21

EMMETT

B eing strong and relaxed for everyone has always been my superpower. It feels like a curse now, though. Even Vincent glances at me when emotions are high and whatever he finds seems to relax him.

I honestly don't think I'm doing that good of a job. On the inside, I'm fucking roiling with nausea. I'm so damn anxious all the time. It's been nonstop for a week. The moment I walked out Amaya's front door after her heat ended, I was slammed with a nervousness I chose to ignore.

I should have stayed .

We're all so fucking dumb. Who leaves their omega literally hours after her heat breaks?! It's irresponsible and negligent.

I'm in a constant state of unrest, and yet I seem to be the calming presence for everyone. It's overwhelming and a burden I really can't handle right now. My girl is out there somewhere, enduring fuck knows what, and I'm sitting here on the couch just staring at another alpha, waiting for him to fix everything.

Shit . Now I feel like an ass.

My hand is punishing as I drag it down my face. I'm overwhelmed? Please . Everyone has been staring at Vincent all damn week waiting for him to find Amaya. That's overwhelming.

"Let's do this again," Oliver murmurs, settling beside Vince on the sectional. I tune back in, praying he'll find something; a clue or hint.

Samuel abandons his sandwich on the kitchen island and bends over, resting his forearms on the back of the couch. His tangy lime scent tickles my nose, zapping me upright and forcing the last of my wayward thoughts away.

Come on, Vincent.

Oli watches Vince close his eyes before doing the same. "Emmett feels like a restless Pop Rock but there's a heavy weight pushing on the sensation, trying to smother the nerves. Like… like he feels obligated to tamp the feeling down."

Son of a bitch . My neck pulses with the effort to keep from hiding my face. Embarrassing .

Smack ! "Ow!" I shout, my hand flying to the back of my head while shooting a glare at Sam behind me. "What the fuck?!"

The bastard just narrows his eyes like I deserved the cuff upside the head. "I knew you were being way too normal. You do nobody any good if you aren't fucking taking care of yourself, Emmett!"

"I'm just fine. Lay off," I growl. My cheeks feel warm, though.

"No," Sam states, arms crossed in defiance above me. "Feel your feelings now because as soon as Vincent has a location or something, you need your game face on. We don't need you acting like a damn Xanax right now. Save it for Amaya. Figure it out."

My annoyance fizzles out. Is he right? If I smother my shit now, will it come out at the worst possible time? "I-I don't know how."

Sam opens his mouth, his frown marring his sharp features, but Oli interrupts gently. "Sam, he's not tamping it down on purpose. Em's always done it naturally."

"Well, cut it out," my friend huffs.

I roll my eyes. "That's the opposite of what Oliver's saying, Sam."

He throws his hands in the air. "All I'm saying is if you keep ignoring your shit, it's going to come back and bite us in the ass. This, finding our omega, is going to get worse before it gets better. You need to deal with your emotions now 'cause there's only gonna be more coming."

Shoving to my feet, I whirl around. "I don't know how to be anything but the way I am, Sam! We all deal with our issues differently, so back off."

"I'm just worried about you!"

Now it's my turn to toss my hands in the air, my emotions crackling and ready to snap. And snap they do. "That's a first! Oliver and I have been fucked up over how you've been handling Amaya's disappearance for years . Years, Sam! I'm already struggling to figure out my feelings without you putting even more pressure on me. I've been the calm one since I can remember. I don't know how to not be that for you all."

"For us?" Sam replies, aghast.

"Yes! For you. For Oli, and Maya when we were kids. Everyone needed a safe space, and that was me. What am I if not the person you all look to, to calm your own nerves and worries?!"

He just stares at me now, and I keep my back to my beta and Vincent, not wanting to see their stricken expressions.

"I mean, shit, Sam! Oliver has so much depth beyond the happy guy we all love. You, aside from your years of being a fucking asshole, are our pillar of strength and protection, and you aren't even buff. You both provide so much to this pack, but this, being calm, is all I have."

"That's not true," Oli whispers, but I ignore him.

My hand slams against my chest as I stare into the eyes of my best friend, finally laying my truth at his feet. "I don't know what I am to you guys if I'm not your safe space."

There’s nothing but silence.

My chest heaves with the force of the rant that stole my breath. All my fears and insecurities out there have the wind ripping through my sails and leaving me stranded in a sea of vulnerability and judgment.

My mind conjures possible reactions in rapid succession, but none of them happen. Instead of Oliver wrapping himself around me in comfort, or Samuel denying his worth too, it's Vincent that breaks the tension in the room.

"You're more than the calm one, Emmett." I turn slowly to look at him in muted disbelief. Before I can tell him he doesn't know me, he murmurs, "You're… everything ."

"What?"

"Come here," Vincent demands softly while standing. Trepidation coils in my gut, but I still listen to the big alpha. "Right here.” He points to the tips of his toes.

Once I'm within inches of him, and huffing down his lemon scent, a new tension fills the air. I whisper, "I don't?—"

"Do you trust me?"

Those Pop Rocks Oliver described? They're fucking popping alright.

"I-Yeah." My response is quiet but sure. I do trust him. If I can trust him with my omega, then absolutely.

Heat encompasses my wrist, but I can't look away from the sincerity and passion in his blue eyes. There's a darkness there that wasn't there before Amaya was taken, but it's held in the arms of compassion and tenderness.

I watch my hand come into view and heat flushes through my entire body and settles in my dick as his lips brush the veins of my wrist. "I'm giving you my bond, Alpha," he declares, voice thick and rumbly.

I gulp. "Wh-why?" What the hell is happening right now?

"Because you're everything." A sharp canine presses into the taut skin. "You're still waters after a shattering of the surface. A warm grip on the elbow keeping the edge of a cliff far away. You are a gentle lift in crushing moments of tears."

I don't breathe. What is he saying?

"Do you trust me?" he repeats.

"Yes." It's immediate. I have to know where these words are coming from.

How is this alpha painting these intricate pictures of my character when he doesn't know me? And how do I not view myself this way? Who views me this way?

Vincent, slowly with heated eye contact, presses my wrist into his teeth. The prick of pain is washed away in a tsunami of heartbreak, anguish, determination, sorrow, and finally… pride. Everything Vincent feels rushes through me and if he weren't holding me, I'd be swept off my feet and crashing beneath the waves of him.

But… there's something else. No. Someone else.

There's nothing, nobody, that can keep me standing once she floods my system. Amaya . I crash to my knees. Vincent follows, keeping my cheeks in a brutal grip.

" Feel her, Emmett."

"Amaya," I choke, squeezing my eyes shut to try to hold on to her sunshine and warmth because I can feel it slipping through my fingers before being replaced with frigid numbness and muted fear.

"No, past that," Vincent encourages. The wrist he sprained flicks out and his hand squeezes my jaw a little harder, keeping me from floating away into the black waters of her disassociation. "You have to swim deeper to get to her. Go deeper ."

I find my omega in a gentle current of warmth surrounding her body to keep her from drifting too far and a soft pressure keeping her from sinking like a stone.

"That's you , Emmett. She's feeling you."

"H-how do you know?" My voice sounds garbled and far away, but… how?

"Listen now."

Amaya screeches through the water, startling me and demanding my focus. "IT'S NOT OKAY!"

"You're right. It's not okay." That's my voice. Not as deep, but soothing and understanding. I remember this.

"His words trickle through the overwhelming panic of loneliness, and they are… everything." Amaya's voice.

"Maya," I choke, keeling forward as the connection fades.

"See? You're everything. And now." Vincent swipes his tongue over my fresh bond mark. "Now she has you."

She will always have me .