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Story: Whiskey Scars

JAKE’S ACCOUNT of what happened brought all the emotions of my years with Cody to the surface.

The sound of Jake’s voice soothed me, but the words were unsettling.

I had cried for so long that I thought all my tears had dried up.

I was wrong. My lawyer handed me her handkerchief and I dabbed my eyes.

After the judge called me to the stand and I was sworn in, I leaned my head back and sent up a silent prayer for strength.

“Mrs. Miller. May I call you Kennedy?”

I nodded. No one spoke, so I glanced at the Judge.

“You need to speak your answer so it can be recorded.”

“Oh. Sorry.” I responded to the judge, then focused on my lawyer. “Yes, you can call me Kennedy.”

“Kennedy, would you please explain to the jury, in detail, the events which led you to walking down the middle of the road during a thunderstorm? Then please tell them why you got into a stranger’s truck.”

“Okay. Um.” I had gone over where to start and what to include with my lawyer, but my nerves pushed the memory away.

I had never been in a courtroom before, and the reality of the situation was overwhelming.

It was hard to believe the direction my life had taken.

My husband was dead, and I wasn’t sorry.

“Kennedy?”

I must have paused for too long. “Oh. Sorry. Um. In detail, okay.” I took a deep breath and glanced at the twelve men and women who stared at me.

“Cody, my husband, had some friends over to celebrate his coming back to Alaska.” Simply speaking the words brought me back to that night. As I recounted the incident, as my lawyer called it, the scene played back in my mind.

One of the men grabbed me around the waist and lifted my skirt. His warm hand stroked my inner thigh. “Yeah, baby. I bet you paid for the ride home with this.”

Fury filled my gut, and I picked up the first thing I could reach, twisted out of his grip, and hit him over the head. I lifted the heavy frying pan and held it like a baseball bat to defend myself. My broken arm throbbed inside the cast, and I knew I’d done more damage than good.

A vase flew from somewhere in the living room and hit me on the head. I dropped the pan and covered my forehead with one hand. Blood trickled down my face, but I didn’t feel the pain.

It all happened so fast. I found Cody standing in front of me. Why I expected him to fight for me, I’ll never know. A wicked grin crossed his lips, and he lifted the red-hot metal “M.”

Shit. Where did that thing come from? I hadn’t seen it in two years, since he used it to brand my forearm; thought we lost it in the moves.

“Have you forgotten that you’re mine?”

I took a step back and slipped on the water from the vase. Pieces of broken ceramic pierced my hand as I fell to the floor. I screamed in pain, then in fear as Cody straddled me. I kicked and wriggled trying to get away, but his friends held my feet.

Another friend held my head still as Cody touched the “M” to the sensitive skin under my ear. Pain worse than any I’d felt before rippled through my body. My voice strained as I screamed, my entire body shook in pain.

There are no words to describe the overwhelming sensation on my neck as it burned from the metal tool. My stomach rolled at the smell of burning flesh. Then something broke inside of me and I stilled .

“There. Now everyone can see you belong to me.” He rose up off me and the world stopped turning. The evil in his eyes reached my soul. “Including your fucking boss.”

What seemed like an hour had only been seconds. Before he had a chance to stand straight, I lifted my foot and kicked as hard as I could, connecting directly with his groin. At that point, I didn’t care if he killed me. Death would be better than this life.

“You bitch!” Through gritted teeth, Cody groaned. Bent at the waist, he held his family jewels and wreathed in pain.

I smiled. Good. Now you know what it feels like, fucker. Unfortunately, I hadn’t thought far enough ahead to know what I would do after the scuffle.

At least I got him off me. If I called my mom to ask for help, it would take hours for her to get to me. I refused to bring anyone I worked with into my shit show. No one needed to feel sorry for me because I chose to marry an abuser.

Cody’s friends all took off during the commotion and I stood before him prepared to take my punishment. More bruises were certainly in my future and for once, I wasn’t afraid. For a brief second, I thought I might even try to fight him back. Sure, it would suck—pain always does.

I didn’t expect him to push me out the door and throw me in the truck.

A new level of fear passed through me. Possibilities of what he planned to do raced through my mind.

“Cody. Where are we going?” My voice was sturdy.

Would he drive off a cliff and kill us both?

“Come on, Cody. Don’t do something stupid.

” Would he take me in the middle of nowhere, dish out my punishment, and leave me for dead?

He didn’t even respond to me calling him stupid. I’d never seen him like this, and I knew I finally took it too far. Not speaking or trying to hit me as he drove, he just leaned forward, gripping the steering wheel with both hands. The way he stared straight ahead spooked me.

“What are you doing, Cody?” There’s no way I was going to let him know how scared I was. Maybe if I push him more, he’ll snap out of it. “You’re being ridiculous, you know. I’m not scared of you,” I lied.

Rain poured from the heavens, muddying the ground. The truck slid as he took a corner on the dirt road too fast. He slammed on the brakes and my body flew forward; my shoulder hit the windshield. He is trying to kill me.

Through slits in his eyes, his gaze made me shiver. A bottle of whiskey appeared in his hand; he sat it on the seat between us.

Shaking, I scooted closer to the door and hid my hand behind me as I felt for the handle. I don’t know why; where would I go in the middle of a thunderstorm ?

Cody grabbed my wrist, shook the pill bottle, but only one Oxy fell into my palm.

“Fuck,” he spat and shoved the bottle of whiskey in my face.

“No. I don’t want to take this.”

“You’ll do as I say.”

The pain in my wrist shot all the way to my elbow as he squeezed harder and twisted.

If I didn’t take the pill, he would break my good arm; I knew it.

If this is the end, at least I won’t remember anything.

I chased the Oxy with one quick swig, but he forced me to keep the bottle to my lips.

I drank as quickly as I could but gagged and spit half of it down the front of me.

“Bitch, why you gotta be so fucking sloppy? Dammit, now my truck will smell like liquor for weeks.”

His fist connected with my eye before I could blink. I gasped and my head hit the window behind me. Blood trickled down my face and my cheek pulsed.

“Get out.” His voice coated in nonchalance. Lightning flashed and illuminated the inside of the truck. His silhouette was unrecognizable. For a split second, I wondered if it was one of his friends who had driven me to the wilderness.

“Out!” He screamed at the top of his lungs.

I shook my head, scared to leave and scared to stay.

The next second, Cody opened my door from the outside. The midnight thunderstorm crashed around him. A flurry of flashing light and rolling thunder mixed with the calming effect of the Oxy and whiskey confused me; I wasn’t sure which way was up.

In one swift move, he pulled me from the truck and threw me to the ground. I landed on my stomach; my hands sank into the mud and were scraped raw by the rocks underneath. By the time I looked over my shoulder, he was gone.

To the jury, I finished recounting the story. “I know it sounds stupid, but I started walking home. What choice did I have? I had nothing to my name; I was one hundred percent dependent on Cody. In my fog, I was thinking of ways to apologize for what I had done.

“Then, headlights illuminated the road from behind me and when I turned, I thought I saw a halo. It was raining so hard, and I was only wearing a dress; I was soaked to the bone and freezing. My entire body hurt, especially my head, neck, and wrist.

“The man in the truck—Jake—wasn’t a stranger, not really.

But I didn’t know it was him at the time.

I was so scared and high that I didn't even bother to try to recognize whose truck I got into.

All I saw was a man with kind eyes. I instantly felt safe.

I knew that he wouldn't hurt me. His voice was low and calm and felt almost warm.

I was so cold and tired. I just wanted to be warm and dry.

“It wasn't until I was talking with my lawyer, that I realized our paths had crossed before. His lawyer said that Jake knew me. My thoughts went back to my time in Dallas, and I did a double take. I asked her if his last name was Knight. She confirmed and I cried. He was quite literally my knight in shining armor. He saved me. He rescued me from my life of hell.”

Jake stared at me from behind the lawyer’s table. A faint smile touched his lips.

“I want to say thank you to my angel. Jake, you saved my life. I couldn’t possibly find a way to express how much you mean to me.

You gave me my best chance to live a normal, happy life.

Without you, I may not have survived.” I turned to address the jury directly.

“I’ve told you what led up to Jake rescuing me, but please know that what he did proved how he is the most selfless person alive.

He risked everything for someone he barely knew. ”

I took a deep breath and studied my pretty pink fingernail polish.

“From my vantage point in the truck, I heard a gunshot, and I knew I would never be hurt again. Relief floated through me like a wave. My shoulders sagged and my head bowed as I cried. The tears that streamed down my cheeks were not because I was sad about my husband being dead, but because I knew I would never be forced to endure his abuse again. ”

My lawyer stood and pursed her lips. “You’ve explained a pretty horrific situation, Kennedy. I understand you were scared, but do you really believe your husband was so abusive that he deserved to die?”

We hadn’t discussed this question in my preparations.

My blood ran cold; I stared at her for thirty seconds too long.

Unable to disguise the disgust in my voice, I said, “Every time I would walk towards him, my body grew tense because I knew I was headed straight for hell. I don’t know how to explain how much his abuse killed me inside.

I still can’t sleep more than a few hours without waking from a nightmare.

I see him on the road nearly every day. His voice rings in my ears.

” I paused and wiped away a tear. “Yes.”

“I understand. Would you please show the nice people of the jury some of your other permanent reminders of your abusive life with Cody Miller?”

Starting at the top, I pointed to my head.

“Multiple concussions which have left me with bad short-term memory. Broken cheekbone, nose, jaw, teeth. Branded with an “M” on my neck and arm. Scars from handcuffs, broken arm, broken ribs, bruises, and scrapes all over.” I lowered my head and clenched my jaw to ward off more tears. “Two miscarriages.”

After regaining my composure, I continued. “I spent a few peaceful days in the hospital when he broke my arm. At least I wasn’t afraid of what he would do to me for those nights. I didn’t press charges. I knew when he got out he would come after me and probably kill me.

“In addition to the beatings, he’s raped me, drugged me, and sold my body to strangers, not to mention the years of mental abuse.”

My lawyer turned toward the jury and studied the face of each person sitting in the box, one by one.

“As you’ve heard straight from my client, she had been abused to the extreme and forced to endure the unimaginable, mentally and physically.

People don’t go around just deserving to die, but the world is sometimes a better place without certain people in it. ”

She addressed me again. “Is there anything else you’d like to add?”

“Yes. I’d held in the pain of others for over twenty years.

I exhaled for the first time the night Jake saved my life.

I guess maybe it was meant to be that I didn’t recognize him.

But God put him in my path for a reason.

I don't know if he's an angel, 'cause angels don't do what he did. He was hellbent to find the man behind all the whiskey scars I hid.”

The jury fixated on me; my case enthralled them. I bowed my head, embarrassed to even be in this position. “I didn’t want to be a scared beat-down wife, it just happened. I didn’t do anything to stop it when it started; that was my fault and I know it.”

I took a deep breath and addressed my peers. “And Jake saved me. I never thought my day of justice would come from a judge under his seat, but I knew right then I'd never get hit again when he said to me: ‘Wait in the truck. Just wait in the truck.’”