Page 34

M orning had come, and as I rolled over to reach for my cell phone, I felt something much different than the stone-topped table beside my bed. In fact, as I slapped around to the side of me, I realized this was not my bed at all. Panic filled me because it wasn’t one of the beds from the hotels either. It wasn’t even one of the many found at Lotus.

I opened my eyes and bolted upright in bed. I was definitely in someone’s bedroom. My heart rate and pulse sped up, as panic continued to grip me. There was no one in bed beside me, but when I picked up the pillow and brought it to my face, I knew where I was.

Still, I inhaled deeply to take in the scent of Brynn’s shampoo. I’d missed it over the weeks I’d been gone. That, and the sweet smell of her perfume which lingered like an invisible cloud around me whenever she’d walk in and out of my office.

Water was coming from the other side of the nearby door, and I knew she was in the shower. Looking down, I also realized I was completely naked. Quickly, I pulled up the blanket as if that would suddenly make everything around me disappear.

How did I get here?

And why in the hell was I in her bed?

Well, that much was obvious, but the why I’d come over here to have sex with her was the question of the hour. In fact, I couldn’t even remember a single second of it which would figure. I’d tormented myself and stroked my cock raw in recent weeks imagining being back inside of her. Now, I’d obviously done it, but I couldn’t remember a damn bit of it.

I raked a hand through my hair, then looked over at the nightstand. There were no condoms to be found on the top of the tables, or even on the floor. There was no denying that we’d done something because there was a damp stain still on the bed.

Spying the nearby garbage can, I got out of the bed, then stood over it. Again, not a single sign of a condom. Even more fear filled me at that prospect. Had I actually fucked Brynn and bypassed all protection.

I glanced up at my reflection in the mirror above her long dresser, and I could see how pale that prospect made me. All the color had left my face, and my eyes displayed a wildness I felt deep inside of me.

What have I done?

Sure there had to be some explanation, I looked around for my clothing and found nothing. Needing to retrace steps I’d never remember taking, I walked toward the door and that’s when I remembered her damn beast of a dog. Bolt... Nail... Screw...

“Lug Nut,” I whispered as the dog’s name came back to me.

I was surprised the damn thing hadn’t torn my head off last night, or even this morning. Opening the door slowly, I peeked my head outside the door when able, and saw nothing. Maybe she had put the dog up somewhere, or it could be out with her neighbor. Brynn often talked about how much the man loved the dog, although I suspected he had a friendly affection for its owner.

A twinge of something akin to jealousy passed through me, and once I realized what I was even thinking, I shook my head. Her neighbor was gay, so had no interest in her. Still, irrational thoughts filled me that would not go away. While I should’ve been finding my clothes and beating a hasty retreat, I was instead creating something elicit in my head between the two of them. The only man’s arms she needed to be in were mine.

Again, I shook my head. I never should’ve come here, and had I been lucid, I knew I wouldn’t have. Focusing on finding my clothes, I scanned the room until I located them on the floor. Beside my T-shirt and sweatpants lay her shirt, and a torn pair of shorts and panties. Nothing else was on the floor beside them, and an ache began to form in my chest.

I was nearly unable to breathe at the realization that I had broken yet another rule with her. I’d never had unprotected sex ever in my entire life, but that had all changed now. I could’ve just tied myself to her for a fucking eternity without even remembering a single moment of it.

My hands shook as I snatched my clothes up from off of the floor. I had no sooner put my pants and T-shirt on when a noise caught my attention. Looking over in the direction I’d just come, I saw Brynn leaning against the door jamb and watching me with a confused look on her face. While she was perplexed, I was fucking terrified which I knew was reflected on my face.

“Adrian, what’s– ”

“What happened last night?”

“You don’t remember?” She asked, and before I could honestly tell her that I didn’t, she added. “I’d think that much is obvious.”

To the normal person, maybe, but I would never be confused with that adjective. Brynn had no idea the hell I endured night in and night out, and I couldn’t tell her, even as her expression changed when my silence answered for me instead.

“I can’t believe it,” she said. I heard the slight quivering in her voice, and everything in me wanted to go and pull her into my arms, but I stayed rooted in place where I was. “Were you drunk?”

It would be one excuse, and one I might’ve used but Brynn deserved better than that. As my gaze dropped to the floor, I quickly looked back up at her. “Of course, I remember,” I lied.

“It was a shock to me, too,” she admitted before moving over to the couch and taking a seat.

She was in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeve shirt hiding every spot I knew I had touched the night before. There was no way I could have her in my arms, and be in her bed, and not sink balls deep inside of her. Despite the season and Northern California’s weather this time of year, I noticed the sleeves and narrowed my eyes.

“D-Did I hurt you?” I finally asked.

A huge weight was lifted upon seeing her no worse for wear. Other women hadn’t always fared as well when it came to being in my vicinity during a blackout. There was nothing else to explain why I would’ve ever come over here, so it had to have been an involuntary thing. After scrubbing a hand down my face, I looked at her again.

“Did I?”

She shook her head softly. “No, you didn’t hurt me, Adrian.”

I closed my eyes and exhaled at that. Quickly, I reopened them to find her still staring at me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

I nodded. “I’m just a bit tired.”

She smiled at that. “You did wake me really late, and then keep me awake well into the morning.”

And I knew exactly how I’d accomplished that feat which only pissed me off more that I couldn’t remember any of it. So many nights, I’d laid in bed reliving every moment with her, especially those which involved her coming on my tongue, hand, or cock. I could’ve used a few new memories to torture myself with.

Not sure how to answer her, or even whether she expected a response or not, I turned my attention to her mantle which included the same photograph of her and Blair. The temperature in the room dropped an additional ten degrees, and my heart began racing wildly once more.

There’d been a reason I’d banished her from my life, and now all the hard work I put in to stay gone had been for nothing. I was pissed at myself. As I began to pace, I only stopped when I watched her bend down to put on her shoes.

“Are you going somewhere?” I asked, which was comical as I was the one who needed to leave and quickly, yet I couldn’t force my feet to move.

“In a little while. I have to pick Lug Nut up from the veterinarian’s office.”

Well, that explained the mystery of the missing canine. If only, I could get other answers just as easily. There was no simple way to ask her whether we’d used protection or not, so I decided to drop it for the moment.

“I was going to make myself a cup of coffee. Do you want to join me?”

Her question interrupted my thoughts. “Umm, sure. I like mine– ”

Brynn had gotten up by this time, and as I was about to tell her my preference, she placed her dainty hand on my arm and smiled up at me. “I know how you like it.”

And judging by how exhausted I was, I’m sure that didn’t just pertain to coffee. She was my secretary, so I knew she mostly meant the coffee. “That’s true.”

“Just because you haven’t been in the office, it doesn’t mean I don’t remember what you like,” she said as she began to walk toward the kitchen.

At the mention of the office, I did remember that I’d planned to fire her. “Fuck!”

“What?” She called out from the other room.

I couldn’t come over here and fuck her raw, then grab a cup of coffee and verbally fire her before hitting the road. I shook my head. This was a clusterfuck of a situation. “Nothing,” I responded, then walked to her window. I pulled the curtain open and was at least relieved when I saw my sports car parked on the curb. Taking a deep breath, I walked to the kitchen.