Page 5

BOOKS TOPPLED from my arms to the floor; pages of notebook paper flew across the hallway as impatient kids trampled my homework.

I tried to push between everyone to gather my notes, but only caught a few papers before the rest floated out the doors with the crowd.

Pandemonium ensued every day after seventh hour; the last place anyone wanted to be after school was inside the school.

“If Cody were here, no one would just walk by and let my notes get destroyed. No one would have the balls to walk all over my papers.” I mumbled to myself, and Brittany rolled her eyes.

She had tired of hearing Cody’s name after about three weeks, but I didn’t let that stop me from talking about him at least once every day.

“Look, just because you dated forever before he moved to Anchorage doesn’t mean you’re destined to be together.

You should keep your options open. He’s not here.

” Over her shoulder, she smiled at two seniors who stood against the lockers watching us.

This conversation was not new; Troy and Kevin had made it clear weeks ago how much they wanted to date us. “But they are.”

I ignored her. “He thinks I’m perfect—he told me so. He loves everything about me, even my voice. I love how he makes me feel and the little things he does for me are so sweet. He’s coming back for me after he graduates high school; he promised. We made a pact.”

Although Cody did promise to come back for me, it crossed my mind more than once how I could just be another girl.

His dad had moved him to Anchorage to finish high school because the captains of his fishing vessels needed help.

Since all his Seward boats were doing well on their own, he decided to shift his focus to the larger fleet.

Cody said he begged to stay so he could graduate with his friends, but his dad didn’t want him to live alone.

“I know, I know.” She didn’t mean to be condescending, and I knew it. If anything, she was a little envious because she had never had a love as strong as Cody’s and mine. Besides, if I didn’t hurry, I would be late for my first day of work. She needed to push me out the door, as usual.

“You don’t want to let Hannah down—my sister doesn’t vouge for just anyone. Let’s go get you ready for tonight. ”

“Cody’s my future. We’re going to take on the world, I just know it.”

A smile spread into a grin. Brittany put her arm around my shoulders and led me past the boys. “You’re right. He is.”

The only thing that kept me moving was Cody’s promise.

On his last night in Seward, Cody and I spent an entire night of uninterrupted time together.

We drove to the Waterfront Park and watched the northern lights.

Blues and greens streaked the sky over Resurrection Bay and gave me chills; I’d seen this phenomenon my entire life, it never got old.

Parked between picnic tables, Cody lowered the tailgate and sat a bottle of liquor between us.

We each took a long swig, then engaged in a longer kiss.

As he slowed and came up for breath, he reminded me of how wonderful our relationship had been.

“I’ve never wanted to be with anyone forever, Kennedy. You’re my match.”

It took all I had to not cry. Weakness wasn’t a good look for anyone. I leaned into him and offered my love with physical touch. The beauty of the sky couldn’t compare to the way Cody made me feel that night. I was his.

Covered with an old blanket in the back of his dad’s Escalade, he convinced me to give myself to him and vow not to be with anyone else.

Ever. Wrapped in his arms, he whispered how beautiful I was—something only old guys said—and how he wanted us to be together forever.

If we had been older, it might have been a proposal, but at the moment, I took it as a promise.

His touch was gentle, his kisses were passionate. We explored each other’s bodies until I was about to explode. I didn’t know what to expect to happen, but whatever it was, I wanted it.

Positioned between my bent knees, he asked permission. “Will you let me make love to you?”

Scared and excited at the same time, I nodded.

“Tell me you want me.” Cody’s voice lowered and he held my gaze as he waited for me to respond.

“I want you,” I whispered, and he kissed me. I meant it; I wanted to be with him in every way possible.

Intense pressure mixed with anticipation as he pressed into me. I gasped; I thought sex was supposed to feel good, but it didn’t. It hurt. Tears leaked and streamed down the side of my face. Cody kissed them away as he moved his hips.

“I love you so much, Kennedy.” After a couple minutes, he sped up the rhythm, panted, then groaned in my ear. He filled me completely; I cried out.

“Now you’re mine.” His tongue tangled with mine. “And I’m yours. Look at me.”

Under his weight, I focused on breathing and stared into his eyes .

“Tell me you love me.”

“Cody. I love you more than anything in the world.” I meant it.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you. I just couldn’t help myself. You felt so good.” Kisses trailed down my chin to my neck. He rolled off me, still panting. “Don’t worry, the first time isn’t ever any good for the girl.”

I didn’t ask him how he knew that; I didn’t want to know.

We held each other the whole night and promised our love would last through the vast distance.

In time, he would come back for me, and we would live happily ever after.

I had to believe it. If I didn’t, the last frontier would swallow me whole.

DARKNESS concealed booths at the far back of the Next-door bar.

Chairs sat upside down on tables, as they waited for the bartender to prepare for a packed Friday night, even though it was only Wednesday.

In one corner a large black bear stood on his hind legs with arms stretched out as if he would grab someone as they passed.

I shuddered at the thought of those claws piercing my skin.

Fifty years ago, when the bar was new, it may have been an upscale establishment.

All these years later, though, with little upkeep, it would be considered a dive.

Scented with stale beer and cigarettes, the purpose of this watering hole was clear—to drink.

Most of the customers did just that; a lot.

Brittany had told her older sister about my life at home and how we never had any money.

If it wasn’t for Emily and Nathan, I wouldn’t have accepted Hannah’s offer to help me make some cash.

The twenty-year-old shared her knowledge about other jobs in town.

They didn’t pay well enough for her to afford rent in the neighboring apartment complex, but since working at Next-door, she had built her savings account enough to buy a new car.

After school, Brittany pulled me into the bathroom, made sure my makeup was on point, and handed me a too-tight shirt from her backpack. “Oh, man. If Cody could see you now. He’d be so proud.” An evil grin touched her lips. “And hard.”

In thirty minutes, we had put together the perfect outfit, accentuating my thin waist and all my curves in the right places. I walked out of the school looking like a professional businesswoman. Or so I thought.

We hurried to the bar for my interview. Hannah had lied to the owner so he would hire me even though I wasn’t old enough to work there. I could easily pass for eighteen but didn’t have a fake ID to prove it. No matter: the next thing I knew, I had a job.

Two days later, I arrived early, as Hannah suggested, to loosen up a bit before my shift.

I didn’t know what that meant until she pointed to the stool beside her at the bar.

Two shots of something amber colored sat beside her, she slid one to me and nodded.

I’d never tasted diesel fuel, but imagined the flavor was probably close to whatever it was I had swallowed in one gulp.

The second shot tasted just as bad, but I forgot all about the flavor when the giggles took over.

“This is Yasmine.” Hannah introduced me to a heavy-set lady in her early thirties. She looked like my mom, in a way. “She’s another waitress. Between the two of us, we serve a hundred customers a night.”

“It’s exhausting.” Yasmine’s pretty smile eased my nerves. “We’re so glad you’re here to help.” She floated into the sea of chairs to deliver drinks to a table of four.

“Come on, I’ll show you around.”

I followed Hannah to a large private area beyond the restrooms. There, a rack of skimpy clothes and bikinis lined one wall and a sectional couch sat in the other corner with a curtain secured to the ceiling.

Dressed in a crop top, short jean shorts, and strappy heels, Hannah slid hangers to the left until she found the perfect outfit for me.

“You’re covering entirely too much skin. ”

Only then did I compute how her clothes didn’t coincide with the cold day. I tilted my head and squinted. “To serve drinks?”

“Yeah, something like that,” she chuckled and pushed the small pieces of cloth into my hands. “Here. Change.”

I surveyed the room then settled my gaze on Hannah. “What, in front of you?”

“Listen, it’s not like I haven’t seen a naked girl before. You’re my sister’s best friend. You’re fine. Change.”

“Naked?”

“No bra. And you can NOT wear granny panties—thongs only, my love.”

I held the teeny-tiny clothes at eye level and cringed.

I needed the money, so what would it matter if I didn’t wear a bra?

With a sigh, I undressed. The skimpy outfit made me nervous; I’ve never really shown any skin in my everyday wardrobe.

But they were paying me to dress a certain way, so I had to give it a shot.