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VIEWS OF THE Alaskan countryside never got old. Blue skies surrounded the majestic peaks of Denali in the distance and the crystal-clear blue of the Susitna River reflected puffy white clouds. As much as I enjoyed the outdoors, I would have also enjoyed a ride to work.

The truck just sat in the driveway all day while Cody looked in the paper for jobs and crafted his new and improved resume. If he went anywhere throughout the day, I couldn’t tell.

During my daily walks, I had plenty of time to think. Brittany crossed my mind at least every other day. I missed how we used to joke and laugh about everything. I can’t remember the last time I laughed until I couldn’t breathe. It had definitely been with her.

Although it was kinda nice to be away from my mom, and I knew she didn’t miss me, I thought about Emily and Nathan all the time. Emily was probably dating, and Nathan surely had grown like a weed.

It saddened me to be kept in the dark, but Cody’s plans would even out, and I’d be able to go back to Seward soon enough. He wouldn’t admit it, but I could dream.

Work also consumed my thoughts. Anything to not have to think about the most recent bruises on my forearm and what I had done wrong to deserve them.

My boss encouraged me to come up with ideas on how to improve customer experience.

Instead of stressing about my future, I had another purpose. I put the time to good use.

“Hey, Brian.” As I dried glasses and put them away, I hesitated to share my idea.

What if he thought it was stupid? “I’ve been thinking.

You should offer tastes of beer in little glasses, so customers know which one they really like before they spend their money on a full glass.

Like a sampler platter for beers, instead of appetizers. ”

Silence had never been a positive in my life, so I made it go away. “Lots of people aren’t sure what flavor they’ll like—or whatever you call it—and I’ve given more than a few free glasses because whatever they ordered wasn’t what they expected. I hate to waste so much by taking away full glasses.”

A smile formed at the corner of his mouth. I’d seen that look on Cody; most of the time, it wasn’t good.

“It’s just a thought.” I bowed my head and turned .

“Kennedy. Wait. That’s the best idea I’ve heard in a year.” Brian leaned back against the cooler and tapped his chin with a pen. “I’m going to make it happen.”

I could tell how much the suggestion resonated; he began mulling it over in his brain immediately. For the first time in—well, ever—my opinion mattered.

Two couples entered through the front door and took in the unique interior of the bar. As if the original structure had been a ski chalet, a fireplace encompassed the entire east wall.

Brian had positioned couches and loveseats close enough so warmth would reach customers in the winter. In the summer, when the fireplace sat dormant, the closeness proved to be a more intimate setting.

I followed them to the couches and delivered menus. “Welcome to Brian’s Burgers. Have you dined with us before?”

“Nope. First time.” A petite blonde with joyful eyes smiled. “What’s good here?”

“Everything. Seriously, I’m not just saying that.” I explained the menu first, then, on a whim, described the new beer sampler. “For five dollars you can choose five different beers to test, that way you can find your new favorite.”

After I noted their orders, I turned in the slip to Brian. “All four of them would like to try our new beer sampler. ”

Stunned and exhilarated, Brian nodded. “Nice job, Kennedy. Nice job.”

We worked together to put the sampler together for the first time, then again ten more times that evening. It was a hit. My idea worked and my boss loved it.

I felt so good about my time spent at work that I almost didn’t care about having to walk home. After all, it was nothing new; I had done it in Seward and Dallas. Now that we were back in Alaska, I needed to remind myself to be watchful for large predators.

A stale scent of old wet carpet hit my senses as I opened the door.

It would lessen the longer I saturated in it; I poured a shot of whiskey to make it disappear.

To make this entire house disappear. I couldn’t wait until we could afford our own place.

Or at least to fix some of the brokenness of this one.

Winter wasn’t far off, and some of the windows were still covered by plywood.

“I had the best day.” The smile on my face couldn’t be replaced.

“I bet you did.” Impatience laced Cody’s words. Bent over the newspaper spread out over the coffee table, he frowned.

I ignored the negativity. “I did. I came up with a new menu idea and Brian loved it.”

“I bet that’s not all he’s lovin’. ”

With the TV blaring, I almost didn’t understand his comment. Ugh, here we go. “So many customers don’t know which beer to choose, so I suggested a sampler platter. It was a hit. Brian is going to put it on the new menu starting next week.”

“How many times did he fuck you to thank you? I can smell your sex from here.”

“Come on, Cody. I’m not sleeping with anyone else. I love you; you’re my husband.”

“Didn’t take you long to find someone to fuck in Dallas. Why should Talkeetna be any different? I’ve seen how he looks at you.”

“You don’t recognize that look because it’s called respect. Something you’ve never had for me.” I couldn’t help pushing my luck. The far-fetched accusation pissed me off.

He stood and touched his nose to mine. “You can’t deny it; I know how you feel when I fuck you and it changed in Dallas.”

I didn’t care if I pushed every one of his buttons; he ruined my night, and I was about to ruin his. “How am I supposed to stay tight with the things you and your Johns do to me? You’re being ridicu—”

A FLASHBACK of a fist coming towards my face—fast—raced through my mind like a bad movie.

My heart swam with the memory of five or six strikes, I had lost count after three.

I reached up to the spot on the side of my head that hurt the most. Hair that was normally soft and clean had become stiff and gooey with a thick gel-like substance.

Fuck . Pain shot through my forearm as I reached for my throbbing chin and attempted to figure out what other body parts had been damaged. Ow. Oh my God. It's everywhere. Pain swallowed my body almost like I was drowning.

Voices surrounded me and I longed to open my eyes. The deeper voice spoke at a lower volume than the higher pitched one. Crusty goo stuck my eyelids together, making it impossible to see the face which I sensed near mine.

The hard floor had been replaced by something soft. Softer, anyway. A bed? Certainly, a pillow. Why am I so tired? I tried so hard to open my eyes and sit up as I pushed with one hand, but a stiff shell held the other one in place. Warm fingers gripped my bicep.

“Kennedy. You're okay. Honey, sit back. Stay still until the doctor comes.” Soothing coos came from my right side. A faint odor of baby powder covered the smell of disinfectants.

Doctor? Jesus, what is going on? “What happened? Where's Cody?”

“He’s at the police station, darlin’.” A different voice—an older male—came from the other side of the bed.

“Everything hurts.” I swallowed hard; my mouth dry. After taking inventory of which areas of my body throbbed, I continued. “My head, face, neck, arm, ribs, stomach …”

“What do you remember, sweetie?” The nurse held my hand that wasn’t in a cast.

“I fell down the stairs and must have been knocked out. When I woke up, I had horrible, excruciating pain in my stomach.” My eyes flew open; I gasped. “The baby?”

The nurse shook her head and pursed her lips. “I’m sorry, honey.”

Tears streaked down my cheek to my jaw. I didn’t bother to wipe them away. “I guess it’s probably better this way.”

All I could think of was how I had made the biggest mistake of my life. Sure, there were warning signs and red flags. At first, I thought Cody’s discipline had just been normal husbandly acts of “keeping me in line.” But I never thought a few slaps here and there would turn into … this.

I wonder if he would have kicked me in the stomach if he knew I carried his child. I didn’t tell him on purpose because I was afraid he would take the baby from me. In the end, that’s exactly what he did anyway .

I had gained some weight but was still too early to show any physical signs. He couldn’t have guessed, could he? Did he know? Did he do this on purpose?

After spending the night in the hospital, I was honestly scared; I knew he wasn’t fucking around. My dumb ass didn’t press charges.