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SPRING brEAKUP soaked through the UGGs I found in Megan’s closet. My feet grew numb on the walk home; I knew better than to forget the plastic baggies. Why did Cody have to ruin my boots?

Not only did the ice and water slosh beneath my feet, but I heard it creak and crackle under tires behind me.

I turned to see how much time I had before I needed to move to the side of the road, but there was only darkness as far as I could see.

Strange. On alert, I continued to walk toward my trailer park.

Then, I heard it again. This time, though, I waited to turn around. Lights moved in the other direction; someone had come off the side road and headed toward town. I released my breath.

My nerves were on edge; every sound after that made me jump. For the third time this week, the same car seemed to appear in this same spot. I couldn’t help but wonder if John had come for me.

Each time he bought a dance, his sessions grew more intense.

He started off a little rough, sure, but over time he added new positions and demanded I do things that hurt.

He was usually my last customer of the night; each time he left the bar, I hoped to never see him again.

It had become harder for me to control his actions; he shared a shot and an Oxy with me when we spent time behind the curtain. He knew it made me less apprehensive.

When he put his hands around my neck tonight, though, I told him “No.” He didn’t listen. I tried to push him off me, but he reminded me how much I liked what he did to me and threatened to take his payment back. I gave in and allowed him to continue because I needed the money.

Even the pills wouldn’t dull the anxiety of not being able to breathe, though. Scared that he would kill me right then and there, I bucked under him, but he held tight, getting off on my fear.

The more I struggled, the harder he squeezed.

His eyes turned dark, and I tried to scream.

Eventually, I turned over a table and it crashed to the floor.

I guess I had made enough of a ruckus because Willy arrived and pulled him off me.

Yelling obscenities, Willy forced John, pants down, through the bar and out the front door.

I tried to act like it was just any other day but when the owner, Mr. Peterson, peered into the backroom, I had been re-applying my makeup. I’d only met him a couple times, but he seemed like a nice guy.

“I’ve turned a blind eye to what happens between you girls and the customers back here, but please believe me, I didn’t know anyone was hurting you.

I’m so sorry.” The apology fell short. “Kennedy. Go home. Take the week off, I’ll consider it vacation time.

You’ll get your full pay. Don’t worry about Hannah and Yasmine; they’ll be okay without your support for a little while.

When you come back, things will be different, I promise. ”

Sweet, but he obviously didn’t understand how much money Hannah and I pulled in from our activities in the back room. There’s no way the owner would put up a couple thousand of his own dollars to cover my absence.

Slush splashed on my legs, bringing me back to reality. An engine revved as a vehicle sped past me; lost in thought, I hadn’t heard the truck approach. My ears perked up again as a vehicle without headlights slowed to a stop behind me.

I picked up my pace and ran. The car crept closer but didn’t pass. I turned to see what make or model it was but couldn’t see without any moonlight. Is it John? I hope to hell he’s not back for revenge.

Whoever it was, decided to stop and back into a driveway, then turn around. I didn’t slow my pace after they left; I ran the last half mile to my house. Sweat dampened my hairline and I became breathless.

I closed and locked the door behind me. What if John had come after me? What would I do to protect myself? I need a car.

I should have let Hannah drive me home. It wasn’t that far, so I figured it would be okay, just like any other night.

One day, though, I wouldn’t need to worry about who wanted to come after me. There would be no need to think about how much it would cost for my sibling’s clothes for school or groceries when my mom refused to go out.

Cody and I planned to have a little house somewhere in the lower forty-eight—somewhere warm—with black shutters and surrounded by a white picket fence. We’ll be happier than anyone on this earth.

IF I WANTED my choice of cereal and lunch meat, mom forced me to go with her to Safeway.

The local grocery store was the only place I could find Froot Loops.

Emily liked it when I brought home treats for her.

Nathan always asked for a toy car to add to his collection.

Since I started working, I stopped asking Mom to buy things for me. Or for them .

Little did Cody know, I continued to work at the bar to make ends meet.

If he knew, he’d probably kill me. The threat to leave me if he found out stuck with me and I prayed he would never know.

It was a chance I had to take, though. As much as I loved him, Emily and Nathan being hungry wasn’t an option.

At least now it was just the younger kids I needed to worry about.

Zach was safe with his dad and Megan moved to Los Angeles last year hoping to make a positive change in her life.

Jealous as I was, I told her I was happy for her when she found a guy and got married.

Her husband was in a rock band, and they were on their way to the big time.

Mr. Ripple winked at me as we entered the store. Embarrassed, I tucked my head and pretended not to see him. After his time on the couch, he always tipped at least a twenty for drinks. As reserved as he was in real life, it still surprised me every time he laid a hundred on the table.

Mom had noticed how much money I spent and asked where I had found a decent job in this shitty little town. I had lied and told her I worked with Mr. Ripple most evenings. Well, it wasn’t a total lie.

“Where’s the dill pickles?” Plastic wheels squeaked from the shopping cart my mom pushed.

“How should I know?” Cranky and hungover, I forgot about the white lie .

Lettuce and tomatoes filled crates all around us. “Well, don’t you work here?”

Shit. I grimaced. “They’re not in the produce section, that’s for sure.”

“You should know where everything is. Or are you that slow it takes six months to figure out which aisle the pickles are in?”

As we turned the corner, a pudgy man in a white shirt stopped short. Mom gasped and put her hand over her heart. “Excuse me, Mr. Ripple.” She moved her hand to her hip and tilted her head. “You startled me. I nearly ran you over. Please forgive me.” Her fake apology annoyed me.

He looked her up and down. “No, Mrs. Smith. I’m the one who should be sorry.” He licked his lips and glanced at me. “It’s so nice to see you both.”

“Likewise. I’ve been meaning to ask how you’ve enjoyed working with my Kennedy?”

“Oh.” Surprised, he lifted his eyebrows and stared at me. “Let me tell you, you’ve raised a fine young lady.”

“CODY!” He did come back for me. He promised he would, but I didn’t know if he was serious or just trying to keep me from working.

Our love must be real if he came back. I ran out the door of the diner into his open arms. Still shaken from the stalker incident, the warmth of my boyfriend’s embrace comforted me.

“Hey, Kennedy. I missed you so much, my princess.”

His kiss breathed a renewed energy into my lungs, and I held on for dear life. He leaned me against his truck and made it clear to everyone who could see us from inside the restaurant that I belonged to him.

“Baby, let’s get out of here,” he whispered in my ear, and I knew what he wanted. I didn’t even bother to tell Brittany where I was going; she’d figure it out.

I hadn’t paid attention to which direction he drove; I expected him to take me to his house so we could make up for lost time. Surprised when he pulled into my trailer park, I asked, “Why are we here? I thought …”

“Well, you thought wrong.” The truck jerked to a stop, and he jumped out, tapped on the hood as he rounded the front, then swung open my door. He had never been to my home before, so I wondered what he had up his sleeve.

A red Camaro sat in the driveway—Steve. Mom was entertaining in the middle of the day. “What are we doing here?” The key stuck in the door, and I had to wiggle it to make it come loose.

“Come on. Hurry up.”

“We need to be quiet; my mom has company.” I grabbed Cody’s hand and led him to my room. I tossed my hair over my shoulder and started to unbutton my shirt. I didn’t even care that he saw the disgusting kitchen and messy bedroom, I just wanted to be with him.

He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. “Where’s your suitcase?”

Confused, I frowned. “I don’t have a suitcase.”

“Well, grab something to pack your stuff. You’re coming back to Anchorage with me.”

Stunned, my jaw dropped open and he chuckled.

“Hurry up.”

We spent the next five minutes packing some of my favorite clothes as quietly as we could. I was excited to spend a week in Anchorage; it must have been meant to be that my boss gave me the time off to recharge my batteries. I was determined to make the best of my time with Cody.

Two garbage bags later, we jumped into Cody’s truck and headed north. I couldn’t wait to see where he lived and went to school. My mom didn’t need to know I had left; I would call her later to tell her when I’d be back. It’s not like she would miss me.

Fantasies of touring the city and going to places I’d only heard of, like Talkeetna and Denali, flooded my mind. “I’m so excited to go to Anchorage. I’ve only ever been once before. I can’t wait to see the zoo.

“Sure, Seward has the Sealife Center, but I want to see an elephant and a giraffe. I’ve heard Denali is even more beautiful than Homer Spit. Can we go there, too?” Without letting him answer, I chattered until we reached the Tern Lake Pullover.