Page 31

“When I was young, even younger than Margo, I-I… had an accident.” I took a deep breath.

“My zirilium had just recently surfaced, and I was practicing in secret with my mother. Father discovered us, and things got heated fast and… in a freak accident, I mistakenly took my own mother’s life with my abilities.

” I said the last part with less confidence than before, tears threatening to well in my eyes, but I rapidly blinked them away.

I cleared my throat as the table was shocked into silence, and I continued.

“In my memory, I only recall a bright blue light when I touched my mother that day. I always thought I had used lightning to kill her, but after this morning, I wonder if maybe it had been fire, instead. Though, I suppose I’ll never know.

After that day, Father had me start trying different elixirs until we found one he settled on.

I didn’t know what it was in the beginning, I just knew I felt weaker.

Now I know they were nullifying anything about me that was Southern, anything like my mother. ”

I saw Quinn glance at my right eye, and hoped she realized I meant that change, too, was hidden until recently.

I stood there after I finished speaking for what felt like ages, before Rayven finally met my eyes. He suddenly stood up, placed a fist over his heart, and said, “I wield shadows, and I vow to help train you in the ways of shadow zirilium, my queen.”

I gasped at the sudden act of faith, especially from him. He was generally very quiet, and not somebody I’d spent much time with. I nodded my head slightly in his direction, a silent thanks. He dipped his head in an act of respect.

Teagan stood up next, following Rayven’s lead, placing a fist over her heart. “I wield earth and plants, and I vow to help train you in the ways of earth and plant zirilium, my queen.”

Chess shot up out of his chair, fist over his chest. “I wield plants, and I vow to help, too, my queen!”

A smile broke out across my face, and I couldn’t believe what was unraveling before me.

Robyn stood up next to me, following suit. “I wield crystal, earth, plants, and fire, and I vow to help train you in the ways of all of the above, but especially fire, my wife .”

I gasped at his last words, at his claim in that moment. I couldn’t help but notice the way he looked around the table, clearly proud of the people he called his closest friends. His Valwain.

There was a beat of silence before Quinn’s chair scraped against the wooden floor as she stood.

She slowly raised her fist to her heart.

“I wield fire and crystal, and I command armies. I vow to help train you in the ways of crystals and war, my queen.” She looked around, then met my gaze. “Don’t make me regret this.”

I dipped my head to her slightly, a show of respect and acknowledgement.

Ezra and Margo hopped out of their chairs, placing their fists over their hearts, and vowed to help in any way they possibly could.

Finally, I couldn’t hold it back anymore. Tears welled in my eyes, and I looked at each of them with awe.

“I can’t thank you all enough. I vow to do my best to be worthy of all of your efforts,” I said, my voice full of emotion as my eyes flickered around to each of them as I spoke.

I think I might have just made some new friends.

** *

Robyn and I turned down the dimly lit hallway that led to our rooms, my hand in his once again.

The rest of dinner was full of chatter and laughter, everybody seeming to be less tense now that all of my issues had been aired out.

I had been worried about drawing close to the Valwain, when in reality, it simply made me feel lighter. It felt freeing to let these people in—people I now knew just wanted the best for me and genuinely wanted to help.

I’d been smiling all evening, to the point where my cheeks had begun to ache. And feeling Robyn lightly run his thumb along the side of my hand was only making me smile more.

We came to a stop in front of my door, and I murmured a small thank you to him before turning to enter the room.

I placed my hand on the door handle, but couldn’t seem to actually turn it to enter the room.

After a moment of hesitation, I turned back to Robyn. Suddenly my heart was speeding up.

“Listen, alright, this might sound odd, but I promise I’m not trying to be.

I just have realized lately that I sleep better when I’m around you, and I’ve gotten kind of lonely in here by myself.

I could really use a good night’s sleep, because I haven’t really been sleeping the past week, but-but if you’d rather not, that’s alright too because—” Robyn lifted a hand and gently cupped the side of my face, forcing me to meet his gaze.

“What are you asking me?” he asked, though I could tell by the smile playing on his lips that he already knew.

“Can I come sleep in your room with you?” I asked quietly. I could feel my face turning pink the more I spoke. My heart was beating so fast I was surprised he couldn’t hear it.

“Oh, my love, I thought you’d never ask,” he responded just as quietly. He dropped his hand from my face and took my hand in his again, leading me into his room.

We took turns sharing the washroom to get ready for bed, and when I stepped back into the bedroom, he was already laying down, waiting for me.

My face flushed again at the sight of him, remembering suddenly that he enjoyed sleeping shirtless.

He had given me a pair of matching pajamas to wear—an oversized, brown shirt with brown shorts that were so large on me they hung down to my knees.

I had to slice a giant hole in the back of the shirt for my wings, then left my mother’s dagger—along with all my other ones—in the washroom with my clothes.

I groaned as I realized how silly I looked in comparison to him.

His head snapped up at the sound of me in the room, then froze as he took in the sight of me.

His eyes roamed up and down my body, from the shorts to my loose hair hanging down to my waist. I could feel his pride welling in my own chest at the sight of me in his clothing.

“This isn’t fair. You look like... like that , while I look like a complete dork.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

Robyn was still staring at me, seemingly unable to respond, when I felt that warm sensation in my chest again. This time, I didn’t ignore it—I just let it be.

He shook his head slightly, knocking himself out of his trance, then lifted up the blanket. “Come over here.” His voice was lower than usual, and it took me a moment to register that the fae male in him must be foaming at the mouth at the sight of his wife in his clothes, covered in his scent.

I bit the inside of my cheek, but slowly crossed the room, reminding myself it was alright to be vulnerable with him. That I was safe.

Once I reached the side of the high bed, his arms wrapped around my waist and tugged me towards him, until I was standing between his legs. I rested my hands on his shoulders, our faces almost level, with me looking up into his eyes ever so slightly.

As our eyes met, I could see the war raging within them. The emotions swirling in my chest from him were as strong as they came—desire, yearning, longing. But with the way his muscles stiffened when my hands rested upon his bare skin, I could tell he was fighting his usual self-control.

As though a war truly was being fought within him, he slowly lifted his right hand from my waist and tangled his fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck.

He moved as though it pained him, excruciatingly slow.

My heart was pounding against my ribs, and I watched as his eyes flickered down to the long column of my neck, his gaze locking there.

I watched as his throat worked, his fingers tightening in my hair.

Just the sight of him so easily undone like this was causing my zirilium to sing in my veins.

Deciding to test the waters, I tilted my head to the side slightly, exposing more of my neck to him.

Deep in his throat, a sound similar to a growl ripped loose from his lips. “You have no idea what you do to me, love,” he said, his breathing heavy.

Before I could respond, he pulled me the rest of the way into bed. I let out a small squeal, surprised at the sudden break in whatever had just passed between us, but I found myself relaxing rather quickly.

“Another time,” he murmured, though it almost sounded as though he was reassuring himself rather than promising me.

He shifted, tucking me against his chest, and after a beat of hesitation, I rested my forehead against him.

He wrapped his arms around me like I might vanish into thin air, and our legs intertwined on instinct.

My wings spread out behind me, and I draped my arm over his torso, idly drawing circles on his lower back.

At first, I felt him tense up at the sudden contact, but after a heartbeat, he relaxed against my touch. I looked up into his face, and found that there was a slight pink tint spreading across his cheeks.

I couldn’t help but smile to myself.

The King of the South, blushing .

We lay like this, silently, for a while, until he saw me looking out of the window to the side of the bed.

“What are you looking for when you look out of the window at night?” he asked, his voice soft and gentle. It seemed he’d calmed down compared to earlier.

A sad smile crossed my lips. “ Et lyrm, ” I responded in Nolvym. “The moon. Before I left, my twin brother said as long as we were both looking to the moon at night, we’d be connected. It helps me feel like he’s not so far away sometimes,” I explained quietly, my voice full of sorrow.

Robyn sighed lightly, then placed his chin atop my head. “ Ve thyrem, Avi, ” I’m sorry, love, he responded in the old Northern tongue, surprising me. “I’m sorry. I know what it’s like to miss somebody.”

“You speak Nolvym?” I asked, my eyes searching his.

He nodded. “I learned it as a child and continued to study it as a teenager. Inphis adopted the common language shortly before the war, so I thought maybe the North would revert back to what they knew best. I always knew I wanted to be the one to bring peace to my people, my family. So I taught it to myself, just in case it was necessary to communicate with the North,” he explained, staring back into my eyes as he spoke.

I nodded in understanding, and tried to push the embarrassment I felt rising back down. I’d spoken Nolvym in his presence more than once.

I could feel sleep creeping up on me, so I broke our eye contact, resting my head against his chest once again.

Without lifting my head, I spoke without thinking, simply voicing the thoughts that popped into my tired mind.

“You know, you’re the first person to call me that. Avi. People usually shorten my name to Viva as a nickname,” I said to him after a moment, slowly closing my eyes. “I like it.”

He didn’t respond, but I could feel his emotions—warm, and overjoyed, and excited, and relaxed, and content. He was obviously very happy with our current arrangement, and I found that I was, too.

I leaned into his touch as his hand reached behind my head and gently twirled my hair around his fingers.

I was half aware that the idle circles I was drawing on his back with my fingertips became slower, but I felt so at peace in this moment, I couldn’t be bothered to care anymore about ignoring how I feel.

“Sweet dreams, Avi,” Robyn whispered into the darkness. I distantly felt his lips touch my forehead before I allowed sleep to conquer me.