Page 32

“It’s never going to be okay.”

Her words were filled with such guttural pain.

In all my years as part of Tiernan’s army, I’ve seen my fair share of suffering.

I’ve seen pain and anguish, but never have I seen someone’s emotions practically rip them apart from within.

The cool disposition she’s worn slipped away when she saw him .

Her lips were turning blue as she clutched the Dragon’s Flame against her chest—her breaths became so rapid.

I tried calling her name over and over again, begging her to listen to my voice.

I tell myself the reason I care isn’t because I can’t stomach seeing her in pain. Instead, it’s because my mission and duty is to keep her alive long enough to be delivered to the king.

She’s an obligation—nothing more .

Which is exactly why I scoop her into my arms before she hits the ground, as she loses consciousness.

Tiernan will be displeased if she’s injured.

It’s also the reason I pick a random room key and storm up the steps, my cadre trailing behind me.

Tiernan would want her to be secure.

It’s also why I gently lay her on the bedding, and command Virgil and Riordan to sit with her, while Laisren and I retreat.

Tiernan’s prize must be well-rested.

That has to be the reason.

It can be the only reason.

It can’t be because the sight of her in tears drives me to feel murderous tendencies for the one that triggered her.

It’s not because watching her body tremble from her grief propels me toward her, hoping to comfort her.

It’s definitely not the reason I allow my third and fourth commanders to sit with her, knowing she feels more comfortable around them.

It’s absolutely not because her guilt mirrors my own for things I can’t control.

That would be absurd.

No, it’s my duty to keep her safe on this journey from anything I deem as a threat—which currently includes the clerk that has attempted to maneuver around me for the last half hour.

“I don’t care if you’re the High General or not, I need to be in there when she wakes up,” the Malvorian bloke demands.

“No,” I reply, my voice lethal. “You’re the reason she collapsed in the first place.”

“It wasn’t my intention. I’m just shocked to see her in such interesting company,” he retorts.

My shadows slowly dance along my skin.

“ It’s all my fault,” her voice echoes across my mind.

She blames herself for a tragedy that she didn’t choose, and he has the audacity to force it out of her ?

How dare this Gawain character make her feel this way?

Everything in me wants to shred him apart.

“I’m sure she will come find you when she’s ready to speak with you,” Lairsren says, cutting in.

“I have the right to know what happened to Cara… my fiancé,” yells Gawain.

Does he want to die tonight?

The absolute pair on this one.

“Your only right is to the knowledge Maeva deems necessary about her sister,” I seethe. “You won’t force it out of her as you did in the lobby. Laisren is right. She’ll come find you when she’s ready—not when you decide it’s relevant.”

His ticking features are pugnacious, as if debating whether taking a swing at me would be worth it.

I really hope that he does.

My ability has been itching for a fight ever since I left the Palace of Nightmares. Before he decides to use that measly little fist of his, the door behind us swings open.

We turn to find a rather solemn Maeva, her eyes roaming between the three of us.

“Are you feeling well, Maeva?” Laisren asks.

She nods. “As well as I can be with grown men behaving like caged pixies outside my door,” she grimaces.

Gawain shuffles his feet, most likely embarrassed for his behavior— as he should be.

“Gawain is requesting to speak with you, and we were just telling him that you’d find him when you’re ready to receive him,” Laisren declares.

She nods solemnly—the tremor in her hands returning as she stares at Gawain.

I step in front of her, blocking the Malvorian snob and Laisren from her view.

I’m merely a breath away as I lean in close to her ear.

My helmet brushes against her hair. I don’t miss the shiver that trails across her shoulders.

“You don’t have to speak about what occurred in Aurelius if you aren’t ready,” I whisper.

“Just say the word, and I’ll send him away. ”

She leans back to look up at me, and something flickers in her irises as her trembling ceases. “He deserves to know,” she murmurs. “I need to tell him before someone else does.”

“If that’s what you desire, then it shall be,” I whisper. Turning around, I find Laisren smirking, while Gawain just gawks. “You may speak with her, but one of us is to be present in the room,” I reply.

He huffs. “Am I not permitted a private audience with my to-be sister-in-law?” he retorts.

“She’s wanted by his royal highness, King Tiernan.

Regardless of who you believe her to be, I won’t have someone with whom I’m not familiar alone with her.

For all I know, you’ll put some ridiculous notion in her head to escape.

I can assure you that neither of you would get very far if that were the case.

I’d hunt her down until my final breath,” I warn.

I’m pretty sure the chill radiating behind me is Maeva conjuring up new ideas on how to torture me slowly, but nothing I said is false.

I don’t trust Gawain, nor do I trust that he would not try to harm her once he learns the truth…

whatever that full truth entails. It’s my duty to protect her—the king’s orders, of course.

I can never let her go, even if that makes me the villain.

The disdain rolling off of Gawain is evident.

He opens his mouth to speak, most likely about to spout something that would end his tediously short life, but Maeva steps from behind me.

There’s a storm brewing behind her deep, tired eyes, though I am not sure whom she’s more angry with at the moment.

“Virgil,” she says. “I want Virgil with me.”

I look over my shoulder to where my fourth commander still remains in the room. His eye widens. He appears shocked that she’d pick him as her support.

I’m not.

Since Aurelius, she seems the most at peace with him. For some reason, he has taken a liking to her as well .

Does he find her attractive? I wonder, a small tingle in my chest at the thought.

No. I can’t go there, I remind myself.

I have to remember Virgil’s past helps him to relate to her situation better than anyone else here. I suppose she could sense that in his responses to her as she sat on the floor of The Violet Lily. If he makes her feel safe, then so be it.

“Is that arrangement to your liking, High General?” Gawain taunts.

I ignore the clerk entirely. “Virgil?” I ask. “Can you handle this?”

My fourth commander understands what I’m actually asking: Can you keep her safe from him if needed?

I’ll allow him to make the final call, even if I would prefer it to be me in the room with her.

Virgil nods once. “Yes, High General,” he says.

“We’ll be in the hall if you need us,” I say, gesturing to the rest of my cadre. As Maeva turns to enter the room, I grab her arm. “Do not attempt anything reckless, or you will regret it,” I say, more to scare Gawain than her, but it still gets the point across.

Maeva’s eyes don’t leave the ground as her sharp voice cuts through the silence. “As you wish, High General.” Then, in a quieter tone, she whispers, “Thank you. I won’t take up too much of Virgil’s time.”

“He’ll keep you safe,” I murmur. “Take the time you need, but once it’s done, I expect Gawain to leave your chambers.”

Her eyes meet mine, and for a brief moment, there’s something other than hatred illuminating her irises.

It’s probably the exhaustion and rather poor lighting.

Gawain clears his throat as he pushes between us.

I growl. “If you try anything?—”

“I know. I know. I’ll be sorry,” Gawain snipes out, turning to Maeva. “Are you coming?”

“Yes,” she replies .

She crosses the room to where Virgil sits in the chair by the bed. She takes a seat on the mattress, adjacent to him, folding her shaking hands in her lap.

“Please, close the door, High General,” she says.

“As you command,” I reply.

My eyes never leave hers—even as the door closes between us.

My hand rests against the wooden frame, my chest tighter now that she’s out of my sight. I want to open it again just to be sure that she’s okay, but I meant what I said.

I’ll give her the time she needs.

While I don’t trust Gawain, I know Virgil is more than capable of dispatching him if the situation calls for it.

Laisren places a hand on my shoulder. “She’s going to be fine, Emyr,” he murmurs. “Virgil won’t allow any harm to befall her.”

I release the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding.

I turn to my brothers that are still in their full armor. Their eyes look heavy with dark circles, telling just how long this day has been for all of us. “Why don’t you two go eat and relax. We’ve had a long journey, and you both deserve a break,” I say.

“Not a chance, mate,” Riordan replies. “We’ll be here until that heckler leaves Maeva’s chambers. Then we’ll gladly go.”

“Agreed,” Laisren nods. “I have an odd feeling about him. There’s something unsettling about this bloke.”

“I’m glad it’s not just me,” Riordan interjects. “I’ll rip him apart if he twitches the wrong way.”

I nod, elated that my brothers understand my reservations about Gawain.

I lean against the wall nearest the door, listening for any signs of a struggle.

All is silent except for the warbled murmurs from within.