Page 4

My fingers continue to tap on the ledgers in front of me, as if that would help my concentration.

It doesn’t.

Cara’s earlier statement before Ms. Ellis’ visit continues to repeat as if on a loop in my head:

“It is an exciting occasion. I want to coordinate something extra special for you.”

It’s my twenty-fifth year.

It is meant to be an auspicious occasion, yet I’m overwhelmed by the prospect of this birthday.

When a Malvorian reaches twenty-five, they are considered full grown and will no longer show signs of aging.

Along with it, a Malvorian will also fully embrace their ability or abilities that are gifted to each individual by Siorai, the god that rules over the realm of Celestae.

However, I am one of the less fortunate ones who never received any such gift.

A Null.

That’s the term the villagers whisper amongst themselves about me and others like myself. We are seen as an omen… a warning as to what happens to those who displease Siorai.

While most Malvorians see flickers of their abilities around their eleventh year, I have yet to see even a trickle of any such power. I have cried, begged, and pleaded to Siorai for years to grant me even the simplest of abilities. Yet, I have only ever been met with silence.

Perhaps the god despises orphans like me.

“So,” Cara interjects. “Do you have any suggestions for your birthday?”

“I don’t really have a preference, Cara. I am sure I will enjoy whatever you plan to do,” I say nonchalantly.

Cara frowns.

“Mae, I promise this birthday will be different,” she says softly.

I scoff.

She has never wavered in her faith that Siorai will grant me an ability one day, even though my hope dwindles with each passing year.

“You say that every year, yet nothing changes. Besides, I’m quite fond of the peace and quiet being a Null affords me,” I sigh.

Liar.

“Surely you don’t mean that,” Cara gasps.

I don’t, but what other options do I have when no one wishes to associate with me? I think.

I square my shoulders.

“I do indeed. The extra time allows me to read without having to worry about being invited to frivolous festivities,” I smirk, hoping she will change the topic.

“Are you not interested in kinships outside of our family, Mae?” Cara inquires .

The term, family, causes my heart to tighten with a deep longing.

It aches for my biological family that I don’t remember, desiring answers as to what occurred ten years ago.

While I love the Cales for taking me in, it doesn’t stop my thoughts from roaming.

I’m curious to know why they never came to look for me all those years ago.

Surely, if they had noticed I was missing, they would have looked for me…

Yet, it’s been ten years, and no one ever came.

Of course, it would’ve been useful if I could at least remember their names or my life with them, but I do not.

My memories begin on the day that the Cales found me wandering the streets of Aurelius on a cold winter’s day.

They found me, nurtured me, and brought me into their home as one of their own children.

I will always be grateful to them for their overwhelming kindness.

I clear my throat, hoping Cara won’t notice the glistening sheen to my eyes. As close as I am with her, I never want her to see me in a state of weakness… At least what I deem to be weakness. I delusionally tell myself that I can handle these situations on my own.

Why bother her when I have everything under control?

“Ah, but I already have you,” I reply as playfully as I can muster. “One pain in the arse is more than enough for me.”

A slow grin spreads across her face.

She pushes against my shoulder, guffawing as if my remark is the funniest thing she’s ever heard.

“Well, I wouldn’t have to be one if you weren’t so stubborn about enjoying some revelry,” she teases.

I squirm in my chair. “I do enjoy revelry,” I retort. “My version is just different from yours.”

Cara rolls her eyes, giving me a knowing look.

“Maeva, you’re my sister. I know you,” Cara says affectionately. “You are talented, kind, and overprotective. You have so many endearing qualities that draw others to you, but I am going to say this with love… You wouldn’t know how to find merriment, even if it smacked you in the face. ”

I groan.

She really wants to have this conversation… again .

“Honestly, Maeva. The only thing I have ever seen you do for yourself is read books late into the night, or garden the plants for The Violet Lily,” she continues.

“I find it entertaining, and I enjoy their company,” I retort.

Cara crosses her arms over her chest. “You are aware that the characters in your books don’t count as socializing,” she says incredulously. “They aren’t meant to be your companions any more than if your flowers could speak to you or offer you guidance.”

“Which is why they are the best kind of company—silent, except for in my head,” I say.

“How would you know? You never allow anyone the opportunity to get to know you,” Cara groans.

My jaw tightens. “I find most interactions aren’t worth my time or energy,” I say through clenched teeth.

Lie .

“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’VE NEVER GIVEN ANYONE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KNOW YOU!” Cara yells.

I stumble backward, shocked at her outburst. Cara rarely raises her voice, especially at me.

I know she means well, but I’m not like her.

Social interactions have never been my strong suit, as I’m not well-versed in making small talk.

Which is an issue, because small talk topics seem to be the only bits of information I’m willing to give.

In order to become acquainted with someone, I first have to be vulnerable. I’d have to be willing to lay my heart bare—allowing someone else to see all the good and bad within.

I’m just not willing to allow that.

Perhaps I am broken.

I force my gaze downward as tears silently fall down my cheeks.

“I am not like you,” I say, voice barely above a whisper.

“I’m a Null, Cara. An orphan. A nobody.” As I dare to glance at my sister, I find her eyes have softened as a small frown creases at the corners of her lips.

“I don’t have an ability like you. Once others realize that, they will turn their backs on me.

You know as well as I do that abilities matter to Malvorians.

It isn’t about who you are as much as it is about what you bring to the table.

It’s impossible to ask for a seat when I already bring nothing of value. ”

I release a strangled breath.

There it is.

The truth to my fears.

Cara’s ability manifested slowly as a child.

I’m told she was eleven when her Malvorian signet of a red flame formed on the side of her neck.

Siorai gifted each of the four kingdoms a signet tattoo to distinguish which one someone might belong to.

Malvoria is the red flame; Zulgalros is the black head of a horse; Briezius is the blue trident; Abeautrox is the image of a brown mountain.

Within each signet are an array of abilities one can wield. Cara’s ability is reading emotions.

While most Malvorians with the ability to read emotions can also alter them, Cara can’t, making her less valuable to the king’s soldiers.

The king only chooses the strongest amongst each of the abilities to join his ranks.

She tried for years to master her ability beyond just reading someone’s emotions, but to no avail.

Still, Cara’s ability is distinctive and lovely, just like her heart.

So, what does that say about me?

She is at least someone with a family and an ability.

I have no one.

At least that’s the narrative I have told myself for the last ten years.

My hand instinctively clutches my golden pendant necklace that lies on my chest. It is circular, roughly the size of two silver coins, with a small eight-pointed star in the center.

The four central points are larger and positioned in the four cardinal directions, while the four smaller points are thin and are positioned within the four quadrants.

Each quadrant has a stunning and intricate design.

The top left quadrant is detailed with a horse mid-gallop, while the top right quadrant consists of rolling ocean waves.

The lower left quadrant is a design of a rustic mountain top that appears to have details of snow at its peak.

The final quadrant is unique, as it does not show any breathtaking landscape or mountain range.

Instead, it holds the design of a resplendent dragon as its smoke curls around it.

I rub my thumb over the raised detailing.

It’s been on my person since the day that I was found wandering Aurelius.

It was tucked beneath the fabric of my dress, so I hadn’t noticed it until Amelia and Cara were helping bathe me that first night.

It’s the only clue I have to where I came from.

Of course, nothing about it has brought any memories to the surface, though I find immense comfort in its nearness.

A soft hand brushes against my shoulder.

I do not look at Cara, but I find her small gesture reassuring.

“I cannot change what happened in your life before you came to stay with us. Just because you are a Null does not make you any less valuable or worthy of love. You still have a week before your birthday, and your signet tattoo might appear by then,” she says hopefully.

I tilt my gaze up to hers, allowing for the briefest of vulnerabilities to pass between us. She carefully wipes the falling tears from my cheeks, offering a reassuring smile.

“You’ve always been special,” she continues.

“Just because your family never came for you doesn’t mean you are unwanted.

I’ve never been more proud to call you my sister and friend.

Perhaps it is time for you to start seeing yourself that way, too.

The only way for others to see what an exquisite gem you are is to let them see how brightly you shine… even without an ability.”

I sigh.

She is right.

Cara will always help me pick up the pieces of my heart. No matter what transpires, I know I will always have her. Siorai may not have given me an ability, but I can only thank him for the gift of Cara as my friend.

“Okay,” I say softly. “I will allow you to organize an outing for my birthday, but only if you keep the list of attendees small. ”

Cara squeals in delight as she wraps me in a hug so tight that I fear I’ll pass out. It thrills my heart to see her so excited. I know she would never force me to celebrate, but she has a way of making it impossible for me to decline her kind gestures.

“We shall have the most diverting evening of your life,” she says, pulling away. “I promise you won’t regret this.”

I laugh because knowing Cara, the whole affair will be extravagant—at least as extravagant as it gets in Aurelius.

I offer my sister a kind smile.

“I’m looking forward to it.”