back the tears now tracking down my cheeks.

"I'll always be here to dry your tears… and chase away all your fears."

Vincent completing the verse Amaya is reliving through the bond breaks me. A sob bursts from my strangled throat. "Except, I'm not !"

Heat envelopes my back and my cheek, but still I clench my eyes shut, fighting the comfort offered to me. I ignore Emmett's loving words warming the back of my neck, Sam's protests further away and the tugging on my jaw.

"I p-promised her!"

"Oliver—"

"No!" I cry, trying to pull myself from between the two alphas to no avail. "I'm not there! Oh fuck… I haven't been there for her for years! " Guilt, horrid and coiling, tugs on my guts, threatening to make me vomit everywhere for the horrible mate I've been.

How many tears has Amaya cried? How often has she begged for me to chase away her fears? I'm the worst beta… worst man to ever exist.

"BETA!" Vincent snaps. My jaw creaks with the force of his punishing grip, forcing me to look at his thunderous gaze. "You will never speak of yourself that way again. Do you hear me?"

I'm silent for too long. Vince shoots daggers over my shoulder, having a wordless conversation with Emmett. Next thing I know, my alpha has a hand wrapped around my throat, cutting off my air supply as Vincent leans in and shifts his hand to a stinging grip in my hair.

"Listen, Oliver." Vincent's order is softer than I expected, making me melt into their grasp. Emmett relaxes on my throat, allowing me to breathe. "All I feel is you . All Amaya feels is you . I feel safety, comfort, and so much damn love radiating through the bond. Amaya feels safety, comfort, and love. Even if she's blocking me from something else, you are still there making it better."

I see Samuel hovering over his shoulder out of the corner of my eye, but Vincent has me locked on him. His aura and sheer dominance leaking out in a sharp lemon tang around us forces me to stop and listen.

"Oliver, you are there with her. You're saving her, Beta. You are her solace in the storm. Even without you physically there, you've loved her enough to keep her heart and mind safe." Vincent is firm in his explanation.

"Your omega is seeking comfort in her memories of you, Oliver," Samuel adds, tone sturdy with a touch of awe.

Their words settle in my soul, soothing the fear that I'm not doing enough, but it's Emmett's words that have pride for the young boy I used to be swelling my chest.

"Thank you for giving her a place to retreat, Oliver."

I have to thank my younger self for being everything she needed me to be. Until I wasn't. Never again, baby girl. I'll be everything you need me to be and more for ever and ever.

"Okay," I sniffle. "Let's keep going."

We have to find her.