Page 78

“The benevolent queen that perished years ago was my mother,” Emyr says, tone void of emotion. “The creature father made you into hasn’t been my mother for a long time, Blue Lady.” Her calculating gaze flinches for a moment before returning to its original state.

If my mouth wasn’t already gaping, I’m sure it would now.

Mother.

The Blue Lady is his mother?!

The husband that cursed his wife is King Tiernan in a distorted attempt to keep her alive?

I’m not sure which piece of information that I’ve learned in the last several months is the most shocking: that Tiernan is Emyr’s father, Emyr is actually the Prince of Zulgalros, or that the feared banshee is his mother.

My brain swirls at how dysfunctional his family is because of his father’s ambition.

It’s a wonder that Emyr didn’t go mad years ago.

Regardless, it would’ve been insightful for him to mention the fact that she’s his mother during the weeks we’ve been riding on Danté’s back.

The Blue Lady wails as tears slip down her cheeks, forcing us to cover our ears. “Yet, it’s you and your father that abandoned me here,” she cries. “I’ve become what I must to survive this existence, just as you have. We’ve both become monsters, but the Na Fíréin will save us from this fate.”

When Emyr doesn’t respond, her eyes slowly roam over the group, until her gaze lands on me with sudden focus.

She tilts her head to the side as an unsettling smile creeps along her beautiful features.

“My, my,” she croons. “How lovely it is to see the child of stars and shadows.” Her comment stuns me momentarily, as I’ve never heard anyone refer to me as such.

Is it possible that she believes me to be someone else?

“How long I’ve waited for the appearance of the one to awaken the Na Fíréin, and now here she is…

in my presence. It’s a shame Siorai chose you, and not someone more worthy.

” Her eyes cut over to Emyr as she finishes her last statement.

I wish he’d chosen someone else too, Lady, I think.

I bow once more. “Forgive me, but have we met? Why do you call me the child of stars and shadows?” I ask. Is it quite possible that the dead queen of Zulgalros knew my family?

She arches an eyebrow, turning to Emyr. Though she doesn’t speak, Emyr understands her questioning gaze. “She has amnesia, and doesn’t remember her life before fifteen. She didn’t even realize she was capable of wielding starlight until a few months ago,” he answers.

Sure, Emyr. Let’s just tell your mother all the things that are unnatural about me.

“Your pendant and your blood reveal who you are, child,” she says, inhaling deeply. “I can smell the heritage of each being here.” She slowly floats along our group, causing all of us, except Emyr, to squirm.

“Shadows,” she says to Riordan.

“Shadows, as well,” she echoes to Laisren .

She points an index finger to my pendant. “Stars and Shadows… yet more,” she whispers to me.

What in bloody Celestae is that supposed to mean?

When she stops at Virgil, she blinks rapidly. She smells him not once or twice, but three times. Through the entire ordeal, he stands his ground, never flinching away. Her hands hover over the planes of his face, as if she were counting every scar. “Intriguing,” she murmurs.

“Care to enlighten us?” Emyr growls.

She smiles ruefully at her son. “No,” she deadpans.

Emyr sighs. “What’s so intriguing, Mother?” he demands.

Her gaze lingers on Virgil a moment longer, then she is gliding away from him. “What interesting company you keep, Emyreus,” she sneers.

Then, to my dismay, she turns her attention back to me.

It seems that in this weird version of the afterlife, she’s also picked up uncomfortable habits of staring so deeply into one’s eyes that she finds their souls.

The glowing, blood red eyes remind me so much of Domhnall that I wonder whether he suffers the same fate as the former queen.

“Death surrounds and follows you like an old friend, doesn’t it?

,” she whispers. “It’s such a burden upon your shoulders, yet a noble honor to possess.

” She sighs, pausing briefly as she looks around the group.

“Death in this company is no different.”

“What does that mean?” Virgil snarls.

She looks upon him with mock-sorrow. For a moment, her eyes glimmer with a sort of knowing, as her mouth curves into a wicked sneer. “How deeply your scars surround you,” she answers. “Does your sister know what became of her beloved brother?”

Virgil’s hands flex at his sides. “No,” he answers through gritted teeth.

My anger coils within me at this dastardly woman. I’ve had quite enough of her backhanded comments. “How dare you!” I snap at the former queen. “His sister is dead, but I’m sure she’s proud that he survived the hellish childhood he endured without her.”

She laughs sardonically. “Perhaps,” she reasons. “Only time will tell. ”

Emyr immediately stands between me and the Blue Lady. “That’s enough, Mother,” Emyr snaps. The haunted banshee shrinks back as if he’d slapped her, but the reaction only lasts a moment before a look of indifference sets into her features. “You’ve had your fun. Now, answer the original question.”

The former queen sighs. “I foresee a war coming that’ll bring much death.

I see a darkness that swallows the realm, while your group desperately tries to stop the light from fading,” she pauses.

“I also see two deaths before the end of three winters. One a permanent death, the other is yet to be decided.”

“You’re lying,” I seethe. The thought of losing even one of my new friends breaks my heart, but the idea of one of them possibly being Emyr terrifies me.

“I can’t lie, child. I can only speak what I’ve foreseen,” she replies.

Then, she waves a hand through the air, and the creaking gates behind us slowly open.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for the burden this must bring to your hearts, but allow me to bestow one act of kindness: I won’t reveal which of you shall perish. Now go. Time is ticking.”

Though I have more questions, Emyr bows his head and drags me by the arm out of the graveyard. “Do take care of yourself, Emyreus,” she calls after him.

“Okay,” he growls.

“Oh! Maeva, one more thing,” she yells. My head swivels in her direction, watching as the gates close, leaving her locked within their confines. “Whenever your memories resurface, be a dear and come back for a visit. We’ll have much to discuss.”

Emyr pulls me a little harder this time until we’re over the looming hill and the graveyard is out of sight.

“What do you think she meant by that?” I ask.

“Nothing,” Emyr replies. “She’s just toying with your mind.”

“But what about her warnings that two members of this group will die?” I ask. “What if she can help us prevent them from occurring in the first place? ”

“That’s not how her curse works,” he seethes.

“I wish you would’ve told me that the Blue Lady was your mother ,” I grumble.

“Would it have made a difference?” Emyr retorts.

I tug my arm free of his grasp. “It would’ve prepared me at least for the possibility of meeting her,” I reply.

He doesn’t stop walking or slow his pace. I jog to keep up with his long gait.

“For what it’s worth,” I say, “it doesn’t make me think less of you. On the contrary, I’m sad for everything you’ve endured.”

Emyr growls, “I don’t want or need your pity.”

I grimace, starlight coiling around my hands. “Then what do you need, Emyr?” I yell. “It’s exhausting trying to understand what we are.”

Emyr flinches as shadows leak in thick tendrils, as his emotions heighten. Holding out his hand, he summons Danté. “Then stop trying,” he barks.

As he swings onto Danté’s back, I reach for him, only for him to back pedal Danté out of my grasp. “What’s gotten into you?” I ask. “We’ll get through this together.”

Emyr scoffs. “Did you believe we’d be together?

I’ve kept things from you, and every time something from my life comes to light, all I see is the sorrow in your eyes.

All I’ve ever done is hurt you, and I… I don’t know how to be anything more than what I am.

The sooner you come to terms with that… the better. ”

I stumble back, my face growing hot in my retreat. “You’re being cruel,” I whisper. “Just because you believe that we won’t work doesn’t mean that I do.”

Emyr winces, and for a moment I believe I see a tinge of regret.

However, that’s short-lived as he rides off into the night, without another word…

leaving me far behind. Not once does he glance back to see if I’m still watching.

Perhaps he already knows that I am and doesn’t wish to see me.

I don’t stop the tears that fall freely as my heart fractures.

I cry for ho w his declaration affects me, and for the Galrosan that believes all his sins make him undeserving, when it’s the furthest thing from the truth.

A strong hand grabs my shoulder. I tilt my head down to hide my face from him. “He’ll come around,” Laisren whispers.

I sigh, wiping my eyes. “Did you know?” I ask.

“No,” Laisren replies. “Emyr just…” He trails off, trying to find the right words. “He takes a long time to open up about the situations he’s endured. His mother has always been a sore spot for him… Now I know why.”

“How do we help him?” I inquire.

The typically taciturn Second Commander sighs heavily, running a hand through his platinum-blonde, disheveled hair—looking off into the distance.

Worry lines crease his brow, as his lips turn into a deep frown.

“We can’t assist him until he’s ready to help himself,” he replies.

“The most we can do for now is to allow him the space to think.”

My heart plummets at the thought of him wrestling with this alone. What if he continues to believe the lies that he’s been told his entire life? What if he recedes so far within himself that he can’t find his way back from the darkness this time? What if?—

Seeing my mental distress, Laisren gently wraps his arms around me in what I assume is meant to be a comforting hug. His body is so stiff, like the action is foreign to him. I’m so stunned by his comfort that I don’t return the gesture. “He’ll come around, Maeva,” he reassures me. “He always does.”

Releasing me, he shares a forced half smile as he summons his own horse.

Laisren chews on the side of his lip, his eyes shifting to Riordan and Virgil sitting on their steeds several yards away.

He moves in closer, almost as if he doesn’t want them to overhear what he has to say.

“I worry about him and the darkness he carries, but I think that you bring him peace. I’ve never seen him truly happy in all our years in service together,” he whispers.

“At least that was the truth until he met you. I just ask that you don’t give up on him. ”

I offer a sad smile, which placates him enough to mount his own horse. The devotion and care for his friend reminds me so much of Cara’s tenacious loyalty to me and our family.

The thought of them splinters my heart. Everything I’ve done is to bring them back, except falling for Emyr.

He’s the one selfish decision I’ve made in the last ten years.

However, when the time comes and I have my family, will I be able to go back to Aurelius—to the floral shop—and leave him in my past?

Laisren holds out a hand. “Shall we?” he asks.

I nod, accepting his assistance up onto his mount.

Riding with Laisren is different than when I’m with Emyr.

I feel protected with Laisren, but there’s not a strange warmth in my gut, nor do I feel the need to lean back into his embrace.

Laisren, ever the gentleman, keeps his arms out on either side of us, so as to not graze me unintentionally.

As we race through the woods, I ponder the relationship I’ve established with Emyr and this group. The thought of them serving Tiernan after I’m gone causes my stomach to churn. It’s the first time I’ve admitted to myself that I refuse to let them continue in this empty existence.

They’re my family as much as the Cales.

I know what I must do: I’ll find a way to untether them from the treacherous king, even if it costs my own freedom.