Page 134 of When We Fall: Part One

I glared at Trent, who gave me a wide-eyed look as Ryder grinned at me.

“H-hey, LeeLee,” I finally choked out. “How are you?”

I took the phone off speaker, went to Ryder’s bathroom, and closed the door. I looked like a fucking nightmare. Black circles rimmed my blue eyes. My hair was sticking up in all directions. I hadn’t changed my clothes in two days. In fact, I’d been sleeping on Ryder’s couch for the last two nights because I knew if I went home, I’d drink some more, and if I were going to be wasted, I’d rather it be with people.

“Hey,” relief poured through her voice. “I-I’m OK. How are you?”

“I’m good,” I mumbled.

“A-are you OK? You sound… drunk.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am. I, uh, I’ve just been busy. You know how it is.”

“Right,” she said softly. “I get it.”

“You don’t,” I mumbled.

“Then explain it to me. Why did you stop talking to me? Did I do something wrong?—”

“God, no, Rosalie. It’s not you. Fuck, don’t think it is, OK? I just… we want different things, you know?”

“Do we?” Her voice shook.

“I-yeah. We do. I’m doing my thing, you know?”

“With other girls?”

I pounded my fist softly against the wall.

“I’m sorry. That’s not my place to ask. That’s way out of line?—”

“Yeah, with other girls,” I said, hating the fucking words as they rolled off my tongue.

“Oh.”

It was probably the only way to get her to let me go. If she were holding on. I hadn’t been with anyone since Alice. Rosalie was the one who stood center stage in my life.

Fucking hell, this was goddamn torture. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I knew there was no hope for us, so I needed to cut her free.

I needed to be free, too.

This shit was killing me. It really, truly was.

“I’m actually headed out with the guys to meet up with some girls,” I continued, my words slurred.

“T-that’s nice. I’m happy for you.”

“Yeah?” I licked my lips. “How are things at home? Living the dream?”

“Guess I am,” she murmured. “Cole and I are planning on having a baby. I’ve been taking the vitamins he got for me. Started them a few weeks ago. Wedding planning. All that. It’s all great.”

“You don’t practice like you used to,” I said numbly into the phone, my heart fucking breaking at hearing the news she was giving in to having a baby.

“I do. The guys have started letting me drive myself places. Only to school, so not really places. It’s been nice. I’ve been staying after once a week to use the practice room?—”

“Once a week isn’t enough,” I said immediately. “If you want to gain a career, you need to be in there every waking moment, LeeLee. No slacking.”

“Honestly, Anson, I don’t even care anymore. It’s whatever.”