Page 54

Monster.

Demon.

Abomination.

Wraith.

Murderer.

The words swirl in my mind as the warmth of the water curls around me.

I submerge myself beneath, hoping to cleanse myself of the sin that I committed tonight.

Yet, under the surface, the images of what he made me do dance across the churning water.

Aria’s screams and declarations replay over and over again.

You should’ve saved her, my fears whisper. You could’ve resisted the pull of his commands, but you didn’t. You gave in like the coward you are.

I’m more than the demon he created, I reply, reemerging from the watery depths of the tub .

I wipe the droplets from my face as an image of Maeva’s tear-glazed eyes play out before me.

Can she trust me after what I’ve done?

I tried to resist the pull to obey Tiernan, but the more I attempted to delay, the stronger the pull became—feeling as if it would rip me apart. The noose is around my neck, and Tiernan controls the lever. As long as he’s in control, I’ll never be free.

I never wanted to be this.

I didn’t want to kill her, but what choice was I given?

I made her death as quick and painless as I could for Maeva’s sake, even though I know the king would’ve preferred my more brutal methods. I couldn’t subject her to that.

After Aria’s neck snapped, I couldn’t force myself to look into Maeva’s eyes. I wouldn’t have survived seeing the horror etched into her features again. Even though Maeva briefly knew this woman through her sister, it’s evident that Aria’s involvement with the Friotaíocht was shocking to her.

As soon as the frenzy began, I bowed to the king and excused myself to my chambers.

What happened tonight was a message. Its nature is still unknown to me, but the king knows far more than he’s letting on—that’s for certain.

I could’ve ripped his arms from his body for the way he touched Maeva during their dance.

Were it not for the loyalty oath, I would’ve relieved his head from his shoulders without a second thought.

I need to see her.

I need to know she’s alright after everything that happened this evening.

I must know if she hates me now after seeing a small glimpse of what I’m capable of when he’s in charge of my actions.

My heart is restless as I quickly dress in all black.

I head into the dark corridor, hoping to remain close to the shadows so as not to alert Domhnall of my movements if he’s lurking at this hour.

The floating candelabras provide a dim light, so I can’t hide completely as I sneak toward her chambers. Laisren is standing outside of her door as I approach. He nods at me as he continues scanning the corridor.

“How is she?” I whisper.

“She hasn’t spoken since we left the garden, but she’s resting now by the looks of it,” he whispers back.

I sigh, rubbing a hand through my hair.

“Do you want to talk about what happened out there?” Laisren asks. “I know how his orders affect you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

I clear my throat. “I’m okay, brother,” I reply. “I detest that of all the nights he chose to pull a stunt like this, it’s in front of her.”

Laisren nods. “Virgil is convinced that it was planned to force her to show her ability to the courts, but when she didn’t call it forth, he changed tactics,” Laisren whispers.

“Perhaps, but either way, I loathe that she was put in that situation. She barely knows how to wield it, so what would this have accomplished anyway?” I ask.

“I don’t know, Emyr. Whatever his reasons are, they won’t be in her best interest,” Laisren warns.

“Then we must do everything we can to prepare her for whatever he plans next,” I reply.

Suddenly, a loud scream comes from within Maeva’s room.

My shadows rapidly spread out from me, and I fling open the door to her chambers.

We scan the room, but only find Maeva sitting on her bed clutching her sheets to herself, staring at the space where the wall and the door meet.

She’s trembling, refusing to look away from that one spot.

“There’s nothing here,” Laisren says, shoving his sword back into his hilt. “Maeva, are you okay?”

She violently shakes her head.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I reach for her hand, but she recoils from my touch. She continues looking around the room and out into the corridor, as if searching for someone to be lurking in the shadows. “Maeva, talk to us,” I say quietly. “What happened?”

Again, she just shakes her head. “She might be listening,” she whispers .

Immediately, I create a dome around her entire chamber. Whoever is frightening her, I plan to deal with severely, but I need her to feel secure enough to tell me.

“Maeva, whoever she is can’t reach you in here,” I say, reaching for her hand once more. This time she doesn’t pull away, despite how much she’s trembling. “You’re safe,” I assure her.

Maeva runs her free hand over her face as she tries to regain her composure. Her dilated pupils roam along the dome until she’s satisfied that whoever frightened her isn’t nearby any longer.

“What bloody happened, Maeva?” Laisren asks.

“Cara,” Maeva’s shaky voice whispers.

Laisren and I exchange confused glances.

“Your sister?” Laisren asks.

“Yes,” she says, swallowing thickly. “My sister.”

Laisren frowns, looking from me to her. He’s just as concerned and confused as I am about what Cara might have to do with any of this.

The poor girl is dead, after all. Did someone sneak in here and say horrific things about her?

Did a spirit taunt her with the news of her dead family?

Either way, whatever happened has truly frightened her.

“What about Cara?” I whisper, hoping for some kind of clarity on the matter.

Maeva’s chest heaves as her wild eyes close once more. Her hands fly up to her face as her body continues to move and shake. Instinctively, I reach out, trying to pry her hands away, but she doesn’t budge. “Rosey, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what someone has said about Cara.”

Maeva’s head snaps up then, her red puffy face on full display as she looks at us with a puzzled expression. “No one said anything about Cara,” she says.

“Then for bloody Celestae, woman, what is it?” Laisren says, apparently losing patience with her. “What do you need to tell us about Cara?”

Maeva chews on her lip, releasing a sad laugh. “You’re going to think I’m crazy,” she murmurs .

“I can assure you that neither of us will think you’re crazy,” I say gently.

“Speak for yourself, mate,” Laisren says under his breath.

I form one of my shadows into the shape of a hand, and it slaps Laisren across the back of the head. Laisren has never been the warm and fuzzy type when it comes to women crying, because it usually makes him uncomfortable. However, he quickly straightens to his full height, clearing his throat.

“We won’t think you’re crazy, Maeva,” he says, just a tad snarkier than I would’ve liked, but it still seems to convince her.

“Okay,” she finally says. “Well, Cara was just here. She was standing in this room.”