Page 19

I groan in frustration.

While my body desires to rest, my mind cannot stop recalling the events from the night before—curious to know if my sister is willing to talk.

The way things ended makes the butterflies in my stomach flare up a notch.

I’ll happily accept her yelling at me if that means she’ll at least communicate with me.

As much as I know she needs answers, I need her help untangling all of my jumbled thoughts.

I throw back the sheet, flinging open my door. I continue my brisk stride until I stand before Cara’s room. I raise my fist to knock, but a sound gives me pause. A soft whimper escapes through the cracks in the door.

Perhaps this is not a good time.

I turn around to leave when a soft nudge in my mind stops me .

Knock, Maeva. You will regret this moment if you don’t make amends, the voice purrs.

What do you mean? I ask.

The voice doesn’t reply.

Taking a deep breath, I face Cara’s door. I hesitate before summoning the courage I need to face her.

Knock! Knock!

The sobs dissipate. Everything behind the door is silent.

I lean against the door’s frame.

“Cara, it’s me. May I come in?” I ask.

Her reply is so soft that I wouldn’t have heard it if I wasn’t so close.

“Go away, Maeva,” she replies.

Her voice is hoarse—like she’s been crying for some time.

“I know you are upset, but please, Cara. Let’s talk,” I say.

Silence.

“You promised we could talk today, remember?” I ask.

“I do not wish to speak with you at the moment,” she quips.

“Sister—”

“Do not call me that,” she interrupts. “You are not my blood.”

I stagger back.

“You don’t mean that,” I whimper.

She’s silent, and a searing pain erupts in my chest.

“Cara, please don’t act like this. Just give me a chance to explain,” I plead.

When she doesn’t respond, I jiggle her door knob… still locked.

“You need to go, Maeva,” she commands.

My shoulders droop.

I don’t want to leave her, but what else can I do?

“Okay. I love you, Cara,” I whisper, retreating to my room.

It’s only when I am within my four walls that I allow myself to sob.

I needed her to listen—to understand. How can that happen if she won’t allow me to be in her presence?

My heart feels like it’s being wrenched in half.

It feels helpless. I don’t know how to reach my sis—Cara.

How can I prove to her I am still who I have always been?

As teenagers, she promised she would never shut me out, never turn her back on me:

It’s adoption day.

I am sitting in my room, waiting for the Elder to arrive. I wipe my wet palms over my lap. Amelia sewed a lovely lavender dress for such a special occasion. Delicate flowers and vines swirl around the hemline and along the bodice. She assured me I look beautiful and that today would be perfect.

I really hope so.

My heart is racing as I tap my foot against the wooden floor.

Knock!

Cara enters wearing a matching lavender dress, but with an added pink sash around her waist.

“Today is the day,” her sing-song voice rings out.

I smile sheepishly.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, sitting down beside me.

“Nothing. It’s just… Are you sure that Rolph and Amelia desire this? It is one matter to have an orphan living with you out of kindness, but another entirely to adopt them,” I reply .

“Mae—”

“I am so grateful for everything they have done for me,” I say, interrupting Cara. “I don’t know where I’d be without all of you. I just…”

A sob catches in my throat.

“Just what, Maeva?” Cara asks.

“I don’t wish to be a burden. After all, I will be nineteen soon, and I could leave so I am no longer an inconvenience. I-I couldn’t bear it if you abandoned me too,” I say, releasing a breath.

“You’ve never been an inconvenience to this family, Maeva,” Cara says. “If anything, you’ve added another beautiful element to it. From the moment Mama and Papa brought you home, I felt as if I’d known you my entire life. We love you and want you here.”

“She’s right,” calls Amelia from the doorway.

“We love you and have seen you as one of our own for some time now. We’d love nothing more than to have you as our legal daughter, but this isn’t something we’ll force on you.

If you don’t wish for us to adopt you, we respect your decision.

If you wish to leave in a few months, we’ll allow you to go, even if it’ll break our hearts.

If you choose to stay and become a Cale officially, you will always have a place here. ”

Cara grabs my hand as I wipe tears away.

“You’re my sister, Maeva. I promise that I’ll never abandon you. You’re family… forever and always.”

If only that were true now.

The walls feel like they’re closing in around me.

My room is stifling and suffocating. I quickly throw off my nightgown and replace it with one of my smock blouses and dusty-blue, mid-length skirts.

I tie the upper half of my waves back with a ribbon, matching my skirt.

Then I storm out of the room and down the stairwell.

Maybe in a few hours, she’ll be willing to talk.

Maybe then my heart will have enough time to stop aching from her words:

“You need to leave, Mae.”

“Is everything you ever said a lie?”

“You are not my blood.”

All my fears of being unwanted are flooding to the surface?—

She did not mean those words, interrupts the voice.

Right, because she said them out of the kindness of her heart, I deadpan.

They were spoken out of fear, my dear. Fear has a way of warping even the strongest of minds, the voice replies.

While that might be true, it doesn’t stop the onslaught of words from ricocheting in my mind.

Orphan. Forgettable. Replaceable. Easy to abandon. Null.

Though that last one is debatable at the moment.

I’d briefly looked in the mirror but didn’t see any visible signet tattoo, nor have I felt a flicker of power since the attack. Still, I cannot help but wonder .

I am finishing up the last of the laces on my boots when I hear the patter of small footsteps behind me.

“Maeva,” chirps Aine. “Where are you going?”

“Just for a walk, my little doll,” I reply.

She jumps about delightedly.

“Ooo! A walk!? May I join you?” Aine asks.

“Perhaps next time,” I murmur. “I need a moment alone.”

She sags, deflated.

“Okay,” she replies.

I grab both of her hands.

“How about I make a deal with you? When I return, we can play dress up for as long as you like,” I say.

Her disappointment instantly morphs into excitement.

“You promise?” she asks.

“With all my heart,” I reply.

She squeals, throwing her arms around me.

Suddenly, more feet appear in the entryway. I look up to see the twins, Rolph, Deidre, and Amelia with Fion propped on one hip.

“Going somewhere?” Rolph asks.

“Maeva is going for a walk,” declares Aine. “But she promised to play dress up with me later, so I’ll allow it.”

The group chuckles at the little girl as she continues to jump around enthusiastically.

“Are you sure you want to be alone right now?” Amelia asks.

I see the concern that lies beneath their smiles. Well, other than Fion, of course, who is currently droopy-eyed against Amelia’s shoulder.

I offer them the most reassuring smile that I can muster.

“Yes, I am fine. Besides, a stroll will do me some good. I might even stop by The Violet Lily just to make sure everything is in order for tomorrow,” I say.

“Okay,” replies Rolph. “As long as you’re sure that you’re okay. I can come with you if you’d like company. ”

“Thank you for offering, but as I told Aine, I am okay to be on my own,” I reply. “I promise to be back before it gets dark.”

Rolph closes the distance between us. In an instant, his arms wrap tightly around me, resting his chin atop my head. I return his embrace, burying my face in his chest. Then, more arms circle around us from all sides.

“We love you, Maeva,” Rolph says. “You know that, don’t you?”

I swallow, forcing back tears. “I know. I love all of you too,” I say.

We stand there for what feels like several minutes. The warmth of their hugs soothes an ache in my soul. Regardless of how Cara feels right now, I claim them all. Blood relation or not. I’d bring Celestae to its knees if only they’d ask.

Blood might be thicker than water, the voice says, but a familial bond is one that tethers one heart to another for all time.

I’m inclined to agree with the voice, when wiggling beside me steals my attention away.

“Can we move now? I am squished,” says Aine.

We laugh as we release one another. I peck a kiss on each of their cheeks before heading for the door. “I’ll be home soon,” I call over my shoulder.

“Be safe,” they reply.

Then, I shut the door behind me.